On Second Thought ...

You know how sometimes when you say or do something stupid, it comes back to “haunt” you? It’s called Karma, and I have an “egg-shell-ent” story that demonstrates this “principle.”

To give you a little set-up, I was a freshman at college when this story took place. I had come back home for spring break, and went to a friend’s house for a party – kind of a chance for all of us high school and neighborhood buddies to get back together and catch up. Well, since this friend had a sister who was one year younger than us, she invited some of her friends to the party … of course these friends were still in high school.

I was standing around a pool table in the basement, when this one girl who I knew but never talked to came up to me. We started chatting a little bit, when out of nowhere she starts talking about all these wild sex stories, even mentioning to me that she would never pass up a good f*ck. Naturally, I found this story quite interesting, but felt she was all talk. I decided to go upstairs and watch some of the Flyers game. Shockingly enough, she followed me upstairs, then started going around all the rooms of the house. She then came back and informed me that it was a shame that all the rooms were taken because she was hoping to give me the best “hummer” of my life. Never one to pass up an opportunity, I pulled my car keys out, and she immediately took me to my car. I won’t go into any details, but let’s just say it was a good start to the spring break.

Fast forward to the end of the semester. I come home from school, and go back to work at the pet shop that I had been working at for a few years prior to college. A coworker mentioned that he took this same girl to his prom a few weeks ago, and that she was absolutely wild and crazy. I have trouble passing up on opportunities for a good joke – so I told him that I heard she may have some sort of disease, and that he really should get himself checked out. He got all nervous and sweaty, and asked me questions about this … and of course I was very vague about the answers I gave. Sadly, I forgot to let him off the hook at the end of the night, which prompted him to go to school the next morning and confront her.

He basically asked if she was in good health. She got very defensive and made (understandably), and she asked who he heard this from. He said he didn’t want to give up his source, so she started going through a list of names. When she got to my name, he nodded … what a guy. Later that night, she came to the pet-shop, and motioned me over. I immediately thought to myself that she wanted another round of “Vitamin K.” So, I went over. She asked me to come closer, which I obligingly did, thinking that she wanted me to plant a kiss on her right then and there. Unfortunately, that was not her desire. Instead, she planted an egg on the top of my head. As I was picking the egg shells and gunk out of my hair, she took off – I stood there yelling something stupid to the effect of, “And stay out!” I guess the “yolk” was on me.

I hope we all learned a lesson here.