So the beef-n-beer benefit was a great success this weekend – I’m guessing there were probably 250+ people there, and I knew quite a few of them … in fact, it was sort of like a high school reunion … It was great to reconnect with many of my high school classmates, and catch up on what’s been going on the last 15+ years … and the food was fantastic too … all for a great cause! There were great silent auction items, as well as raffle prizes … sadly, my luck continued that night, not even getting close to winning … again, all for a good cause, though.
I did, however, have a not-so-great experience with someone who used to be one of my best friends … I’m not going to mention names, because I’m guessing some of the readers know him. I’m still shaking my head knowing that in a span of 5 years, the guy went from being in my wedding to someone who really could care less that I exist … the guy seemed to be able to change friends quicker than a hermit crab changes shells (yeah, there’s probably a better comparison than that, but oh well). Sure, there was a rough patch, and it’s would take too long to explain … but the bottom line is that I really value my close friends, and will do anything for them … and I intend on being close friends with my “inner circle” for the duration. And, if you know my friends, I’ve been friends with them forever … it’s just the way things work with me.
However, with this particular guy, he ended up finding a new set of friends, and turned our friendship off like it was a light switch. Look, sometimes people grow apart … it just happens. But to totally treat me as if I was a stranger – that’s just something I never would’ve expected from him. I thought he was better than that – most of my friends have stronger moral character. And if the guy had a problem with me, I would’ve hoped he’d feel comfortable picking up the phone or stopping by and talking to me. For a while, I tried contacting him, but just felt the huge blow-off (and no, I’m not a scorned ex-girlfriend, so shut up!). I guess some situations you go through will reveal who your true friends really are.
Here’s the thing – in my mind, if you are a close friend, or you are connected with a close friend in some way (and this has unfortunately happened a couple to times to me or people I know recently), you sometimes need to swallow your pride, and do what’s best for everybody. You can’t let petty issues get in the way – if you have a problem, be the bigger person and talk it out. Don’t let things like politics, religion, or other stuff get in the way … sometimes you’re a bigger person if you address the situation and forgive (I know it’s vague – it’s meant to be).
Sorry for the cryptic-sounding blog ... I needed an outlet to release the frustration.
Passing The Baton
10 months ago
14 comments:
I know I missed you at the end of the night. I was looking for you to say goodbye and they told me you left already. It was a big place. I understood.
I'm not sure who you're talking about, but you can talk to me off the blog about it later.
I'm that guy ... the guy that loves wearing funny t-shirts ... I'm guessing this isn't so cool, is it?
HA! It's cool, if you say it's cool!
good that you got it off your chest... now move on! there are plenty of other wingmen (or buddies, etc.) in the sea.
My college roommate Chuck used to complain that our roommate John disappeared once we all moved to Philly after school. Then, about a year after being a groomsman in Chuck's wedding, I never heard from him again. He stopped taking my calls, emails, Christmas cards, etc. Absolutely no idea why. He did to me exactly what he thought John did to him.
If someone doesn't want to be your friend, there's only so much you can do about it. At some point, it becomes his loss, not yours.
His loss mate.
Lost touch with my best buddy about 24 years ago. He got the hump about some'at. Dunno what.
He contacted me through Friends Reunited and we're getting together later in the year. Maybe he'll tell me why I pissed him off maybe not.
You know me. DILLIGAF?
email me the name and address
do you want me to "scare" him or "SCARE" him?
I totally agree with you and that situation sucks. I've been there though and in the end, you keep the ones that are good closest to you. You probably enjoyed some of the times you had with him or anyone else who acted that way. Good, now on to better times.
So I just read the post... yeah... wrong one to comment on from a relay comment. Opps! Oh well.
So about THIS post. I think you said it well... not knowing you, the vagueness (is that a word) didn't come into play and I could relate. Isn't friendship by it's very fiber supposed to be a relationship that rejoices in differences and unconditionally forgives for the sake of the bond? I'm that way. I guess there are other who aren't. But they're not my friends.
His HUGE loss, my friend. That's strange and only he knows the reason why it turned out that way, but that's the kind of thing you have to get over and focus that energy into the ones that are close to you and you care about right now. It is possible that it will come back around and you two will be friends again some day, but for now hang with us, Los!!!
I was talking about this same exact same scenario with my brother in law. His best man was his best friend throughout high school and after and now they never talk. Sad really, when things have to go down like that.
as a sidenote, if you'll let me keep Mike's Hard as a snack I'll let you have your Jager...I'm surprised no one else has called me out on that.
My best friend from college one day just ended things. No reason. No excuse. She just disappeared and made it clear to leave it be. I never fully understood that scenario. But I agree with MiniJonB - there are plenty of other wingmen in the sea. And the ones who are TRUE wingmen, see it through thick and thin.
Rev - Always up for hangin' out and talkin', Rev.
Alaina - OK, then I'm REALLY cool!
Minijonb - Good advice ... I need to stop worrying about things I can't control.
Jeff - I know ... I hear ya.
Street Preach - Of course I know you! Diligaf ... Drunk Punk ... Dinners ... etc.!
ElP - Nah, no need to scare him ...
Scargosun - The thing was, I thought that he WAS one of those close friends who would be my friend for the duration .... that's what sucks about it.
Alaina - Two posts??? I think that's what the definition of friend should be, right?
-B- - Yeah, his loss ... I don't need any phony friends.
Kathy - I would consider beer a snack, but it's really more like a meal, isn't it?
Paige - I hear ya (and Minijonb), and I agree. It just sucks ... I'm like toenail fungus with friends ... I won't go away ... unfortunately, not eveyrone's like that.
I believe I'm the one that this blog was directed to, as a matter of fact I know I am, and if you'd like to here my response come read it at http://mytwocents-serenitynow.blogspot.com/
sent you an email, not sure if I had the right address. let me know
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