You Won a Gold Medal in What???

Last weekend, I went over my friend Ray-Ray’s place – his fiance’s bridal shower was going on, and the guys decided to hang out, goof around, drink a little, and most importantly, avoid the shower. First item on the agenda was to go out and get some lunch – we chose a bar down the street from his “crib,” a crab-shack/bar.

We were immediately overwhelmed by the wafting seafood odor, similar to the stench one is overwhelmed with when entering Lou Turks (inside joke for those of you who live in Delaware County). Other than that, the bar was quaint, and filled with many toothless red-necks who were eagerly awaiting the upcoming NASCAR race.

On the big screen in the center, the Olympics was on … but not the good Olympics - you know, the one featuring women’s beach volleyball, basketball, baseball, or soccer. No, instead, we were saddled with watching women’s trampolines. Seriously, women’s trampolines??? How the hell did this become an Olympic sport anyway? I mean, the Olympics is getting rid of baseball and softball, yet they keep trampolines, synchronized diving, and badminton???

Why not add other summer barbecue sports like cornhole, lawn darts, and horse-shoes? Seriously – that way, when parents have picnics and barbecues in the summer, they can gauge how well little Joey is doing throwing the plastic shoes. Should waffle ball or pool volleyball be added. If there’s a protocol, or an application process, what is it? I’d like to add shuffle ball to the list. Maybe we could add hot-dog eating, or a belly-flop contest. Who wouldn’t watch those?

You know, if Guiness got smart, they could hold a “Guiness Book of World Records” Olympics every 4 years – I’m pretty sure that MTV or E would totally be on board.