John Mayer Trio Opening for the Stones? What Gives?

First, I’d like to apologize to all of you John Mayer fans, as this will not be flattering to the young pop-folk star (or whatever he is).

When I heard that the Stones were going on tour again, needless to say, I was quite excited, and of course, happy in my pants. I got even more excited when I heard some of the possible opening bands – Beck, Pear Jam, Metallica? How cool would that be to see any of these three bands? Surely, Philly is an important-enough city for a super-show like this to be planned for.

Then, I read that John Mayer would be opening for the Stones in Philly. The blood rushed from my head, as I tried to comprehend such a terrible choice for an opening band for a Stones show. Were they serious? Would there be a second, more intriguing opening band? Unfortunately, no. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh get Pearl Jam, and Hershey Park gets Beck. What’s with that? Why do these two second-rate towns (sorry, guys) get first-rate opening bands? Why does Philly always get the crap bands? I was obviously pissed.

People told me that John Mayer did a nice job at the show, but I had no motivation to go see the guy. Couldn’t they get Bon Jovi? What was Thorogood doing that night? Hell, even the Hooters woulda been better than Mayer. Why does Philly always get the shaft? I want answers, dammit!