Song of the Week

As my wife and I were driving home from outlet shopping in Rehoboth, Delaware, a song came on the radio that immediately whisked me back in time ... to a time when I was a middle-school student ... an awkward one at that ... at one of our middle-school dances in the gym of my school. The song - Careless Whisper by Wham (not that awful remake that's currently polluting our airwaves).

Sure, the song is certainly effeminate, and probably brings in to question the sexual orientation of any male who enjoys it, but I digress ... The memories from middle school dances are what I'm focusing on.

Man, the stress anytime a slow song was being played. "Who should I ask to dance?" "Do you think she'll say yes if I ask her?" "God, I hope THAT girl doesn't ask me to dance! It could ruin my street-cred." Some of these thoughts were going through my head as I sat at one of the cafeteria tables in the back corner of the gym, enjoying my orange drink and chocolate chip cookie, trying to think up new diarrhea jokes with my other dorky friends.

There were really only about 10 girls you wanted to slow dance with, and if you hesitated even for just a few seconds, they were taken. Folks, I'm telling you, it was a super-stressful time. Songs like Careless Whisper, One More Night, and the king of all slow songs - Stairway to Heaven. If you could score a slow dance during Stairway to Heaven with one of the hot girls, you were the talk of the Middle School. That song was like 8 or 9 minutes. When the song was over, you'd strut off the dance floor, into the cafeteria, and get yourself another well-earned cup of orange drink whilst high-fiving your friends.

Ah, the memories!