Memorial Day Inga-isms.

Since it is Memorial Day, I wanted to give you a post, but I’m once again too busy to make a significant one, so once again, I’m borrowing from my old website. As some of you may know, my parents were originally from Germany. They’ve been in this country for approximately 50 years. Both still have very strong German accents. Thankfully, my dad is good with the grammar. My mom, however, has never gotten true hold of it (the language, you pervs). I call her language miscues as “Inga-isms.” Here is a sampling:

1. Kal's in the toilet. The grand-daddy of them all! My mom used this phrase when I was in the bathroom and can't get to the phone. She has ruined many a date for me in the past.
2. Kal, do the jellybeans bite? Mom used this one when we were in Myrtle Beach, in the ocean. My response was, "The red ones are a little spicy."
3. Kal's in the basement, making exercise. This is what I'm doing when I should be working out.
4. Kal, the smoke detector is empty. Well, fill it back up with smoke!
5. Kal, enjoy the boys. This is what she would tell me when I went to the bars … and no, I’m not gay.
6. Kal, would you like some warm chocolate milk? Hot Chocolate never sounded so good!
7. Kal, will there be any stripers at the bachelor party? Mom wanting to know what kind of fish there will be.
8. No, I'm sorry. Kal's in Sue. My mom telling a friend I was over at Sue's house.
9. Kal, is the ocean big? Not so big this time of year.
10. Kal, did you hear about the Amtrak scare? No, but I did hear about the Anthrax scare.
11. Kal, you should put silicone on your sunburn. That way I could increase it's size.