Why Don't I Like Italian Food?

I've recently come to the conclusion that outside of pizza (I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Pizza!), I don't really like Italian food that much. I mean, I'll eat the stuff, but I'm never excited to go to an Italian restaurant. Of course, this poses a small problem, as my wife, who happens to be Irish, craves Italian food all the time. I don't know what it is - I guess its the fact that most Italian dishes include a pound of cheese, and even though i like cheese, I don't like that much cheese. Additionally, if it isn't elbow macaroni noodles, I'm not crazy about the pasta. That's probably why I dread having to eat Lasagna.

I like Italian seafood, like spaghetti and clam sauce, and even the mussels in wine sauce (it matters not which kind of wine sauce it is in, it is still scrumptious), and of course the salads, soup, and bread at Italian restaurants are usually quite delicious. But, the main courses just get to me.

My wife complains that I am a tough person to prepare dinner for, not only because of my disinterest in Italian foods, but also because I detest ham, and I'm not craze about any kinds of potato products outside of potato chips and thin french fries.

INXS Finally Has A New Lead Singer...

I liked INXS once ... actually, I still enjoy listening to their music - I have their greatest hits CD (which shouldn't come as a shock to all of you - as I have about 1000 cds, of which 66% are greatest hits cds). I was also saddened to hear that Michael Hutchins had died ... although I giggled when I heard how he died (That might be the most embarrassing way to go). I was sort of hoping that I'd be able to catch INXS, maybe at a small venue like the Tower or the TLA or something like that.

As it turns out, now I might get my chance. By reviewing the ratings of the INXS Lead Singer Search "reality" show, most of you probably didn't know that INXS was still actively looking to replace the deceased-masturbating-former lead singer. But, even though only 3 people watched the show, INXS does have a lead singer and is planning on doing a world tour ... Um, I'm guessing this will go over like a bucket of farts. First of all, a reality show to find a lead singer? C'mon INXS, you guys are better than that, aren't you? Second, why soil the legacy of INXS (is their an INXS legacy?).

Maybe it would've been cooler to have a more relevant band like Van Halen do this show. It would've really been funny to see how the arrogant Eddie Van Halen would interact with this lead-singing hopefulls. Maybe Dave would've snuck in to try and win the band over again ... is Dave still alive?

Anyway, I really didn't have much of a point in this post, other than to point out that the networks will come up with all kinds of ideas for really stupid reality shows.

Interesting Question

I was having a conversation with some of my coworkers, and the subject of high school was brought up. I came up with an interesting question/scenario - if you were able to go back to high school (the years you were there) with everything you know now, would high school be better? I'm not sure the answer. I said that I probably would end up the same way.

NFL Commercials

With the NFL using more and more commercials and advertising in order to make more and more money, we fans suffer more and more, because of these breaks in action. It is nice to have a break in order to make some food, get another beer from the fridge, or take care of some important business at the "oval office," but too many of these commercials will create major alcohol and "urinary" epidemics in the United States.

I do have a solution for the NFL, and it doesn't involve less commercials, because Lord knows that they will nix that idea immediately. Instead, my solution involves the NFL making a rule that allows advertisers to only advertise funny commercials during NFL games. This is the only way that these advertisers will keep my attention. I don't want to see boring luxury car commercials, or depressing Viagra commercials (I guess I should state here that the Hurricane Katrina fundraising commercials would be an exception to the rules). Instead, I want to see funny beer and fast food commercials.

Additionally, the rule should have a caveat that advertisers can only show the same commercial no more than two times a game. How many times have we seen that same Miller Lite referee commercial for what seems to be the 50th time in the first half of a game? It is downright ridiculous, and makes me consider purchasing Coors Light instead (but, unfortunately, the Coors Light commercials suck - but I'll get to that later). And, I love the Burger King commercials with the King running the ball in the endzone, but there are only two of them that I know of, and they play those two about 37 times each during a game.

Also, there should be a "fan voting" element in which fans get to vote whether a commercial is funny and should be aired during an NFL game or not. I have a feeling that the aforementioned Coors Light commercials with the "Silver Bullet Train" entering the stadium would probably not make the cut, because of the sheer annoying-ness of the commercial. Also, the Miller Lite referee commercial might finally be retired. One would've thought that they would've retired the commercial last year, after Budweiser developed their own referee commercial that basically goosed the Miller Lite marketing and advertising screen.

My guess is that none of this will happen, because the NFL depends too much on the advertisers, but this would be one way that advertisers might be able to reach the fans.

What's Bugging Me, you ask?

Hopefully you Philly people are familiar with the FOX channel in Philly and have maybe seen one of the news shows on this channel. Generally, I enjoy the news on Fox - especially Good Day Philadelphia ... although Jennaphr Fredericks is more annoying than Merrill Hodge. Anyway, if you have never watched this show or the news at 10:00 p.m., this channel has a "What's Bugging You" segment, in which viewers can call or send an e-mail to Fox Philadelphia detailing something that is bugging them - such as poor city snow removal, and the agonizingly slow pace of the Girard Point Bridge repairs,

Well, I have something that is bugging me, and it deals directly with Fox Philadelphia. You see, FOX's TV studios are located in the building right on the corner of 5th and Market Streets. About a year ago (maybe less), FOX decided to upgrade their building. However, this meant that construction would be taking place outside of the building (for some reason) and that the 5th Street sidewalk in front of the FOX building has been closed, AND they have narrowed the lanes on 5th Street.

This presents numerous problems. First, because the lanes have shift and narrowed, it is now a pain in the butt to figure out which lane you are actually in when driving on 5th Street. I have seen many almost-accidents take place already.

Second, since the sidewalk is closed, pedestrians have decided that instead of walking across the street to the adjacent sidewalk, they would instead walk head-on into approaching traffic in the left-lane of 5th Street.

Third, cars AND delivery trucks are parking in the left lane on 5th Street, so only one lane can get through, causing some really fun traffic in this area.

FOX, how long is this renovation going to take? I mean, you guys announced months ago that your new studio is up and running, yet I don't see any end to this logistical and traffic nightmare. Should I be trying to contact the city on this one (I'm sure that it'll be about as easy to get in touch with someone in city government as it is to take a spaceship to the moon)?

Oh, and please don't let Jenaphr Fredericks back after her maternity time is over. She annoys me too much.

Fast Food Filth

There are people that are self-proclaimed connoisseurs of music, art, wine, beer, and even gourmet foods. Me, I’m a connoisseur of fast food. Now, I don’t overdo it with fast food – if I go to a fast-food restaurant more than once a week, it is a lot, BUT when I see commercials for new fast-food gimmicks, I get that crazy “Ralph Macchio whooping crane” look in my eyes. I like “testing” all of these “limited time only” specials, and many of my friends will call me to get my “reviews” on any new fast-food items on the market. For instance, the Burger King Chicken Fries release seemed really awesome. I thought to myself, “how cool would it be to get a whopper with chicken fries…” But, alas, it is an entre, and you can get regular fries with the chicken fries – which seems kind of odd – too many fries in my book.

Anyway, I thought I’d bring up a few of the “failed” fast food gimmicks, at least in my book. For instance, one of the worst items I’ve ever ordered was tacos off of a Burger King 99-cent menu. Obviously, I should’ve known – why order Mexican food from a burger joint? I had to give it a try, and to say that I was disappointed would’ve been comparable to saying I was slightly unhappy when the Eagles lost the Super Bowl last season. If even part of this taco was cooked, it would’ve been nice. And the worst news is that they gave you TWO tacos for 99-cents. I guess the second one you could save for later in case you weren’t sure just how bad the tacos were the first time.

Another flop for me was the McDonalds cheese-steak. I know, I know – I live in Philly, I should know better. The best places to get cheese-steaks are the mom-and-pop joints (second time I used that word) in the area, not from a place with a clown as its mascot. However, because McDonalds makes irresistibly yummy foods, I thought I’d throw caution to the wind, and give this bad-boy a shot. The only redeeming quality of this cheese-steak was that it came with the orgasmic McDonalds French fries. Besides that, it was greasier than a John Travolta character, ridiculously small, and the “roll” wasn’t even authentic. Plus, the price was much more than the price of a regular cheese-steak at local Philly places.
There are a bunch more, but I wanted to see if you could share your experiences (plus I didn’t want to bore you to death).

Barry-Ball

As most of you (sports fans) probably know, watermelon-headed Barry Bonds made his "triumphant" return to baseball last night, almost hitting a home-run for the lowly San Francisco Giants. I'm guessing the Bay-area fans are pretty excited that their superstar slugger is finally back. But, I'm probably speaking for the vast majority of the public when I say that I hope his knee falls off - the sooner, the better.

I will not argue that Bonds is probably the best player I've seen (I'm hoping Utley, Pujlhols, or even A-Rod eclipse him, because I hate admitting it). But, the combination of his arrogance, his alleged sterroid abuse (the man is more guilty than O.J. in my opinion), and that huge plated-armor elbow pad he is still allowed to wear to protect him from an injury in 1992 - I just can't stand the man. Plus, now he is close to setting the home-run record. Somebody has to stop him. If I were a starting pitcher, I would aim the ball at the big beachball on top of his shoulders with every pitch. I hate him.

Church Chat

I would like to start this "rant" off by saying that I am a Lutheran, and even though I do not regularly go to church, I am a God-fearing human being, and I believe in God and Jesus. That being said, I think I finally realize why I have never been a big fan of going to church (not just in the fall, when I could be in danger of missing valuable NFL pregame shows). I came to this realization this past Sunday, as one of Sue's nieces was being Christened.

Sue's nephew, Evan, who is around 2 years old, was on the grumpy side, and wanted the company of his pacifier and teddybear. However, his mother informed him that these "friends" would not be accompanying him into the church. It immediately connected with me. I remember going through similar circumstances as a youngster - not being allowed to bring my favorite toy train or teddybear to church. Unfortunately for me, I also had to dress up in some sort of three-piece swinger suit that was about as comfortable as sitting on a cactus. What kind of motivation is this for kids who are encouraged to go to church? Yes, I understand the reasoning that it is a duty and obligation to go to church and it is not meant to be fun (and, yes, I've also heard the saying "was Jesus comfortable on the cross?").

My point is that I believe that church is very important, especially in teaching young kids morales. However, somebody needs to start thinking outside the box and making it fun, and even relevent to modern times (just my opinion). I would love to have other reasons or motivations in going to church, other than, because I have to (again, just my opinion). When my wife and I decide to have kids, I will take them to church or Sunday School, because I value teaching them morales and ethics and this is a great way to do so. But, I will not make them wear goofy tan suits, and make them keep their teddy bears and pacifiers in the car. I just hope it is less boring than I remember.

Reality T.V. - Enough Already!

I can honestly say that I watch no reality TV whatsoever ... and that is becoming a difficult task, considering that the networks and cable companies continue to try and ram this pig slop down our throats every single day. Consider this - American Idol, one of my least favorite shows in the entire world, concluded their annual dung-fest in early summer. Fox, in its infinite wisdom, put on a dancing show in its time slot for the entire summer. Unfortunately for me, people are watching this, particularly my wife. I hate it! Additionally, I hate the Real World, Road Rules, the Apprentice (although not as much), Wife Swap (or whatever the heck it is called), Nanny 911, or any of the shows that follow stars around (started by Ozzie Ozzbourne - and because of this show, I no longer can stand Ozzie or any of his music). I keep hoping that at some point, the reality thing will pass, kind of like acid-washed jeans. Sadly, I do not see any relief in sight. It is getting harder and harder for me to find good programming on TV. Thank goodness the NHL lockout is over.;

An Intriguing Question.

After one of our normally weird conversations, Ryk and I came up with an intriguing question. which is more dangerous - a smart insane person or a dumb insane person? I'm not sure the answer, because I'm sure both could create a lot of damage and destruction. However, Ryk said that it is kind of like comparing a mad scientist and a deranged lunatic ... but again, we didn't come up with which is worse. If any of you have an opinion on this matter, please share it, and let me know how you came upon your answer.

What is Plethora?

I chose the name "Plethora" because I plan on using this blog as a place where I can write about anything I feel like. Some days, it may be just a statement or two about something that I noticed. Others, it may be a rant. The sky is the limit.

For instance, one of the items of interest to me currently is the Farrelly Brothers and their bone-headed decision to make a three-stooges flick, but center the movie around women stooges. I can certainly understand thinking outside the box, but I'm having a difficult time swallowing this. The idea to remake a stooges movie, in my mind, is fantastic and long overdue. I would hope that the integrity of the Stooges would be upheld (the Curley-Shemp days), and I thought the Farrelly brothers would be able to incorporate the Stooges into modern times. But making the Stooges female - I don't get it. If they wanted to do something in the same breath as the Stooges, but with females, that is fine with me. But to actually use the title "The Three Stooges" whilst doing this is beyond me. Maybe it will be successful. Maybe it will be funny. But there ain't no way that it will be the Three Stooges. I think I hear Curley nyucking in his grave.