Out of my Element!

As some of you may already know, I’m by no means a wine connoisseur. In fact, you could probably piss in a glass, and tell me it’s good wine … actually, not entirely true, but you get the idea. And even though I love most music, when it comes to jazz, I’m more or less at a loss. Why am I telling you this? Because this past weekend, I had the pleasure of going to a wine and jazz festival at Longwood Gardens with a few friends. Sure, I’d probably feel more at home attending a beer and rock festival, but I digress …

We arrived at the venue around 12 noon … which is normally ok, except for the fact that we played cards the night before (and into the morning) … We come up to the festival area, passing through some really nice gardens (If you’ve never been to Longwood Gardens, and you live in the Philadelphia area, you really should take a trip), and are each given a glass, as well as one of those amusement park bracelets.

I won’t bore you with all the details, but give you some highlights. There were about 20 wineries, most of them very local, as well as some food areas (are you allowed to call them restaurants if they are serving food in a tent?). In the center, there was a stage which was occupied by local jazz bands throughout the day … they provided good background music (I’m not sure how good they were, as my jazz ‘pallet’ is on the immature side).

I sampled a lot of wine, and a good variety – merlot, pinot gris, pinot grigio, cabernet, Riesling, and even a chocolate wine (which was disgusting). My favorites were the cabernets and the Rieslings … these are pretty much on opposite sides of the wine spectrum, which I guess is ok, right? The wine, combined with a sunny, humid day, made for an interesting afternoon.

My friend’s aunt began talking about family when she blurted out this gem: “We’re all like family here … like the grass that surrounds your feet!” I paused for a second, trying to digest this literary train-wreck … finally, I couldn’t take it anymore – I finally asked her what the hell that means. She finally came clean and said she had no idea, and it must’ve been the wine talking. I referred to her as “Aunt Grass” the rest of the afternoon and evening.

One other note – most of the people at the wine festival were cool, but there were quite a few “snooty” people, who made fun of the “amateurs,” and turned their noses up at us. I try not to wish harm on anybody, but I really hope these snobs have a good fall off their high horses at some point … if you’re gonna be a jerk, why not stay home, locked in your wine cellars – even though the festival was outdoors, we really didn’t need the stuffy atmosphere you brought along.
After the wine tasting, we went home and watched the Flyers knock out the Canadians in hockey … quite a great way to end a surprisingly fun day.