Wacky News Stories

We've gotten so much rain around in the past month, that I've begun to grow webbed feet ...

1. On a man being in a critical condition after being shot in the head with a potato gun in a forest:
"According to sources, his brain is a littled 'mashed...' - a-thank-ya!"
http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/man-critical-after-potato-gun-discharges/story-e6frfku0-1226043645734

2. On a retired bus driver who loved comic books dying in a house fire that virtually gutted his modest home ... except for his comic book collection:
"My guess is that he probably didn't have a wife ..."
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379697/Comic-book-collection-worth-millions-thing-survive-rips-enthusiasts-home.html?ITO=1490

3. On a substitute teacher who was arrested for drinking at school ... police found a bottle of Grey Goose in her drawer:
"Hic ... now, who in here wants to learn how to add using shot glasses ... hic!"
http://www.fox8.com/news/wjw-news-westlake-high-school-drunken-teacher-arrested,0,5326128.story


4. On a man who ran into a school because he had to evacuate his bowels causing an entire school evacuation:
"Wow ... that must've been one heckuva growler!"
http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-jefferson-co-elementary-school-evacuated-20110421,0,2604250.story

5. On beavers being blamed for Harrisburg water snafu:
"This sounds like a plot in a porno ..."
http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/04/report_beavers_blamed_for_harr.html