Slow Down!!!!

I guess I’m getting old (how many times have I said that?). Remember when you were growing up, and the time in between Halloween and Christmas seemed to take forever? Doesn’t it seem like time is going by much quicker now? I mean, wasn’t Halloween just yesterday?

I remember as a kid talking with a few friends about how “unlucky” we were as kids, because we weren’t old enough to do anything cool, and how great it would be once we turned 21. If I had a time machine, I’d go back to those days, grab my little ass by the collar and tell me to chill out, and enjoy it, because getting older is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Think about it – what were our responsibilities as kids anyway? Go to school, do homework, do some chores? That’s it, right? And for all of that, we even got 3 months off of school in the summer! We played in baseball, basketball, football, and soccer leagues – never a care in the world. The only care we had was going to the local 5 and 10, and hoping we’d get a Bo Jackson rookie card in the Topps pack we just bought … oh, and that gum was pretty good too, wasn’t it?

Yessir, those days seemed to go on forever, didn’t they? Now, weeks go by like days. I wish I had some sort of emergency brake where I could slow things down a little (only being used on weekends, of course). Anybody else feel this way?

ANother Reason To Hate Walmart!

Look, I’m not telling you where to shop or where not to shop, but I wanted to pass along a VERY dissatisfying experience I had recently with a store that many people probably frequent. Besides, getting this ridiculous frustration off of my chest will make me feel better. The store is Walmart.

Now, I watched a very disturbing video (I believe it was on the Starz channel) a few months ago about this “Monstropoly” of a store (yeah, I made that term up) – basically, the documentary states that Walmart comes into towns, makes absurd requests of the local government, threatens to leave, gets its way, kills off other smaller mom and pop stores, all while providing unfair wages and health benefits to its employees. It also went into the work facilities in China and other third world countries. So, the wife and I decided we would never shop there again.

Well, as luck would have it, we were looking for a Nintendo Wii (or two) on Black Friday. I woke up around 4:00 a.m. (call me crazy), and decided to check some online stores before I went out. I ended up checking out Walmart.com to see if they had any Wiis for sale. I searched for “Wii” and then checked under “Hardware.” To my surprise a price for a Nintendo Wii came up and it said it was available. I quickly purchased two of these …. Sadly, I didn’t realize these were gift cards for Wii’s. I contacted Walmart and told them of my mistake, but they said they had a policy of not refunding gift cards.

I flipped my lid. I know that I should’ve looked a little more carefully. However, I have two complaints. First, why is a gift card listed under the hardware section?? Second, why does Walmart need to have its own Wii gift card when Nintendo already makes gift cards for the Wii? Third, why couldn’t they refund this – I mean I contacted them right away. So, now I have two Wii gift cards and no Wiis. What the hell is up with this.

I immediately sent a complaint to them, informing them that I would check into what legal options I had. Then, I sent e-mails to local media outlets informing them of this issue (I know, they won’t do anything, because I’m sure Walmart gives them a lot of advertising revenue).

So, I hope that Walmart goes to hell, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

This and That ...

To really get into the “spirit” of Christmas, I figured I’d write down a few observations/annoyances from the past week.

1. You’ve probably heard of handlebar mustaches (think Rollie Fingers). I have no problems with these – in fact, depending on the person who decides to pull this one off, it can be kind of cool. However, I do have a problem with the handlebar eyebrow – I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before, until last week at work – an older gentleman was “wearing” his eyebrows this way. I found this slightly repulsive for some reason … kind of like the neck beard.

2. Black Friday shopping has gotten absolutely ridiculous. My wife and I decided to go out for this – we went to Target in Delaware (the home of tax free shopping), and the place was a zoo. You couldn’t even move in the store – never again.

3. Shopping for the Nintendo Wii has been an ordeal to say the least. My wife asked me in October what I wanted for Christmas. I had mentioned that the Wii would be cool. I didn’t think it would be this difficult to purchase, since it’s been out for a year. My bad – this thing has been tougher to get than Cabbage Patch Kids in the mid 1980’s. I was really close this morning – I went to Toys ‘R Us, and they had 30 of ‘em. I was 32nd in line. Many of these retailers are now selling the Wii in bundles – basically meaning, they are trying to get rid of sh*tty games whilst selling the Wii. I’m getting frustrated with this.

4. I really want to meet the guy who designed Wawa parking lots. He has made life difficult for many, many people in the Philadelphia area. I’m wondering if this guy (or gal) came up with the design as a joke, just wanting to see if the fine people at Wawa would actually agree to it. Wawa is lucky that it has good coffee.

5. I played football again on Black Friday (in the afternoon, after Christmas shopping). A few years ago, we scaled it back from tackle to two-hand touch … however, even after a few days, I feel like I was hit by a tank … ah, how good it feels to get old.

That’s it for now – I gotta prepare myself to watch the catastrophe that will be the Eagles annihilation tonight.

When I Want to Grow Up, I Wanna Be ...

Remember when you were little, and the sky was the limit in your mind? Some kids wanted to be astronauts, others wanted to be president. Still others wanted to be movie stars, or even train engineers (hey, lots of young kids loved trains – my younger brother was a freak about it … he ended up becoming an engineer, but not a train engineer).

I didn’t want to be any of these. No, instead, I wanted to be an ice hockey goalie. Sure, I had never, ever ice-skated before, but I figured that would be easy enough to learn. I was decent in all sports, but in my school, I was one of the best floor hockey players in my class. I used to wow the classmates in gym class … probably because hardly any of them played street hockey like I did on a religious basis. I was great in net, and had a devasting left-handed wrist shot … plus, my ball-handling skills were impeccable (and I was pretty good in hockey too … hey-yo!).

The problem is that I didn’t grow up in Canada (or Sweden, or any other place that had lots of ice). In fact, at the time, there really weren’t many opportunities for kids in our area to play hockey … and the opportunities that WERE available were, quite honestly, out of our price range. Still, I thought that somehow, someday, I would be playing ice hockey for my favorite team, the Philadelphia Flyers. I would someday trade in the baseball glove I used, and the sock I stuffed down my pants (to protect the boys, of course) for real hockey equipment.

Sadly, that day never did come. As I grew up, I realized that hockey wasn’t to be. I played in some deck hockey leagues, and realized that I was average at best compared to some of the others who apparently lived, breathed, and drank (heavily) hockey. I still enjoy the sport to a great extent … especially when the Flyers are doing well.

And one time, I even got to meet Jim Craig, the goalie of the 1980 gold medal winning Olympic team from USA. He was an idle of mine growing up – and as fate would have it, he was doing some sort of promotional appearances for the Leukemia Society when I was working there. I got to have my picture taken with him, and even got to tell him how much I enjoyed watching him play in those Olympic games. We spoke for about 10 minutes, and he was a great guy – really seemed to be thankful and was humbled that he had such an impact on my life.

What to Watch?

Thanksgiving week is finally upon us, and that means a short work week, football, and best of all, Turkey with family! We have a couple of traditions – one being going to the movies on Thursday night – after dinner. In the past, we’ve seen some really good ones, like Elf, Just Friends, and Borat. Of course, we’ve also seen some real clunkers. I think we might be in for another clunker this year, mainly because there really aren’t any decent movies out right now.

I guess the obvious choice, would be Fred Claus (can’t believe I’m saying that). Hey, it’s got Vince Vaughn in it, and he’s usually a sure thing. It’s also produced by the guys that brought us Wedding Crashers (a phenomenal movie). Plus, it’s a Christmas movie, so it should get us in the mood for the holidays. However, the previews I’ve seen haven’t really been all that inspiring.

American Gangster is out, and this looks like a fantastic movie … just not the type of movie one watches to get into the Christmas spirit.

Bee Movie is out, but from what I’ve seen, it just doesn’t look that funny. I think Jerry Seinfeld should really consider going back to TV.

Watching Beowulf would give us the opportunity to see Angelina Jolie naked … even if it is only a CGI version of her naked.

Other than that, I have no idea what to see. If any of you have suggestions, please pass them along.

The Good Old Days ...

A friend of mine were talking about the “good old days” the other day, and how things have changed. Please, let me bore you youngsters with the discussion, if you don’t mind.

First of all, nowadays a parent has to pretty much accompany a child wherever he or she goes, or at least have a member of the “parenting pool” of the neighborhood volunteer to do this … it very much sounds like being a designated driver, doesn’t it? Has the world become this evil this quickly?

Geez, when I was growing up, a typical Saturday would involve me waking up at 7:00, eating breakfast, then going out with my friends … whether it was playing sports, video games, going to the pool, going to the mall … the choices were endless. Sure, I’d have to be back by noon for the usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich … but then, I’d once again leave for the remainder of the day. Back then, all I had to tell my mom was what I was planning on doing … and even this didn’t have to be set in stone.

Our parents would let us go … even if we had to ride our bikes miles to get to wherever we were going. Public transportation? Sure, no problem! Playing basketball in a neighborhood we’d never been to? Absolutely! It never crossed our minds back then that dangerous people could be on the prowl.

I’m not sure if things just changed, or if these dangerous people were always out there … I mean, I’m sure some dangerous people were out there, but has this number increased? Today, there is no way my mom would’ve let me out the door without making sure that we had parental supervision. … and heck, I don’t blame her. All you hear on the news nowadays are stories of abduction, kidnapping, and murder.

When I have kids, I don’t think I’ll be able to give them the leeway my parents gave me … and that’s a sad thing. I miss those days.

You Collect What???

On every other Wednesday, I play cards with my friend Slant’s father-in-law and friends. It is normally low stakes, dealer calls. We play such interesting games as “Follow the Queen,” “Queen of Spades,” “44,” “Baseball,” “Criss-Cross,” and even a little “Hold-em.”

Last Wednesday, I went over to play, and realized that I was the only one showing up. Slant’s father-in-law (that’s where we play) informed me that when a month has 5 Wednesdays, we skip one of those weeks, so I was out of luck. However, I guess he felt bad that I drove all the way over, even though it is only a 10-minute drive. He invited me in for what I was hoping was only for a little while.

However, with Mr. Slant (that’ll be his name from now on, because I’m getting sick of writing Slant’s Father-in-law), one has to understand his stories tend to last for hours. He is an antique collector/seller … boring enough. However, the antiques he focuses on are pottery … even duller.

I spent the next two hours listening to all of these stories about how he collects, sells, and restores pottery. He went into great detail, much to my dismay. In fact, he talked excitedly about such things as the different kinds of sandpaper, types of glue, and the difficulty of matching blue paint with pottery. Even when my own eyes glazed over with boredom, he refused to acknowledge this, and continued to talk about the wonders of pottery.

When he was finished with these stories, he went on to talk about friends who collect and antique jewelry and guns. Then, he asked me what I was interested in collecting. I made the mistake of saying music and board games. Mr. Slant owns a book on toys and board games, and proceeded to show this to me … this, of course prolonged the night by a good ½ hour, and dramatically increased the headache that I had developed.

Mercifully, he let me go, but not before asking if anybody in my family collected or sold antiques. Having not learned my lesson, I informed him that my uncle collects antique radios. His eyes brightened … but thankfully, I was already out the door, and told him that we could continue our interesting dialogue next week during cards … unfortunately, next week is now here. Gulp!

Laundry Done Right!

On every Friday after work, I drive my shirts to my mom’s house so that she can clean and properly iron them … she insists on doing this. My mom has always tried to go the extra mile for her kids. As an example, I probably only mowed my lawn about 5 or 6 times this past year … not because I’m lazy, but because my mom beats me to the punch. Heck, she’s already raked my leaves a few times, and is ready to come back for more.

But I digress. Back to the shirts. So, I bring these shirts to my mom’s house on Friday. Then, get this, she gives me $20 … EVERY WEEK! I tell her there is no need for her to do this …. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the extra cash, but still. This is probably why my mom never got into the laundry or dry cleaning business. I mean, she’d have great clientele, but she’d lose money faster than Leonard Tose in Atlantic City.

Plus, Inga (my mom’s name) continually gives me chocolate when she hand-delivers the shirts on Sunday … yes, folks, the delivery is free-of-charge, as well. This week, it was Snickers, last week, it was Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I’m hoping for Butterfinger next week.

Eww, Gross!

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Pics from our trip

Ugh, another Monday! My wife and I had a great time in Atlantic City and Cape May this weekend. We forgot our camera, but I do have a camera on my phone, and was able to take some pics.

No, we didn’t hit it big in Atlantic City, although my wife did win $180 on the nickel machines (of course, I gave it all back). We did have a nice free dinner at Pickles in Bally’s, and our room was free, so all in all it was fun.

Cape May was decidedly more interesting. We stayed at the Cape May Inn, which, if you are not familiar, looks strangely similar to the house in The Munsters. Shockingly enough, the place is also apparently one of the most haunted houses in Cape May … especially, the fourth floor, which coincidentally was the floor we were staying on. No, we didn’t experience any “ghost action,” but it was still pretty funny. The Inn has a very good location though – right near some really nice shops, restaurants, bars, and the beach. Plus, for some reason, the Inn gave us a $50 credit for the restaurant and bar. Couple that with the highly inexpensive food and drink, and we felt like royalty.

Anyway, here are some pics of Cape May (and Mr. Stinky McSmelly, from the Penn State game):

This is the Cape May Inn – it was opened in 1894 … and it seems as if they tried to keep things the way they were then.

This is the little shopping “district” in Cape May. Since it’s November and the remnants of a hurricane were battering the area, not many people were out.

This is the light house in Cape May … we didn’t tour it, so I can’t really tell ya much about it.

This was the view from our room.

This is Stinky McSmelly … avoid him at all costs!

4 Years, already????

I won’t be posting on Thursday/Friday this week (I know, a truly sad day for Bloggerville), but I have a legitimate excuse. My wife and I are celebrating 4-years of marriage this weekend … in Atlantic City AND Cape May! Atlantic City is a fitting place, considering she took a “gamble” in agreeing to marry me in the first place (sorry folks, I couldn’t resist). Seriously, though, I think she made out ok. 4 years! It seriously feels like a year ago that we got married. I guess time flies when you have fun (that should build up those brownie points with the Mrs.).

So, what have I learned in these 4 years? First, I’ve learned that I REALLY am not creative when it comes to food. I can thank my mom for that. Do you realize it took me going to college to actually try Chinese food? I didn’t try sushi until was with my wife. Heck, on our first real date, we went to a sushi restaurant, and I ordered Chicken Teriyaki … that’s like ordering a hot dog at a steak restaurant. I’m getting better, but I still have a ways to go. My wife loves going to fancy restaurants, and making culinary concoctions. I’d rather just get a burger and fries (point of pain, folks).

I love sports and sports entertainment, and my wife loves reality tv shows and any “news” surrounding celebrities. Hence, we have 4 televisions in our house. But, we have both compromised a bit. My wife is in a fantasy football league that I’m part of … and she’s currently in first place. I agreed to watch Top Chef with her this summer, and hey, I kind of liked it (however, no chance of me watching American Idol this year).

My wife likes to sleep in on weekends, and clean the house at odd hours of the night during the week. I like to relax, blog, and practice guitar during the week, get up early on weekends, and complete chores.

Somehow, we still find a common ground, and time to love each other. I guess Paula Abdul was right – Opposites DO attract! I love you, cutie (that’s to my wife – not to you, my fellow bloggers … although I think you are all great in your own ways …).

The Butt-Guys!

This weekend was not like other weekends … no – I had tickets to go to the Penn State vs. Ohio State game in Happy Valley … the game of the year for Nittany Lions fans … and a chance for JoePa’s boys to take on the number one team in the land on national television … sure, they ended up losing, but I got some great stories!

First, since we got the tickets just a few weeks ago, we were unable to get a place to stay in or around State College … normally not a huge issue, except the game was a night game, and there aren’t many hotels to begin with … couple that with our 3-hour ride (that’s without traffic, folks), and it was going to be a looooooonnnnnnnggggg day.

No need to worry, my friend Ivan and I were up for the challenge. We brought some necessities … mainly consisting of beer, and were planning on sleeping in the truck after the game for a few hours, until traffic died down. “Thankfully,” we didn’t have to worry about that, as the Buckeyes were well on their way to kicking our ass by the end of the third quarter … that’s when we ended up leaving, beating traffic, and making it home at a “reasonable” hour … reasonable, as in 2:45 a.m.

However, there were a few more “highlights” to the trip. First and foremost, I ate at a Sonic for the first time ever. This has been a dream of mine since I first saw those goofy commercial about 10 years ago … problem was that Sonic hadn’t made it to Pennsylvania … however, if you are traveling out near Morgantown, a Sonic now awaits you! Let me tell ya something, folks, those burgers were awesome! The fries were very good to … and the selection is top notch! Plus, you get to order AND eat in your car, like a drive-in … very cool! We need one of these a little closer to Philly, darn-it!

As for the game, Ivan secured us some really great seats – right around the 10-yard-line about 30 rows up (this stadium sits 110,000 people, mind you). The weather, which was not-so-good the entire week, cleared up, and the conditions were perfect for football (in my estimation, of course). Just one problem with the tickets …. I was forced to sit next to a guy who apparently was related to a skunk … ladies, and gentlemen, the man stunk … it was as if he had taken a nap with a turd blanket. I swear, this guy must’ve crapped himself on more than one occasion that night … and he swayed like he was Stevie Wonder … I’m not sure he even realized where he was. Folks, I would’ve rather have watched the game in an overused outhouse in the middle of the summer … I thought this guy was going to at some point “share” the alcohol he had consumed for close to 12 hours with me … thankfully, he merely passed out … money well spent!

All in all, it was a great time – except for the game, of course.

P.S. I was able to take a picture of this pile-of-manure-of-a-guy ... however, blogger was uncooperative. I'll try to post this later.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

On Saturday night, the wife and I had the pleasure of going out to dinner with Reverse and his wife. For those not in the know, Reverse is a former co-worker of mine, and still a very good friend. And surprise, surprise – he’s Jewish. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I AM capable of being friends with anyone, even though I am of German heritage (of course, I hate ham, and am not crazy about potatoes … so maybe my parents adopted me, or something.

But, we had a great time, lots of laughs. We went to the Iron Hill in Media for dinner – we didn’t realize that Media was having their Jazz Fest, and the place was crowded. Plus, Iron Hill was still celebrating Oktoberfest, and had these Bavarian flags hanging from the ceiling. It prompted Reverse to say that he wanted to take one of those flags and make a cape out of it, and run through the jazz crowd with it. We then came up with an idea for a new superhero – Bavarian-man! His super-powers would include shooting beer at criminals and intoxicating them. His sidekick would be, “The Brat,” and the main villain would be “The Wurst.” Good times!

We later went to the Town House, and hung out at the bar – very tacky, but so tacky that it was cool. The bar had two huge moose-heads hanging from the wall, and many other items that would’ve made Bennigans jealous. When we left the bar, we swear we walked right by M. Night Shyamalon … I guess it’s possible because he lives in the area. Hopefully, he’ll start creating some good movies again.

Anyway, it was nice to hang with Reverse again – I don’t get to see him, or the others at Lockheed enough anymore.

More "Pillow" Talk

There was a time in my life where I needed total silence to sleep … which was troublesome, considering we lived right near the airport and train tracks. I would never be able to fall asleep when the tv was on, or if music was playing … heck, I had a tough time falling asleep with a fan on.

Funny how things change. NOW, I have a really tough time falling asleep when there is no noise in the background. I toss and turn more than a death-row inmate (does that comparison even make sense?). I, at the very least need some sort of white noise in the background, like a fan … heck, I even have a fan on in the winter-time just for the rhythmic sound.

My wife likes the tv on, and although it takes me a little longer to fall asleep with the tube on, I end up doing so anyway … I will fall asleep rather easily to the news, or any Bob Ross painting show (the guy was hypnotic – he would start off with a white canvass, talking about adding some happy trees to the canvass … I would close my eyes for what seemed like a few seconds, then I’d wake up, and ½ hour had gone by, in this guy just created a masterpiece … I’m not sure if it was his subtle voice, his crazy afro, or a combination of both … best naps I ever had).

Anyway, I’ve given you guys two weird sleeping “fetishes” I have. I wanted to see if you had any to share. C’mon, don’t be nervous!

Pillow Obsession!

Pillow Obsession

I’m pretty easygoing about everything – I don’t really care which kind of soda I’m drinking, I like the shore just as much as I like the mountains, and I’m really willing to drink just about any type of beer. However, there is one quirky thing I need. And that, my friends is down-feather pillows when I sleep. If you must know, I prefer three of them, however, I can make do with one if needed.

Strange, you may say. I agree fully with you. But, that’s just the way it is. When I went to college, I had to pack my down-feather pillows with me. When I sleep over somebody’s house, I HAVE to bring my down-feather pillows. My wife has prevented me from bringing them to hotels, and it bothers the hell out of me … thankfully, many of the hotels in Atlantic City apparently know about me, and make sure that these types of pillows are available when I get there.

I know there are quite a few people out there who probably can’t sleep on down-feather pillows because of allergies. I think the worst thing that could ever happen to me is to develop one of these allergies … I’m not sure how I’d ever be able to get a good night’s sleep again … I’m sure I would look for the help of some good alcohol.

An Important Dilemma!

I guess I first noticed this phenomenon many years ago with my dad, but was reminded of it just recently with a fellow coworker. What could I possibly be talking about? War? UFO’s? Political preferences? No, no, and no. This is something much more important … cereal preferences.

Let me explain … my dad eats corn flakes for breakfast every morning … I know, I know, you are probably asking, “What the hell is so unusual about that?” Let me continue … he pours his cereal into the bowl, adds the milk, and then lets it sit for about 5 minutes or so, to make the flakes soggy. This is how he enjoys his cereal – totally soggy. I thought this was a rather quirky and unique preference, until a coworker of mine told me that he prefers his cereal this way too.

In fact, the coworker went a step further and said that he hates cereal that doesn’t get soggy … you know the kind – Cocoa Puffs, Cap’n Crunch, Kellogs Pops. I was blown away by this. I, by no means play cereal favorites. In fact, I end up buying whatever’s on sale – whether it’s healthy cereal or kids cereal (although, I have to admit, there is no way I’m buying Grape Nuts – I’ve had that before, and it’s like eating gravel).

I’d have to say that I prefer my cereal to stay crunchy, though, so I eat it as soon as I pour the milk on it. I love Raisin Bran cereal, but one of the things I dislike is how quickly the flakes become soggy … it’s kind of like the texture of cold soup.

Anyway, I wanted to see how you guys and gals prefer your cereal. Is there really a split in this nation as to whether cereal should be eaten crunchy or soggy? Help me out on this one!

Good Luck, Ivan!

Today is indeed a sad day for me, for my coworker, we’ll call him “Ivan,” is transitioning to another department. You see, Ivan was my mentor at Vanguard, and a damn good one at that. 10 months ago, when I “came aboard,” he was the guy that took me under his wings, and showed me the ropes. I couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.

It’s always tough when you start a new job – you don’t know anybody, you are unsure if you’ll ever fit in, and you have doubts as to whether you can even do the job. Ivan took care of all of this for me. He immediately helped to immerse me into the department, showed me the ropes, and most importantly, became a good friend.

Sure, we’ll always be friends – we’re going to try to meet up for lunch once a week, and I’m sure we’ll hang out, outside of work from time-to-time. But, I’ll miss having him around the office – being able to go to his desk and ask idiotic questions about stuff I was working on, but most of all just shooting the breeze (no, I’m not gay).

I wish him the best of luck in his new endeavors – he’ll be fine. But, the department he’s leaving will never be the same. Good luck, Ivan!

A Little This, A Little That ...

Just a couple of other items about me because … well, because I can’t think of anything to write about:

Favorite fast food French fry.
This used to be easy for me – McDonalds fries all the way. But, I gotta say, I’m a big fan of the Chick Fil-A waffle fries. Hey, I even like the Arby’s curly fries. At this point, it’s pretty much a dead-heat.

Favorite newer band:
If I had put down my favorite band, this would be far too easy – that would be the Stones. However, I wanted to make it challenging, because that’s the kind of guy I am. I totally love Electric Six – I’ve seen them on a few occasions at the Khyber in Philly (basically an oven). Sure, their third album wasn’t anywhere near as good as their first one, but still. I just downloaded their fourth cd (I-Tunes), and I gotta tell ya, they made a heckuva comeback – I’m halfway through it, and I absolutely love it! They are apparently coming to Philly in November – maybe the Rev and I will go see them again.

Interesting childhood memory:
I remember thinking that any sports team I was on or that I followed was destined to win a championship. Boy, did that theory come crashing down on me. My first tee-ball game, my team lost like 13-0. I remember being so upset and crying hysterically … how could this be happening to me? I had much the same reaction when my sports teams lost. For instance, when the Flyers lost the Stanley Cup to the Islanders in 1980, I remember getting so upset that I actually threw up.

Potato dislike
Shockingly enough, I’m a picky eater. I prefer noodles to any form of potato (with the exception of French fries, but that doesn’t count, really). I get upset at breakfast places that force home fries on me. I would rather have tater tots, fries, or even grits. I consider home fries as a filler, and should be replaced with more eggs and/or bacon. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll eat potatoes, but I really don’t care for them.

Favorite movie growing up:
I gotta tell ya, when I was like 7, I remember seeing a movie in the theatres called “They Call Me Bruce.” I thought this movie was probably the funniest movie that was ever created …. And that the rest of my life would be a waste, because I had already seen the Holy Grail of comedies. About a year ago, I saw a copy of They Call Me Bruce in a Best Buy bin for $5.00. I thought this may be the best money that I would ever spend. I immediately purchased it, and went home to watch it. Ladies and gentlemen, the movie sucked balls. I couldn’t believe that I had just been “Bruced.” By the way, that is a term I came up with after watching this movie. This is any time you go back and watch a movie you loved as a child, and realize it sucks.

King of the Dips**ts

Don’t know how many of you saw this, but a few nights ago at the Yankees vs. Indians game, LeBron James, basketball star for the Cleveland Cavs … and a guy who grew up not far from Cleveland, had a Yankees cap on at the game, and basically said that he hoped the Indians individually do well, but he hoped the Yankees would win. So much for all of that fan-support that you got in Cleveland, Bron-Bron, you front-running imbecile.

You know, I just expect sports players to be a little smarter than that. Even if he HAD grown up in the Bronx, he probably shouldn’t have been wearing that Yankees cap in Cleveland. What a douche-bag. He has even professed to be a Cowboys fan. Seriously, LeBron, is your favorite hockey team the Detroit Red Wings? Do you wish you were playing for the Lakers? If you had a chance to go to college, would you have gone to Duke? Do you change your favorite sports teams every year, depending on who wins?

Man, I used to like this guy. Now, I can’t stand him. You think his agent almost had a heart-attack that night? So much for all of that local advertising Bron-Bron could’ve made this year. I hope he tears both of his ACL tendons in training camp … then we can see him on the sideline with his New York Yankees three-piece suit. Did I mention I think this guy is a douche-bag?

What does he expect from the Cleveland fans now? Does he think they’ll forget about this? Unless he wins this city 3 championships, I’m pretty sure he’ll be about as popular in Cleveland as Jose Mesa and Ernest Byner (look ‘em up). I thought this guy was very mature for his age … now, I don’t think this guy has a clue what maturity means.

What a slap to the face of the entire city of Cleveland. I hope the Tribe sweeps the Bronx Bombers … then, I’d like to see somebody interview this heaping, steaming, pile of LeBron. My guess is that he’ll backpedal faster than a clown on a unicycle.

LeBron, I think I might like you less than Kobe now. Go figure.

Just Like Old Times ... Sorta

Last night, I went to see Van Halen at the Comcast Center … not really a big deal, I guess, especially since I’ve seen them quite a few times in the past. BUT, this time around, Diamond Dave was back leading the band for the first time since 1984, and this was my first opportunity to see them with him fronting the band (I saw them twice with Sammy Hagar, and once with Gary Sharone). Also, instead of Michael Anthony laying the bass down, Eddie Van Halen decided to instead insert his 16-year-old son Wolfgang as the bassist (more on that later).

First, let me say that Eddie Van Halen is by far the greatest guitarist I’ve ever seen. Sure, now he looks more like Skelator (Keith Richards thinks this guy looks bad), but to this day, he still is a wizard with the axe. I’ve seen some of the best – Clapton, Townsend, Angus – but they just can’t compete with this guy.

David Lee Roth’s voice was still very much intact, and let’s face it, even though Sammy did sing some of the Dave songs when he was with Van Halen, nobody does it like Diamond Dave. A couple of things, though – Dave acted more like a lounge singer than the lead vocalist of Van Halen (the one we remember from the videos). Plus, the hair-cut that Dave has, combined with that goofy smile he had, made him look more like Steve Martin’s brother.

Alex Van Halen is amazing behind the drums, and if his brother wasn’t the lead guitarist of Van Halen, Alex would probably get some consideration as being one of the best rock drummers of all-time. That being said, do we really need a 10-minute drum solo from him? Maybe it’s just me.

Wolfgang is no replacement for Michael Anthony. In fact, Wolfgang looked more like Bill Wyman … a fat Bill Wyman … than Eddie’s son. One person described Wolfgang as looking as if he had eaten Michael Anthony (high comedy). Still, one has to understand that the kid is only 16. I mean, I’d probably try to stay out of the way of Dave and Eddie as well. Plus, now that Wolfgang is in the band, he might carry on the Van Halen legacy even long after Dave and Eddie retire or die … kind of like Menudo.

All in all, a great show. Certainly, it was way different than the other Van Halen shows I saw – It’s a totally different band with Dave leading. Plus, they only played Dave songs … the more rockin’ Van Halen tunes.