Wacky News Stories

Time for one of the greatest times of the year ... fantasy football season!!!!

1. On a Seattle man facing assault charges on allegations that he exposed himself to a Radio Shack clerk, brandished a knife and threatened to expose the man to flesh-eating bacteria:
"This is not a penis, it's actually an alien."
http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/218046.asp

2. On a man fending off a polar bear with a punch to the nose:
"Sounds like a new Chuck Norris movie to me."
http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/847677--man-fends-off-polar-bear-with-punch-to-the-nose

3. On a man fatally shooting his girlfriend while discussing gun safety with her:
"Whatever you do, make sure you look into barrel of the gun first whilst pulling the trigger ... trust me, I'm a professional!"
http://www.azfamily.com/news/local/Mesa-woman-shot-killed-while-discussing-gun-safety-with-boyfriend-100657509.html

4. On a man being arrested Thursday for allegedly using fireworks to set fire to his girlfriend's house:
"But you said you wanted more fireworks in our life!"
http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/gwinnett-man-admits-setting-591418.html

5. On San Francisco trying to ban the Happy Meal:
"Isn't that kind of like Germany banning the Bratwurst?"
http://www.csmonitor.com/Money/new-economy/2010/0813/Happy-Meals-Does-McDonald-s-lure-kids-unfairly