Wacky News Stories

Road House is just an awesome movie. Where else can the following quote - "You're too stupid to have a good time" - work so well?

1. On Washington DC having the most accident-prone drivers of any U.S. city for the third straight year, according to Allstate Corp:
"I'm wondering if this has anything to do with the high concentration of politicians living in and around said area ..."
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-09-02/washington-leads-u-s-cities-in-vehicle-accidents-followed-by-baltimore.html

2. On a French teacher being suspended for spending too much time teaching about the Holocaust:
"He should've known better after accepting the teaching position at the Josef Goebels School."
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/09/02/french-teacher-suspected-spending-time-teaching-holocaust/?test=latestnews

3. On a beer truck crashing in California:
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/localnews/ci_15971910

4. On a couple getting married inside Walmart:
"I'm going to take a wild guess on where they had their wedding registry ...."
http://consumerist.com/2010/09/couple-marries-inside-walmart.html

5. On new research from the University of New Hampshire showing that the "gateway effect" of marijuana - that teenagers who use marijuana are more likely to move on to harder illicit drugs as young adults - is overblown:
"Dude!"
http://www.physorg.com/news202619339.html