So, I’ve neglected my quote list … “what quote list?” you may be asking … Well, ever since college, I’ve been keeping a quote list – which is comprised of the funniest and/or stupidest (is that even a word?) quotes I’ve ever heard. Barbara Peapod actually listed a few of them a few weeks ago, and it motivated me to start keeping track of stupid quotes again. I was just going through the list again … and I’m having trouble breathing I’m laughing so hard. I’m going to throw out 10 funny quotes and few thoughts about each of these. Hopefully, you’ll find the humor in them as well. Oh, and if you’re interested in looking over all of them, you can find them here: http://losrulz.tripod.com/

1. "Hey Big Oren, where's the chicken?" – This was a gem from Mung, one of my college roommates. We were in Cleveland last Spring, and we were stumbling out of a bar. Mung, as usual, was hungry, and immediately assumed the closest passerby (a) was named Oren, and (b) knew where we could find some good chicken.

2. What's your favorite Italian food?" "French Bread." – My wife, Schue, and I were having a conversation about Italian food. I had mentioned that I’m not a big fan of Italian food. This is when she asked me this question.

3. “Just because he looks like Mrs. Doubtfire, doesn’t mean Smokin’ can clean like her.” – My friend Ray-Ray commenting on the Rev’s house.

4. "A funny odor? What, did a clown fart?" – My friend Ink came up with this beauty. Now, when anybody says they smell something funny, I picture Krusty lifting his leg.”

5. "I have a math party to go to." "I hope they are serving pi." – My friend Walt is a math teacher. He mentioned that he had a math party to go to. I love puns and couldn’t resist.

6. "I forgot my belt today. Thank goodness I'm fat." – Hey, what good are you if you can’t make fun of yourself?

7. "The French are tampons ... stuck-up p*ssies." – My friend Rob came up with this zinger … well, I’m not sure if he was the first to ever utter these words, but it’s the first time I’VE ever heard it.

8. "All this talk about death is making me hungry." – We were having this intense talk about death right before lunch this one time …

9. "I'm so white, I create problems on dance floors." – Unless, of course, they are playing a Rolling Stones song.

10. "Gimme the Glug, the Skog and the Unk." – Mung talking about shopping at Ikea.