4th of July Weekend

Wow, what an exiting 4th of July weekend we had – it’s a shame it went by so quickly! I spent a good portion of Thursday night and Friday preparing wings and ribs for my brother’s barbecue/party on Friday afternoon/evening. The weather was great for the first few hours, but we ended up getting some rain on-and-off throughout the evening/night. We still managed to have fun.

The party was a good mix of family and friends, with a noticeable exception of one family member who seems to miss every get-together. Hey – his loss, right? My brother was a cooking machine that afternoon – I’m not sure how many hot dogs and burgers he cooked, but with nearly 60 people at the barbecue, I’m guessing it was a lot.

As the night moved on (and the rain became more steady), we moved the party inside, and of course the guys went to the basement and the girls sat in the living room. We ended up doing more drinking, and I think we’ve already come up with a DBT t-shirt idea for 2009, and a possible theme for this year’s Halloween party. Heck, if we would’ve drank a little more, maybe we could’ve solved the global warming crisis.

On Saturday, my friend Rich and his wife invited us to a barbecue at their house – which is on the fringes of Amish country in Philadelphia. It’s a bit of a ride, but we always seem to have a good time – this day/night was no exception. Again, more burgers and dogs, and Rich made some fantastic ribs as well.

It started off a little slow – I was still trying to shake off a headache/hangover from the previous night’s party. After drinking a few bottles of water and ingesting some food, I started feeling better. I decided to have a little “hair of the dog that bit me,” and the headache was gone. We threw horse-shoes for about 3 hours or so – I’d probably throw horse-shoes every day if I could (that’s why I continue to buy lottery tickets).

Our friend Brian should up with about $500-700 in fireworks, as well as some platforms he built for said fireworks. The man set this stuff up like he had a blueprint on how to do this. At one point, he asked me if I was a pyromaniac. My response was silence. He organized us and the fireworks into stations – he had a master plan and he was making sure we wouldn’t screw it up.

You know how to figure out if a man is serious about his fireworks? There are a number of ways – first, if the man is on a first-name basis with a fireworks shop in Elkton, Maryland, he might be serious. Second, if said man brings blow torches to light said fireworks, it’s probably become more than a hobby. Third, if said man builds fireworks launching platforms with hinges, he’s the real McCoy.

With all that being said, the fireworks display was amazing – it certainly rivaled many towns’ fireworks nights. I got to light some of these big fireworks, and let me tell ya – I can easily see how somebody could get into this. I think we had fireworks going non-stop for about 20 minutes – and the Amish were probably cursing us to high heavens. Oh well, all in a night’s work, I guess. Looks like I’ll have to buy some fireworks on the way to/back from the Outer Banks …

Baseball Outside of Philly????

Thanks to my college roommate, Mung, I have now had the opportunity to watch a Major League Baseball game in 4 cities – Philly, Cleveland, Baltimore, and DC (in looking at this, it’s not exactly the hub of major league baseball, but still). Last Sunday, Mung invited me down to take in a game in D.C. pitting the Nationals against the Orioles … they dub it the “Beltway Brawl.” I guess they’ve gotta market it somehow, considering neither team is much of a threat to reach the post-season anytime soon.

Anyway, I left my house (near Philly) at around 8:30 a.m., and amazingly made it to Mung’s house in Baltimore in less than 1 hour and 15 minutes (personal record). Mung’s wife was nice enough to drive us to the train station, so that we could get inebriated prior to the game. We settled on a place named “Clyde’s” in the heart of the restaurant/bar district in D.C. I enjoyed a few Yuengling’s and a Roast Beef Au Jus sandwich – Mung had some Mad Hat brews and a Buffalo Chicken sandwich. We chatted for a while, mainly making fun of the bartender. By the way, the Sunday morning bar tenders in the summertime are “chosen” because they aren’t very good, and this guy was no exception. He was telling customers jokes, but (a) the jokes sucked, and (b) his delivery was worse. We really couldn’t wait to get outta there.

We go back on the Metro to Navy Street – this is where the new stadium is located. Mung was amazed how how unrecognizable the place was – he had taken in a concert there a few years ago. All the dreck has been replaced by office buildings. The stadium itself was nice – a little on the non-descript side, but still nice. Food and drinks were overpriced (even more than Philly), and the Teddy Roosevelt mascot got to be kind of annoying (although the DC fans seem to LOVE him).

We had fantastic seats – first row in left-field, about 6 seats away from the foul pole. The only “slight” problem was that the temperature had gotten dangerously close to that of the surface of the sun, and the humidity was about 800%. I was sweating so much by the third inning, I was sitting in my own puddle. I got to the point that I was hoping somebody would either throw a bucket of ice water on me, or fill me full of lead.

We ended up watching the remaining few innings in the “Red Porch” bar – truthfully, it looked more like the snack bar at a local public pool. We watched the baseball game as well as the soccer game (damn those Germans!). Then, we took the Metro back to the bar area, and watched the second half of the soccer game at a bar called Fado’s – nice Irish bar, with the exception of all of the Spanish soccer fans. Do that many people really hate us Germans?

Anyway, we finished our beers, and got on the train back home – weary, tired, and a little buzzed still. When we reached Baltimore, Mung was happy to be home … I was saddened that I still had an hour-plus ride home. I ended up making it home around 9:00 p.m. – a long, but fun day indeed. Sadly, work beckoned on Monday … sigh.



D.C. Stadium ... Nice, but nothing to write (or blog) home about.


Teddy's gotta be rolling over in his grave, doesn't he?

Family Trip to Fortescue!

Beautiful morning at Fortescue!

Every year, my family (usually my cousin Trish and her husband, Neffer) plan a family bay fishing trip to Fortescue, “The Weakfish Capital of the World.” Sadly, Fortescue really hasn’t lived up to that reputation for at least 20 years, but still. We usually get about 10+12 family members and close friends to go on this trip, and usually catch something – whether it’s bluefish, flounder, sharks, skates, or sea bass – hey, like the old saying goes, “A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work.”

Last year, we didn’t have quite as good of a time – the boat we normally take was kind of crowded, and filled with some questionable individuals (a.k.a., jerks). We decided that this year, we would actually charter the boat, which means, only my family and friends would be going on the boat – we hoped this would increase the amount of fish we would catch.

Just to backtrack a little bit, Fortescue sits on the Delaware Bay-side of New Jersey – not too far from the inlet. Many, many years ago, this was THE place to fish in New Jersey – my dad told me stories of packing the cooler with 30 or more fish, and having to actually throw back a bunch. He said, they were catching so many fish that he actually stopped fishing, because he was getting bored. I find that very hard to believe, as I’ve never experienced getting tired of catching fish.

The bay has been overfished, and with commercial fishing boats scouring the area, the fishing is nowhere near as good as it used to be. Still, we’ve had some moderately successful fishing trips in the past. We’ve done pretty well with flounder and bluefish, and on a few occasions, croaker and sea bass. Once in a blue moon (great beer, by the way), we’ll catch a stray weakfish (many of you may call them sea-trout), but usually, they aren’t keeper size.

Currently, the keeper size for flounder is 18 inches – this is a huge fish, by the way. I’d be VERY disappointed if I got a 17 ½ incher, and had to throw it back. Keeper weakfish go at about 13 inches, and bluefish, you can basically keep any size.

It was a beautifuly day on the bay, and even though we didn't "kill," we did pretty well. Sure, we only caught one keeper flounder - my brother hauled in a 21 incher (the captain hooked into one about that size, too), we had decent action all day. We also ran into a few bluefish schools, and were able to pull out around 20 or so. But, hanging out with close family and friends is always a good thing, and more than makes up for some slow fishing. I had a blast, and can't wait to do it again!

Enjoy some of the pics!

Since I started blogging about 3 years ago, I’ve found many great reasons to enjoy blogging. First, I’ve found some very creative and funny bloggers. I enjoy catching up on each of their lives, or just laughing at their funny posts. Second, I’ve discovered that I enjoy writing (blogging) – sure, I’m not a great writer, but that doesn’t stop me from blogging. Third, I find blogging relaxing and a great stress reliever, sometimes. I can blog about what’s on my mind, or situations that I’m going through, and get encouragement from my “blogging neighborhood). Which leads me into the discovery of another reason I enjoy blogging.

About a month ago (or more), I posted a blog about a person I used to be best friends with, and how we had a falling out about 5 years ago. We became friends working at the same pet shop when we were in high school, and ended becoming like brothers. Sadly, things fell apart between us, and things only got worse over time. You can read my post here (scroll about half-way down to the “Just something I need to get off my chest” posting) to get caught up on it.

I had no idea that this person even knew about my blog, let alone read it. I figured he’d probably put all of this crap behind him and moved on with his life – which probably got me even more pissed off (I couldn’t figure out how he could do this). Surprisingly enough (at least to me), he indeed read my blog, and created his own blog to respond to mine – you can find it here: Serenity. Please, if you take the time to read the blog, make sure to read my response to it.

He posted on my blog so that I could find his, and I was amazed. First, I was amazed that somebody would actually created a blog in response to something I wrote – like I said, I didn’t expect him to read it, let alone give a rat’s ass about what I had to say. Obviously, he still valued the friendship we had, enough to go out of his way to do this.

In reading his blog, I realized something … actually, I realized a lot of things. First, and foremost, I realized how different two people’s “truths” can be. I saw one side of a situation, yet he saw another. Here’s something else I realized – if you don’t confront something or someone and let things go, sometimes these things can go horribly wrong. Both of us probably should’ve sat down and talked about things IMMEDIATELY. We didn’t, and lost 5 years of friendship.

Back to his blog. I read it, and even though I was very upset with some of the things he wrote about me, I realized that he had a very different view of what happened. You see, this is what happens to stubborn people like me and him. I thought my viewpoint was gospel, and he did the same. The thing that really kills me is that we were far too good of friends to let something like the Tennessee incident (and other subsequent situations) end our friendship … but somehow, it did … until now.

After I posted my response to his blog, we began to communicate by e-mail, attempting to maybe salvage anything that may have been left of our friendship. We worked through a lot of the crap that had unfortunately grown over the years. We began calling each other (and no, we’re not gay) … and you know what – I’m am genuinely surprised (and extremely happy) that we’ve been able to begin rebuilding our friendship. It’s like an empty part of my heart has been filled again (again, I’m not gay). Once, I was able removed the stubbornness and rage that I had, I realized how much I missed his and his wife’s friendship. They meant the world to me back in the day, and I let something stupid get in the way. Nick, I will never let that happen again – I promise.

Have No Fear ...

I’ve always related to the underdog, ever since I can remember. Maybe it’s a product of growing up in a city where my professional sports teams are always considered the underdogs. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t the best soccer player growing up, or maybe it was because I wasn’t the tallest kid in my class (actually, much closer to the smallest). I’m sure both of these, along with many other untold “influences” always made me root for the underdog.

There was always a part of me that wanted to see the coyote catch the road-runner. He put in so much time and effort, and always came up short. This was also how I felt about Tom and Jerry. Just for once, I’d like to see that stupid cat catch that smart-alecky mouse. Tom always seemed to get the short-end of the stick.

Heck, I even let this tip over to cereal commercials. I was genuinely pissed that the Leprechaun could never get away from those pesky kids in the Lucky Charms commercials. No matter how elaborate his plans were, those brats always found him. Heck, I remember one time he even took a rocket-ship to the moon, and wouldn’t you know it –those kids were already there ready to steal his cereal.

Or, how about that Trix rabbit? Those kids would never share with him, always giving him some kind of lip service, saying “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids.” Oh really? You mean, adults couldn’t even have these? Seriously? Well, since I seem to never forget stupid things, I remember once when the “fine” people at Trix did some sort of contest, asking kids if they wanted to see the rabbit eat Trix. Well, apparently, the response was overwhelming – kids voted that they DID in fact want to see the rabbit eat Trix. Sure enough, the Trix people did a commercial in which the rabbit finally DID get to eat a bowl of Trix … however, they threw everyone a curve-ball, by ending the commercial as if it was a dream – the rabbit actually woke up and realized he did NOT in fact get to eat any Trix. Man, was I pissed!

It even bled into the whole Charmin commercials. Remember Mr. Whipple? I certainly do … and I remember his plight, too. It was his JOB not to let those idiotic shoppers squeeze the Charmin, but those shoppers never, ever listened, and it really pissed me off. How dare those shoppers get in the way and prevent poor Mr. Whipple from doing what he got paid for! And it wasn’t like it was one or two shoppers – it seemed as if EVERYBODY had to squeeze those damn Charmins, seemingly oblivious to the signs that Mr. Whipple placed strategically all around said toilet paper.

Of course, there was really no point to this posting – I just figured I’d share.

Love and Hate

There are certain things of this Earth that I both love and hate at the same time. I was reminded of this whilst cooking some chicken breast on the Foreman Grill. God, I love the ease of cooking on the ol’ Foreman … but I absolutely HATE cleaning that thing. I know, I know – the science wizards have come up with a new Foreman Grill where you can actually take the grilling plates out and throw in the dishwasher … but at this point, I don’t feel like shelling any more money out to Mr. Foreman. Dude, I already have two of your grills – can’t you send me one with those grilling plates free of charge? Seriously!

I love driving my Nissan Altima, but man, do I hate washing and cleaning it. I do a thorough washing, vacuuming, and spray-cleaning the interior around once a month, and the car still looks and smells new … I hate doing it though. But, I feel worse when I don’t … I gotta thank my parents for instilling this German guilt in me.

I thoroughly enjoy the Scunci Steamer we have – it makes cleaning things so much easier. Unfortunately, I hate how fragile this thing is. We’ve had it for about two years, and it’s already broken. I really don’t feel like shelling out another $60 for another Scunci Steamer, but I miss steam cleaning … and no, I’m not gay.

I love weekends, especially in the summer time … but man, do I hate how quickly they go by. Case and point – we had a 3-day weekend this past weekend, but it didn’t really feel any longer than the normal 2-day weekends. I’m half-tempted to stop having fun on weekends just so they last longer … and no, I’m not retarded.

I’m a fan of Jeopardy, even though, for the most part, it makes me feel stupid. But, I really, really don’t like Alex Trebek even a little bit. He seems really pompous to me, and when he pronounces French and Spanish words, it’s like somebody is scratching a chalk board.

Any of you have any “love/hate” things to share?

Stoppage Time ...

• I was saddened by the death of Tim Russert … it’s not that I watched Meet the Press a lot or anything, but he seemed like a guy who was respected by both parties (a rarity). The good news is, if anybody wants to do a movie on Russert, Randy Quaid is a spitting image of the guy.

• I just heard a remake of 99 Red Balloons by another one of these Emo bands/flavors of the week – I think their name is Goldfinger – I normally hate these bands and the remakes they do, but this one was actually pretty creative, considering they used both the German and English lyrics in the song. Sure, it sounded like every other emo song out there, but still …

• Can’t wait for my cell phone contract to expire – less than 1 month, baby! My cell screen is basically a crap-shoot at this point – sometimes I get text, sometimes a white screen … this phone is about to pull a “Russert” on me … wait, is it to soon? I think we’ve narrowed the selection to staying with AT&T or going to Verizon … I really like that Verizon Glide cell phone.

• Tiger Woods won the U.S. Open, basically doing so with only one working knee … this guy is not only the best golfer ever, but he may end up dominating a sport like nobody else has ever done … but still, I’m getting sick of him. I think he’s becoming really arrogant … not that he has any reason not to (wait, is that a double-negative) – I mean, he has close to a Kajillion dollars, the second hottest wife ever (of course, my wife is the hottest), and an amazing house. He probably shits arrogance. Of course, I’m also always rooting for the underdog – like when I used to watch Wide World of Sports and would always root for Minnesota Fats to upset Willie Mosconi in billiards, but I digress …

• My friend Anthony got married this weekend, and despite the circumstances (read previous post) things went very well. It was a very elegant wedding and reception – the food was outstanding, and the weather was great. Everybody pulled together and made sure that Anthony and his family had a great time – I’m proud of everyone there. Schue (my wife) and I actually went down to Atlantic City Thursday night, and got a great room comped at Caesar’s, and really had a great weekend … shame it went by so quickly.

Rest in Peace, Julie

I had a whole other blog lined up today – but it will have to wait. I may have mentioned this before, but a close friend of mine is getting married this Saturday – I’ve known him since I was around 7 years old, and we’ve been close friends ever since. I was honored when he asked me to be in his wedding, and couldn’t wait for it – it promised to be a good time.

Sadly, today, Anthony lost his mom – she finally lost a long, hard battle with emphysema. Anthony texted me the news about ½ hour ago – I nearly threw up on my cell phone. I immediately called him and left a blubbering message, basically telling him I’m here for him if there is anything he needs. I feel sick to my stomach.

I can’t even imagine what he is going through right now, all the extra planning needed prior to the wedding – I’m not even sure what’s going to happen. I’m sure he feels helpless right now. I’m not sure if the viewing and funeral services will be done prior to or after the wedding. If I were in his shoes, I’m not sure how I’d be able to digest all of this right now.

Did I mention, I feel awful? This wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of his life, but how can that possibly happen now? I’ll do everything I possibly can to try and divert his attention, even temporarily, at the wedding. I’m just speechless – I don’t know what to say or do right now. He has great friends and family, and we’ll all help him and his fiancé in any way we can … it’s really all we can do at this point.

Dad ...

Dad, on your special day (no, this is not a Hallmark card ... yet), I wanted to give you thanks for all that you've done for me over the years ... I wanted to point out some specific things (indulge me!):

* Thank you so much for allowing me to watch The Three Stooges and Benny Hill when I was a young child looking for inspiration. My comedic hunger and thirst started then, and the appetite for it continues to grow (my friends probably won't thank you for this).

* Thank you for introducing me to fishing at a very young age - I remember you taking me to Crum Creek and allowing me to cast the line in for the very first time ... unfortunately, I also remember that first cast, and how my lure impacted itself into your jacket ... sure, you were mad, but you showed me how to do it correctly. I've been "hooked" on fishing ever since.

* Thanks for all those barbecues in the back yard, and allowing me to help you baste the chicken, and flip the burgers. Barbecuing is a now a staple in my life, and I'm actually pretty good at it.

* Thanks for fixing all the things I broke (and continue to break). I've never been able to figure out how you do it - it's one of those genes that never got passed on to me, but I appreciate everything. There's nothing that I broke that you couldn't fix.

* Thank you so much for taking an interest in playing sports with me. You allowed me to win just about every soccer game we played in the back yard, and ... well, sure, because of that, I wasn't able to accept losing very well (in fact, I remember crying for about 2 hours after my team lost the first tee ball game I played - I didn't think it was possible!). I have loved playing sports ever since.

* Thanks for introducing me to all the other sports, like baseball, football, basketball, and hockey. My wife probably doesn't thank you for this, because I can't get enough of this on tv. I remember watching the Professional Bowlers Association on ABC, announced by Chris Schenkel, and rooting against those "evil" bowlers like Marshall Hollman and Earl Anthony. I also remember Saturday evenings, and watching "Soccer Made in Germany" announced by Toby Charles ... I loved every minute of it.

* Most of all, thanks for being my dad. I couldn't imagine anyone who was more qualified to be my dad - and you did a great job. I love you, pop.

Now, what????

I’ve been a sports fan for nearly all my life. I’ve avidly followed all 4 major professional sports teams in my city, and even some of the minor ones … and believe me when I say that it’s really tough to be a fan of any of the Philadelphia sports teams, especially considering that none of them have brought the city a championship since 1983 – probably a topic for another blog post.

What I’m really concerned about is the “health” of the “big 4.” Think about it – each of them has had to deal with some sort of hardship or scandal over the past few years.

• Major League Baseball has been wrestling with the steroid/human performance enhancing drug situation – a problem that has jeopardized the integrity of the entire sport, a sport that relies heavily on stats and “magical” legendary numbers. Thanks to such players as Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and even Roger Clemons, not to mention the implicit encouragement by the league in the 1990’s, it’s hard to take the numbers and stats seriously anymore, let alone root for the “big-name” players without openly wondering how long they’ve been juicing up.

• The NFL has been struggling with the whole “Spygate” scandal in recent months, prompting many to wonder out loud if the New England Patriots ever legitimately won their three Super Bowls this decade. A potential government investigation could blow the roof off of this (probably not, though), but fans still have lost some faith in the game.

• Basketball is also dealing with integrity issues, as the NBA is in a struggle with a former basketball referee over an alleged gambling scandal. Just a few days ago, a particularly damaging story surfaced about the possibility of a few playoff games being “fixed” by NBA officials. Thankfully, the Sixers sucked in those years, so it didn’t affect the Philly team as much.

• The NHL emerged from a lockout a few years ago, and chose to sign a contract with a fringe “sports” network that many Americans are unable to even get on their cable systems. The league is dangerously close to becoming irrelevant, and expansion into cities where ice is only found in cold drinks has done its part in eroding the league’s “legendary” status.

Sadly, “sports” like NASCAR and the World Series of Poker have benefitted from this. Heck, even horse racing has grown in popularity in recent years. So, my question is – what needs to be done? Does the government need to take a closer look? Is there room for competition from upstart leagues the answer? Does anybody really care?

DBT Recap

I know there are some of you who are interested in DBT 2K8, and how it went (if we survived). Well, I’m happy to say that for the most part, it was another great success. Some bars really surprised us, while others disappointed … but that’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it?

We started at Trios Cold Cuts – it’s basically a deli that has a pub attached to it. It was actually stroke of genius to start there as (a) they have fantastic food, (b) said food provided a good stomach “lining” in preparation for a day/night of heavy drinking, and (c) the place served beer. Rolling Rock was the choice of yours truly, although I did have my eye on the Olde English.

After finishing our food/drink, we strolled across the street to Hunt’s Annex Lounge. The 3-4 regulars that had started their drinking at noon where none too pleased to see us … I’m guessing the lone bartender probably crapped his pants as well. Nothing really exciting at this place, other than a big fan used by some fat guys to eliminate their body sweat.

Our next stop was the Red Lantern – and we needed to take public transportation for the first time that day. The bar has really cleaned itself up …except for the shoddy bathroom. We played darts and Golden Tee, and then moved onto Uncle Snazzi’s. The place once again got the award for best/worst bar on the tour. No beer on tap, no napkins or food, and warm Jagermeister … that’s right, folks – the bartender gave me a shot after I bought a round of beer for the “team.” It went down like a bucket of nails. Sadly, this wouldn’t be the last shot for me.

We traveled to Dino’s, where I ordered some pretty tasty chicken fingers and fries. Some of the guys were playing quaits … I chose to sit back, watch some sports, and make fun of the other DBT team members.

We went to the Frontier Saloon to watch the horse race … at this point, I had enough alcohol in me not to care about the horses … the good news was that my billiards play had improved. The Milmont Inn was our second-to-last stop …. I thought at this point that my brother would probably not make it to Durty Nelly’s, our last destination … but he sucked it up and continued on.

At Durty Nelly’s, two older women were flirting with “Yon,” and it got pretty funny before it got nasty. Slant and I decided to call him “The Natural.” He shunned the one girl in favor of the other, and all hell broke loose. This one older lady was looking for a hookup, and Yon didn’t take her up on it. She freaked out on him, causing him to change locations at the bar. She then tried to hit on me, calling me “Big Boy.” My wife was there to make sure this “broad” kept her distance, thankfully.

All in all, a good night … not sure of the tally on who, if anyone puked.

My First Job ...

..I’m on a kick about discussing some of my previous jobs (in other words, I have writer’s block). My first real job lasted approximately 10 minutes – We went to this local restaurant for 8th grade graduation (we being me, some friends, and our parents). We – the kids, decided to apply for a job at said restaurant. Later that fall, I received a phone call – a lady from the restaurant informed me that I was hired (as a bus-boy), and that I should come in the next afternoon.

I was pretty excited and nervous at the same time … I was just going into 9th grade, and outside of helping my dad with his tool and dye side work in the garage, I never really did much outside of take the trash out or mow the lawn. I went in dressed in a white buttoned-down shirt and black pants, per the lady’s instructions. I walked in the door, announced to somebody that I was called in to work, and one of the bus-boys began taking me on my tour.

My first question (something I probably should’ve asked prior to accepting the offer) had to do with my hours. For some reason, I figured I’d work from 3-7, or 3-8 … I’m not sure where I came up with that number, but when they told me it was more like 3 to midnight, I almost swallowed my tongue. When the hell was I supposed to do my school work? What about the high school sports teams I wanted to play for? I didn’t let on that I was shocked by the hours, as the bus boy continued showing me around the place.

Basically, he showed me how to clear and set tables, and take the table cloths to the washing machines. It seemed pretty simple, so far. Then, he took me into the kitchen, where I would be dropping off the plates, silverware, and glasses. Maybe it was karma, just bad timing, or a combination of both, but as I walked into the kitchen, I saw one of the “chefs” drop a piece of meet on a really dirty floor (I’m assuming it was accidental), and then pick it up and throw it back on the grill like nothing happened. It made my stomach turn, as this was a restaurant I had enjoyed in the past.

I immediately knew that I would never be able to work there under any circumstances … ever. I told the bus-boy “mentor” that my mom was still outside, and I had to let her know that she could leave. The bus-boy felt that this was a reasonable excuse – instructing me that he would be in the kitchen when I got back.

My mom was still outside all right, but I wasn’t telling her to leave. Instead, I hopped in the car, and told her to drive me home –that the job really wasn’t for me. I think I had a hard time eating dinner that night … I think I may have even asked my mom if the meat had accidentally been dropped.

DBT 2K8

This weekend is a biggee – we celebrate our 4th annual DBT! What is a DBT, you may ask? Well, it is a bar tour/dive – we tell the bartenders of the bars we go to that it is either the “Delco Bar Tour” or the “Drunken Bar Tour,” but truth be known, it is actually the “Dive Bar Tour.” We started this annual adventure humbly 4 years ago – there were around 6 or 7 of us the first year. We took public transportation, Septa to those familiar with the Philadelphia area.

Four years later, we’ve blossomed … to around 10-12 people … ok, ok, maybe not blossomed, but to tell you the truth, the smaller crowd is a pretty cool thing. We still take public transportation, and this year with gas prices rising faster than Lindsay Lohan’s blood-alcohol level in a night club, we’re continuing to do our share to save gas!

The bars are, for the most part, real dives, but all have their own nuances. For instance, the Red Lantern has a Golden Tee machine, and no clientele (which means the bartender can focus on our drunk asses), Uncle Snazzi’s has no beer on tap, and uses napkins from the Wendy’s next door. Dino’s has a shuffle ball table and the men’s room is plastered with pictures of naked women. The Frontier Saloon is the local NASCAR hotspot, and has a picture of an Indian woman that “gets naked” every half hour. The Milmont Inn, or “Milmonster” as we call it, smells like the Tuesday after Mardi Gras in New Orleans all year ‘round. This year, we are adding Hunt’s Annex Lounge to the “tour.” I really don’t know what to say about the bar, except that I think it is cool that it has the word “Annex” in its name.

We tend to give each other nicknames during this bar tour. I’ve been lucky enough to have names such as “The Winner,” “Montgomery F. Blowfish,” and “Spittles.” I hope to add to this illustrious list! Last year, we ended up going back to my place and playing Guitar Hero … not an easy task whilst intoxicated. Then, we went back to another bar, and hung out with some really drunk chicks … one even showed me a “compromising” picture of herself that she took on her cell phone. I nearly lost all the beer I had “accumulated” throughout the day.

Here’s to more good stories and another successful DBT! Wish me luck!

A Missed Opportunity ...

Around 12 years ago, eager to try and get into the sports PR business, I agreed to take an internship with the Philadelphia Eagles (American football team, for those not familiar). I was excited – after-all, this was a team I had enthusiastically followed since being a child. I even ignored the fact that I wouldn’t be getting paid at all – the experience certainly would be worth it … at least for the short-term.

For the most part, I did grunt work – cutting out Eagles stories from the local papers, and faxing the stories to interested stakeholders … of course, this would’ve been much easier, had the internet been as advanced as it is now. I also wrote some stories and press releases which I really enjoyed, and was a liaison between the players and media who wanted to interview said players.

This, of course, meant that I frequently had to interact with the players … something I was initially excited about. However, many of the players didn’t give a damn about me, and quite a few of them were downright rude to me. Some of the main culprits were Ricky Watters (one of the biggest jerks I’ve ever met), and Charlie Garner – who didn’t seem to like anybody, including his own teammates.

After a few months of dealing with some of these divas, I couldn’t wait to get the heck outta there. Dealing with these players was more than a chore at times. However, not all were jerks – in fact, Rodney Peete and Ty Detmer were actually pretty cool to me, as was Michael Zordich, Irving Fryar, and Mike Mamula. But they were really the exceptions to the rule.

Rodney Peete had a holiday party for all players and staff right around Christmas time. By this point, I was so annoyed with the players that I decided not to bother going to this affair, even though I was sure it would be a good time. The Monday morning after the party, I walked into work and noticed that just about everybody had a framed picture of them with none other than Michael Jordan.

I walked by the first desk … it didn’t really faze me … I figured this person had the opportunity to meet him in the past. I walked by the second and third desks … they too had pictures with arguably the greatest basketball player of all time. Now, I was concerned – I hadn’t seen these pictures on the desks before. I asked one of my coworkers, who proudly explained that Jordan had been a guest of William Fuller’s at the party – apparently, the two have remained close friends since their days at North Carolina, and since Jordan was in town to play the Sixers, he agreed to come to the party … and to also have his picture taken with …. EVERYBODY THERE! Yep, leave it to me to miss out on this opportunity. Of course, that just seemed to be my luck when I was interning with the Eagles … how cool would that have been to get a picture with M.J.?

Gettin' Catty ...

My friend Ray-Ray and his wife went to the casinos yesterday – they asked Rich and Anita to babysit their boxer, Merfy. Ray-Ray got this dog off of Craigslist, which still astounds me – he got Merf at about 8-9 months old – apparently, the previous owners got tired of dealing with this hard-headed pup. Don’t get me wrong, Merf is quite a good looking Boxer, but Ray-Ray has his hands full (as an aside, Ray-Ray is very, very good at training dogs – as can be seen by his other Boxer name Steve who is about the nicest, friendliest, and most obedient dog in the entire world).

So, Rich and Anita are babysitting Merfy – and they make an interesting discovery – Merfy HATES cats … unfortunately, Rich and Anita own a cat. Merfy and the cat are in the midst of quite a fight, and Rich bravely steps in to try and separate them … unfortunately, the cat was so crazed by this point that it sunk its teeth into Rich’s arm, sending him on a trip to the emergency room.

Ray-Ray found this out this morning as he came to pick Merfy up … I’m guessing it wasn’t a very pleasant trip for the pup. Ray-Ray was understandably embarrassed by this and feels like crap, but we did get to talking about this – what if this cat bite ended up giving Rich super-human powers? I mean, this is how many comic book characters get their start, right?

What would Rich’s super hero name be – Pussyman, Mr. ‘Cat-ankarous’, The Feline, Kit-Kat, The Persian?

And, what would some of his superpowers be – able to spit radio-active hairballs up to 20 miles, nuclear spraying capabilities, the ability to scratch any villain’s furniture to a pile of string?

Stay tuned! Same Cat time, Same cat channel!

Stoppage Time ...

Since I am stuck for something to blog about, here are some random thoughts:

• So, can it be truly called a bachelor party if there are no strippers involved? I think I’ve been to exactly two bachelor parties that didn’t involve naked or partially naked women … isn’t this really just another night out? What’s the ruling on this? I mean, if a bunch of guys go to Vegas to gamble for a bachelor party, but no strippers are involved in the plans, is this a bachelor party? Shouldn’t there be another name for this … like faux-bachelor party, or the lack-o-balls party? Isn’t this tradition? Your thoughts?
• A new group I’ve been listening to lately – Orson. You can find them on I-Tunes, but probably nowhere else. Really cool sound, nice beat, great Stones-like guitars, and good vocals. I suggest downloading “No Tomorrow,” and then deciding for yourself.
• If you like board games like Balderdash or Scene-It, you really need to try Quip It. Basically, it’s a DVD game in which you and a number of friends (preferably drunk) get together and make up quips and captions to weird photographs, drawings, cartoons, and movie and TV clips, then score points by guessing who wrote which quip. I think alcohol is key to this game – we’ve had hours of laughter … and times in which I thought I was going to hack out my lungs due to too much laughing.
• Had some Hoegarten beer on Saturday night at a local bar … since it’s European, it’s obviously good, but man, what a great summer beer … I’m telling you, this, along with Blue Moon, might take some of my attention away from Corona.
• Ugh, my 36th birthday is rapidly approaching … I’ve gotten to the point now where I have trouble figuring out what I want for my birthday. There was a time not too long ago where I would happily rattle off a number of video games, music, movies, or techie gadgets … now I’m more concerned about getting work clothes … and thus, the transformation into my father continues … HELP!
• Just found out that legendary comedian Harvey Korman passed away … I’ve always loved this guy, from his Carol Burnett days to his nearly flawless job in Blazing Saddles … Hey was the perfect straight-man, someone that people like Phil Hartman probably emulated … of course, the moments when he lost it on the Carol Burnett show just made things even funnier. Check out one of his funny bits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9T8i4FkNVo.

Weird Story

This probably would've lended itself to my old "That's F*cked Up" blog, but I found this quite interesting. Cnn.com had a story yesterday about how some hospital is using military technology and "fairy dust" to grow back someone's finger. My first thought was, "man, Luke Skywalker is probably pissed that he has a robotic hand and didn't wait for this surgery!."

Then, I got to thinking ... Fairy dust? Seriously? Is this what happens when someone sneezes at a gay bar? Just kidding ... but, fairy dust? I mean, c'mon!

On top of that, military intelligence is being used? Oh man, why do I get the feeling that something is definitely going to go wrong with this? This guy is going to grow a gun instead of a finger, isn't he ... and he'll probably drafted into the military and become some sort of robo-soldier, right?

Just so you didn't think I made this up, here's a link to the story:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/05/26/regrowing.body.parts/index.html

Philly Phools - Episode 5

I had a four-day weekend this weekend (can’t believe it’s over already – it felt like only 2 … sigh), and I did plenty of things … some good, some bad … so, with all do respect to Roger Ebert, here is my “Thumbs Up- Thumbs Down” weekend in a nutshell.

Thumbs Up –
· Barbecue and Rich and Nete’s house – sure the place is in the “hinterlands” of Pennsylvania, complete with Amish horses-and-buggies, as well as corn fields as far as the eye can see … but these two know how to throw a barbecue – great ribs, burgers and hot dogs, cold beer, and a perfectly set-up horseshoe pit … what more could one ask for?

· Hangin’ out at local bars – My wife and I hung out at Durty Nelly’s on Friday night, and indulged in some music discussion with a couple of drunkards at the end of the bar … Oh, and Blue Moon was on tap … good stuff in the summer! On Saturday, Slant and I hung out at Barnaby’s (bar), they have a sort-of outside section, which, at the very least, stays kind of cooler and less smoky … plus, Hoegarten drafts for only $2.50.

· Watching Knocked Up … again – Great movie, lots of funny one-liners – one of Judd Appetow’s better flicks.

· The weather – Warm, slight breeze, and no humidity … this was the splendor of Philadelphia this Memorial Day weekend … it would be great to have a few more weeks of this!

· The Harrah’s Casino in Chester – We’re going there later today for dinner and for some light gambling … this is a surprisingly nice gambling parlor (can’t really call it a casino, because there are really only slots there), with a few decent restaurants, and a great view of the waterfront … with gas prices rising faster than Michael Jackson’s manhood at a playground, it’s a nice alternative for us if we get a little bit of the gambling bug.

Thumbs Down –
· Watched Evan Almighty – Even Steve Carell couldn’t save this stinker … what a shame, because the first one (Bruce Almighty) was a pretty entertaining and funny … this one was overproduced, and the humor was lacking worse than an Elaine Boosler stand-up act.

· I had to return my cable box to the RCN (competitor of Comcast) location on 69th Street in Upper Darby … if you’ve ever been there, you were probably either lost, or going to a show at the Tower. The area is super congested, and it’s one of those places where you’d feel better wearing a bullet-proof vest … I survived, thankfully.

· The Stanley Cup finals – I watched some of the first game at a bar on Saturday … I have no rooting interest in either team, and really, dislike both … kind of like this past year’s Super Bowl … I despise Pittsburgh for obvious reasons – mainly cross-state rivalry. I hate Detroit because of the arrogance of calling their city “Hockeytown.” Really? Hockeytown? I’m sure the good cities of Toronto and Montreal might have a problem with that.

Happy Memorial Day!!!!

Memorial Day is upon us – the unofficial start of summertime … one of my favorite four seasons, by the way! So in honor of this momentous occasion, here is a top 10 list of things I enjoy about summertime:

10. Barbecues … seriously, what tastes better than seared flesh on the grill? Dogs, burgers, chicken, steak, ribs … heck, even corn! I love to barbecue, and we try to do it at least once a week in the summertime (preferably, more!).

9. Corona with a lime in it – Sitting out on the deck, late evening, watching the sun make it’s curtain call as the unbearable humidity begins to subside … sometimes, life doesn’t get any better …

8. The beach – Yeah, the sand is hot, and can often irritate as it finds it’s way into the nooks and crannies of our bodies, but it wouldn’t be summer without it … oh yeah, and the little sunburn marks where you couldn’t reach whilst applying the sunblock.

7. Swimming pools and the smell of chlorine – Sure, your eyes get blood-shot, your hair feels like straw, and you smell like a bottle of Clorox, but it’s all worth it, isn’t it?

6. Baseball games – whether it’s on the tv in the mid-afternoon, while you’re reading the paper or napping, or if you’re at the game, enjoying one of those mystery frankfurters, America’s pastime really signifies summer.

5. The air-conditioner – Is there a better feeling than coming into a nicely air-conditioned house after spending hours (or minutes) in the stifling summer humidity? I submit that there is not!

4. Summer storms – They’re violent, soaking, and extremely fun to watch … and heck, the smell of wet asphalt has always been a favorite of mine for some reason.

3. Girls in bikinis – Hey, I’m only human!

2. Hangin’ out with friends at a get-together until late at night, outside! My neighbors probably hate me because of this, but it’s worth it.

1. Less traffic on the road during rush hour – Yeah, it’s boring, but I HATE traffic on my way to work in the morning, and on the way home in the afternoon. With school out, and with people vacationing, my ride to and from work becomes almost enjoyable … ALMOST!

Yet Another Reason Why I'm NOT a Genius ...

After the cryptic post I did last, I figured I’d lighten things up a little … by giving you, the dedicated blog readers, yet another reason why you should never confuse me with a genius. This latest “installment” occurred towards the end of last week. On my ride home from work this past Thursday, I decided to open my moon-roof and take full advantage of the beautiful day that had befallen the Philadelphia area. So far, so good, right?

Well, the next morning, as my wife and I got into the car, I had a realization … I had left the moon-roof open, and as luck would have it, the heavens had opened up with torrential rain earlier in the morning … The inside of my car greeted me with dampness and puddles on the leather seats … as my wife, Schue, described on her blog, the cup-holders were filed with quite a bit of water. After retreating back into the house to snag some towels from the bathroom, I hastily dried the surfaces of everything that had unfortunately been soaked … of course, we had to sit on the towels as we drove into work … dampening our unfortunate tushes.

Sadly, the “luck” didn’t end there. On our way to the beef and beer, a driver pulled up next to us, and beckoned us to roll down the passenger window. The concerned driver informed us that my trunk was open … yes, I had opened the trunk in order to store an umbrella and my work briefcase, as we had guests accompanying us to the event. Of course, I boneheadedly forgot to close the trunk … and yes, it was still raining. Thankfully, it was only a 10-minute drive to the destination.

I guess things could’ve been worse, so I shouldn’t worry or complain about it. But, have any of you had extended periods of brainfarts like this? You know, I’ve done other things like get into the passenger seat, or even better, the back seat of my car when I was the driver … and yes, most of the time, this was when I was completely sober … maybe it’s old age setting in … sigh.

Just something I need to get off my chest ...

So the beef-n-beer benefit was a great success this weekend – I’m guessing there were probably 250+ people there, and I knew quite a few of them … in fact, it was sort of like a high school reunion … It was great to reconnect with many of my high school classmates, and catch up on what’s been going on the last 15+ years … and the food was fantastic too … all for a great cause! There were great silent auction items, as well as raffle prizes … sadly, my luck continued that night, not even getting close to winning … again, all for a good cause, though.

I did, however, have a not-so-great experience with someone who used to be one of my best friends … I’m not going to mention names, because I’m guessing some of the readers know him. I’m still shaking my head knowing that in a span of 5 years, the guy went from being in my wedding to someone who really could care less that I exist … the guy seemed to be able to change friends quicker than a hermit crab changes shells (yeah, there’s probably a better comparison than that, but oh well). Sure, there was a rough patch, and it’s would take too long to explain … but the bottom line is that I really value my close friends, and will do anything for them … and I intend on being close friends with my “inner circle” for the duration. And, if you know my friends, I’ve been friends with them forever … it’s just the way things work with me.

However, with this particular guy, he ended up finding a new set of friends, and turned our friendship off like it was a light switch. Look, sometimes people grow apart … it just happens. But to totally treat me as if I was a stranger – that’s just something I never would’ve expected from him. I thought he was better than that – most of my friends have stronger moral character. And if the guy had a problem with me, I would’ve hoped he’d feel comfortable picking up the phone or stopping by and talking to me. For a while, I tried contacting him, but just felt the huge blow-off (and no, I’m not a scorned ex-girlfriend, so shut up!). I guess some situations you go through will reveal who your true friends really are.

Here’s the thing – in my mind, if you are a close friend, or you are connected with a close friend in some way (and this has unfortunately happened a couple to times to me or people I know recently), you sometimes need to swallow your pride, and do what’s best for everybody. You can’t let petty issues get in the way – if you have a problem, be the bigger person and talk it out. Don’t let things like politics, religion, or other stuff get in the way … sometimes you’re a bigger person if you address the situation and forgive (I know it’s vague – it’s meant to be).

Sorry for the cryptic-sounding blog ... I needed an outlet to release the frustration.

Stoppage Time ...

1. As some of you know, Lost is one of my favorite shows on TV … the writing is nearly flawless, and for the most part, the acting is fantastic. It does a masterful job of blending humor, drama, suspense, and symbolism (in addition to struggles between science and religion). Probably the only real thing I hate about the show is that they take 8 months off between seasons … by the time the new season starts up, I’ve already forgotten about key storylines. This show is one of the few exceptions to the dumbing down of society by television (Heroes is similar, but the writing and acting isn’t nearly as good).

2. Oh well, so much for the Flyers … they dropped 3 in a row against a very good Penguins team … and I doubt a healthy Flyers team would’ve been able to beat Pittsburgh. The good news is that this team is really young, and they have gained some valuable experience … now it’s time for them to learn from it. Go Phils!

3. I think I’ve had my fill with Spygate … actually, I felt this way towards the end of last year. Not sure why Arlen Spector won’t let this die … but he better have a REALLY good reason … Barry Bonds thinks this circus is ridiculous.

4. A beef and beer is being held for a friend of mine – Arty Erle this Friday. He recently had an operation to remove his cancerous colon, and the medical bills are piling up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him … as well as a bunch of other “friends” who will be attending. We all grew apart for one reason or another … sometimes that happens in life. It’s good to know that we can put our differences aside, even if it’s just for one night. Get well soon, Art!

5. The Obama vs. Hillary saga is really not benefitting anyone but John McCain at this point. I have a hard time seeing Hillary supporters voting for Obama and vice versa. These voters will most likely not bother showing up to vote on election day. The thing is, many Republicans aren’t too thrilled with McCain … I guess that means it will be an interesting run to the White House at this point. Perot probably would’ve had a good chance at this point … any independents worth voting for at this point?

My cell phone is starting to die, which means I have a tough time figuring out who is calling or texting me – my phone screen is starting to resemble a strobe light … which is good news if I’m out at a club … not so much, if I’m at work. Anyway, I believe my contract with my cell phone company, AT&T, is just about up, and I need your help.

First, let me say that I really haven’t had any problems with AT&T, at least not with the service. When my wife and I bought our cell phones about 2 years ago, they were really nice – the phone included a camera, some memory, and other options like audio recording and a calendar. I’m guessing just about every phone includes this now.

In those 2 years, I’ve become quite a texter (I used to have Nextel, and used the walkie talkie function quite a bit at one time). My Nokia, which apparently everyone has now, looks like this:

It is rather difficult to text with this phone, sadly … I have to hit the 5 button 3 times before I can get to the letter “L.” So, I’m guessing I want some sort of keypad. I also want a phone with a camera and more memory than the Nokia I currently have. It seems like I can take maybe 5 pictures before the “Memory Almost Full” text appears. And forget about amassing any amount of ring tones with it. Do any of you have any suggestions on a type of phone I should look into?

Now, just because I’m with AT&T currently, doesn’t mean I have to stay with them. I have a work discount with AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, and Alltell (I think). Anybody have any suggestions with any of these (or other) carriers? Remember, I want quality and value on this one.

A MEME, NOOOOOOOOO!

One of my new blogging buddies, Scargosun, tagged me to do a meme – this ones a little different – read the directions below (remember, I don’t tag people, but if you want to do this one, please, go right ahead):

What I would like you to do is post a comment on someone else's Blog today - anyone you like, anywhere on the planet. Make a note of the letters that make up the 'word verification' for your comment. Now write down a few words yourself on your Blog - the words starting with each verification letter you had to type in. So if you typed in 'kjdffs' to verify your comment, the first word of your little list would start K, the second J, the third D and so on. Each word has to reflect something cool or important to you and your take on life! No cheating! Also tell us where you commented to get your letters!

· N – Nintendo Wii, I’ve been playing this like crazy since Christmas … HELP!
· S – Schue, she’s my wife, and the love of my life (yeah, I know – reading this may make you diabetic).
· U – Urge Overkill – This was one of my favorite bands once, they let drugs get in the way, sadly, and are no longer making relevant music.
· G – Goulash – My mom used to make this, and it was my favorite dinner in the whole world … she still makes it, but for some reason, I don’t like it that much anymore.
· Z – Zoo – I loved going to the zoo as a kid – heck, I loved most animals … I often wondered if I should’ve become a veterinarian or something like that (although, I doubt I could handle dealing with sick or dying animals).
· J – Junk – I tend to get sucked into infomercials – thank goodness my wife is the voice of reason, or else, I’d probably have a lot more junk.
· F – Flyers – Right now, you have the collective hearts of the city of Philadelphia in your hands … just win, baby!

One more thing – I wanted to wish my mom a happy mother’s day – she is the greatest woman I know, and I hope I am doing her proud. Thanks for everything, mom!

Just a Few Signs That I'm Getting Old

1. Getting mad at kids wearing their pants below their ass cheeks. I’m not sure why this pisses me off, but I’m starting to hear myself say things like, “When I was their age, I would’ve never done that.” Of course, I have no proof that this is a true statement. After all, I did go through the fad of wearing acid-washed jeans, and I would’ve loved to have gotten an ear-ring, but decided to pass on it when my dad informed me that if I did so, he would rip the ear-ring off of my ear. Plus, I even had a pair of Z-Cavarici’s back in the day – much like Ric Flair, I was stylin’ and profilin.’

2. Grillz … need I say more? I’ve lost touch. I can’t understand this. How is this cool?

3. Video gaming systems that have controllers with a million buttons on them. I grew up in the Atari 2600/Commodore 64 generation … systems that used joysticks and only one button. When the Nintendo Entertainment System came out with two buttons, I remember saying to myself, “Two buttons??? How am I going to remember how to play games with TWO buttons?” It’s gotten progressively worse … although, the Nintendo Wii gives old gamers like me hope!

4. The new music the youngsters are listening to, from urban music to emo to country – I hate ‘em all. Now, granted, I was a classic rock guy far too early in life, and basically ignored the grunge revolution of the early ‘90’s (which I now enjoy … call me a late adopter). I like alternative music, but not emo – it all sounds the same to me … Christ, I’m sounding like my parents (of course, they listened to German polka, and said that my Stones music was trash).

5. Reality TV shows – I can’t stand most of them … but I know American Idol and Dancing with the Stars is all the rage with the youngsters. I’m finding less and less TV that I can enjoy, even though it seems like I’m getting more and more TV channels to choose from … sigh.

Summertime Blues ...

Summertime approaches … and with it come a lot of plans ... vacations, fishing, swimming, golfing ... the thing is, outside of going on vacation, I don’t do much of the others anymore … oh, I plan on it, much like a New Years resolution that’s quickly forgotten, unfortunately.

Back in the day, I did all of these things with a lot of frequency. I used to fish just about every day … freshwater or saltwater. It didn’t matter if I was going after bluegill or bluefish … as long as I had a pole in my hand. Nowadays, with the exception of a family fishing trip out of Fortescue, my fishing poles sit in the shed, bored out of their skulls.

Same thing with golfing. No, I was never a good golfer, but I sure enjoyed spending a hot summer day on the course with the irons, or even going out to the local pitch-n-putt course in the evening.

Heck, I even used to swim just about every day in the summer – we used to belong to a public swimming pool – and I’d be there swimming, playing ball, or just trying (and failing) to impress the chicks.
That was back when I had what seemed to be all the time in the world. Sadly, life, and more importantly, work, can get in the way. I’ll make a concerted effort to once again fish, swim, and golf more, but I’m sure the summer will be over before I know it … sigh.

Out of my Element!

As some of you may already know, I’m by no means a wine connoisseur. In fact, you could probably piss in a glass, and tell me it’s good wine … actually, not entirely true, but you get the idea. And even though I love most music, when it comes to jazz, I’m more or less at a loss. Why am I telling you this? Because this past weekend, I had the pleasure of going to a wine and jazz festival at Longwood Gardens with a few friends. Sure, I’d probably feel more at home attending a beer and rock festival, but I digress …

We arrived at the venue around 12 noon … which is normally ok, except for the fact that we played cards the night before (and into the morning) … We come up to the festival area, passing through some really nice gardens (If you’ve never been to Longwood Gardens, and you live in the Philadelphia area, you really should take a trip), and are each given a glass, as well as one of those amusement park bracelets.

I won’t bore you with all the details, but give you some highlights. There were about 20 wineries, most of them very local, as well as some food areas (are you allowed to call them restaurants if they are serving food in a tent?). In the center, there was a stage which was occupied by local jazz bands throughout the day … they provided good background music (I’m not sure how good they were, as my jazz ‘pallet’ is on the immature side).

I sampled a lot of wine, and a good variety – merlot, pinot gris, pinot grigio, cabernet, Riesling, and even a chocolate wine (which was disgusting). My favorites were the cabernets and the Rieslings … these are pretty much on opposite sides of the wine spectrum, which I guess is ok, right? The wine, combined with a sunny, humid day, made for an interesting afternoon.

My friend’s aunt began talking about family when she blurted out this gem: “We’re all like family here … like the grass that surrounds your feet!” I paused for a second, trying to digest this literary train-wreck … finally, I couldn’t take it anymore – I finally asked her what the hell that means. She finally came clean and said she had no idea, and it must’ve been the wine talking. I referred to her as “Aunt Grass” the rest of the afternoon and evening.

One other note – most of the people at the wine festival were cool, but there were quite a few “snooty” people, who made fun of the “amateurs,” and turned their noses up at us. I try not to wish harm on anybody, but I really hope these snobs have a good fall off their high horses at some point … if you’re gonna be a jerk, why not stay home, locked in your wine cellars – even though the festival was outdoors, we really didn’t need the stuffy atmosphere you brought along.
After the wine tasting, we went home and watched the Flyers knock out the Canadians in hockey … quite a great way to end a surprisingly fun day.

My Tush Is Chafed!

Exxon Mobile made 10.6 billion in profits this past year … AND THEY WERE DISAPPOINTED! You know what, I’m a little more than disappointed that I have to pay more than $3.50 a gallon for gasoline. In fact, I reached a “dubious” milestone this past week – I paid more than $50 to fill up my car … please, please, hold your applause.

It has gotten to the point that food prices are rising, and many other “business” areas are suffering because we just can’t afford to buy anything else but gasoline. It’s high time we do something … it’s been high time for quite a while, but “environmental” reasons were not enough … but financial reasons will hopefully spur on a change.

What’s the answer? I wish I knew – I’d be a very wealthy person right now, probably, if I possessed that knowledge. Is hydrogen fuel cells the answer? What about solar power? How about nuclear? I’ve heard a lot of talk about synthetic fuel (oil/gasoline) being an option that has rapidly become cost effective, thanks to the ridiculous rise in natural oil prices. What about this algae as fuel I’ve been reading about? Hey, at this point, I’m willing to listen to any intelligent idea … either that or start looking for a job in which I can work at home …HELP!

Roger, Roger, Roger!

Sometimes lies can come back and haunt you … in a really big way. Remember Roger Clemens, the “legendary” pitcher who has been the center of the Major League Baseball steroid scandal universe? Yeah, well it seems like he’s about to try and conquer other universes.

The latest allegation? Well, that would be that Roger Clemens had a relationship/affair with country music singer Mindy McCready … I guess that alone would be a hit to not only Clemens’s reputation, but his current marriage. However, the story gets a little worse. You see, Clemens apparently met McCready at a karaoke bar when he was 28 … but, McCready was only 15 at the time.

Clemens’s stock has dropped quicker than the U.S. dollar in recent months (it was either between the dollar or Lindsay Lohan’s panties). I mean, seriously, what’s next for Clemens? Is he secretly a member of the Church of Scientology? Does he enjoy kicking puppies? Is he a Communist spy? Ty Cobb thinks this guy is a creep.

And to think, Clemens probably could’ve avoided all of this if he would’ve just swallowed his enormous ego and admitted to taking steroids, and apologizing for it. That’s impossible for someone like Clemens, who is more than willing to take his own family and best friends down with him.

In a way, I feel bad … but I’m really not sure who I feel bad for. Is it the fans who cheered on this “icon?” Is it the family and friends who are sinking with him? Is it Clemens, who just can’t put his swollen pride aside to do the right thing? I’m not sure – but I’ll tell you one thing … Barry Bonds is probably enjoying this.

Happy Days .... Again!

A few coworkers and I were discussing the TV show Happy Days on Friday ... yeah, it was a pretty busy day ... This was once the biggest show on television .... funny, how you can't even find it on reruns anymore. But, I digress...

We discussed quite a few topics that I wanted to share with you. First, we talked about the opening music - during season one, it was Rock Around the Clock, By Bill Haley and His Comets ... did you know that it was "And His," and not "And The?" Yes, this is what I bring to the table. Bill Haley's Comets continue to tour, even though he has been dead for quite a while. We discussed whether the Comets play different versions of Rock Around the Clock during the concert ... like an acoustic version, radio clean, hip-hop, etc. After the first season (maybe the second), Happy Days switched opening songs to the song ... Happy Days! One coworker swore that this song was sung by Fats Domino.

We then moved on to the Fonzie and Richie Cunningham relationship, and how unplausible this was. I mean, Fonzie was a "greaser" and Richie was a "nerd," yet these guys are best friends and, in a sense, brothers??? How'd this happen, and is this why Richie's older brother Chip was never seen again after the first season?

Staying with Fonzie, we wondered if the guy ever combed his hair ... we always see him pulling his comb out of his pocket, looking in the mirror, and then deciding his hair was perfect. Also, what about Fonzie elbowing and hip-checking the juke box to get a song to play? First, wasn't Arnold upset with this? Second, could Fonzie dictate which song to play by hitting the jukebox in different ways? That's almost super-hero-like.

We talked about Al, who ran Arnold's - the hang-out for the Happy Days teens. When he left Happy Days, he started doing On-Core frozen dinner commercials ... basically inviting himself over for dinner to anybody who bought On-Core. If anything, this would make me avoid buying On-Core. Also, because On-Core is basically a frozen dinner for a number of people, who's buying this stuff and giving it to guests? I'd be pretty upset if a friend invited me over for dinner and served me On-Core .... again, I digress...

Anyway, I wanted to see your thoughts on Happy Days (Aside from the 'jump the shark' part).

Weekend of Los, Part 2

Sunday was part two of the weekend of Los … and I was looking for an improvement over the first part of the weekend … the plan was to see the Shine A Light movie on the Rolling Stones concert at the Beacon Theatre in New York, directed by the fabulous Martin Scorsese. My lispy friend Yon ordered the tickets for us (Schue, me, Ray-Ray, Christa, and Yon).

The plan was to enjoy dinner in King of Prussia prior to the movie – Schue suggested going to the Cheesecake Factory – I’ve never been there, but I heard it was fantastic … on a side note, Schue probably would like any restaurant with the word “cheese” in it.

We left for our destination about 2 hours before the show –but had to make a quick stop at Schue’s sister’s house, so that Schue could borrow a fancy hat and dress – Schue is going to the Kentucky Derby in a couple of weeks, and apparently females need to wear fancy hats to fit in.

We made it out to the King of Prussia Mall around 5:15 – plenty of time to eat. Unfortunately, a woman in distress flagged us down. The woman, of Asian descent, could not get her Mercedes to start. Unfortunately, the woman also had a very poor grasp on the English language, as well. Being the nice guy that I am, I pulled my car up next to her’s preparing to give her a jump. Problem number 1 – we couldn’t find the lever for the hood – it took us about 10 minutes to do so – it was located way, way underneath the steering wheel … one would think Mercedes would do a better job with this location.

Then, we had to take off a batter cover, and hook the jumpers to the battery. But, the way the battery is situated in the Mercedes, it was EXTREMELY difficult to do. Again, one would think Mercedes would have made this easier. We finally got the jumper cables hooked up, but the car still wouldn’t turn over. We instructed the lady to go to security for help. I’m not sure she understood us, though. By this point, we wasted nearly ½ hour, and didn’t have much time to eat. Predictably, the Cheesecake Factory had a bit of a wait, far too long of one for us, so we ended up eating at this “food-court.” Not quite what we had in mind, but it did the trick.

We made our way to the Imax theatre, got our tickets and found seats – the IMAX theatre in King of Prussia is beautiful by the way. As for the concert – Rolling Stones fans (like myself) would definitely enjoy this as they played some pretty deep album cuts … songs you don’t typically hear the Stones play in concert. Plus, they had some pretty cool special guests like Jack White (Loving Cup), Christina Aguilera (Live With Me), and Buddy Guy (Champagne and Reefer). A few bits from early Stones interviews were played in between songs, and they were rather entertaining. Sadly, Scorsese didn’t add any other back-stage banter during the concert – I think it would’ve added to the show. All in all, it was a good time, plus it was with good friends, which made it all the better.

Weekend of Los, Part 1

What a beautiful weekend in the Philly area … with the exception of a Flyers loss on Saturday. The wife and I took full advantage of the great weather, grilling up some burgers and dogs and sitting out on the deck on Friday night, and prepping for the second part of the weekend, by listening to the Rolling Stones Shine a Light cd … excellent, by the way, for Stones fans who want to hear deeper cuts in a live format.

Moving on to Saturday. We got up early, ate breakfast, and drove into the city to see the Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin (it used to be called the Franklin Institute, but since they are no longer conducting any science experiments, they had to get rid of the “institute.”). We probably should’ve taken the omens into account – we tried getting tickets on Friday, but were unable to do so on the Ticketmaster site (I really, really hate that company), as well as calling in (the ticket office closed at 5:00). I called on Saturday morning, and was able to reserve 2 tickets – apparently, this is a hot ticket to get, by the way.

We drove in, and immediately were knee deep in traffic on the Schuylkill Expressway – seriously, is there ever a time of day, week, month, or year that this highway is not congested? We luckily were able to park and get into the Franklin 10 minutes before our “tour” began. Speaking of the parking, if you’ve never parked at the Franklin, you REALLY are in for a treat. It’s especially wonderful if you are looking to get a spike in your blood pressure. First, the garage is uncomfortably tiny – so tiny, that at times they won’t even let SUV’s in – luckily, I don’t drive an SUV, so we were “lucky” enough to be granted entrance. The “hired help” that is supposed to guide one to open parking places obviously isn’t getting paid top dollar – customer service skills are on par with Comcast Cable. Additionally, they have no sense of where to even direct drivers to go, making an already hectic experience all the more hectic.

After finally parking, we went to will call to pick up our tickets … problem was, the lackeys working this booth were apparently also hired by the same people who hired the parking attendants. I gave them my confirmation number, along with my credit card and driver’s license. They asked me if my name was “Ben,” to which I did a double take – they had my id, and my credit card – both with my name on it … and just for the record, my name isn’t Ben. After about 5 minutes of the one guy just staring at his computer, he told me I need to get in the ticket line to purchase the tickets … um, isn’t that what will call helps to avoid? I was pissed, but I’d be getting even more pissed in just a couple of minutes.

The wife and I stood in line, and were finally called up to the ticket lady. We asked for tickets for the 11:30 show … she told us that she didn’t have anything available until 2:30. My wife nearly ripped her head off … we “mentioned” in a not-so-nice way that we had called and had preordered tickets but that the will call guy couldn’t find them. The lady took our confirmation number, and in seconds printed the ticket … she has a real future at the Franklin.

The tour itself was rather disappointing to me … it was more geared towards children, which is fine, showing how science and Star Wars sometimes are connected, and showing some science experiments. There were some Star Wars costumes, and some scant information about different characters and spacecraft, but all-in-all it was just as disappointing as the King Tut exhibit that was held there prior to Star Wars. The only “saving grace” was this one guy who flipped out on security because he lost his kids in the exhibit. He berated security for about 5 minutes, before the security guard said something along the lines of “maybe you should’ve kept a closer eye on your kids as opposed to the exhibit.” The man nearly flipped – typical uneducated South Philadelphian. He sure did his kids proud with his conduct.

This may be the last exhibit I ever go to at the Franklin.

I Love This Commercial!

Has anyone seen that Bud-Light commercial with the guy who opens a beer in the kitchen, and begins to hear his dog speak? This may be the funniest commercial in years – basically, the dog continues to say “sausages” over and over again … actually, the dog is pleading for sausage. In case you haven’t, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UHKB6nQrzM.

First, let me say that the only bad part of the commercial was the squirrel at the end – saying “Mind your own business, chump!” in a rather annoying voice. Personally, I think the squirrel should’ve been saying something along the line of “nuts!” in a similar fashion to what the dog was doing.

In thinking about this commercial, aren’t there other food items a dog would prefer over sausages, such as bacon, steak, or a juicy bone? I’m not too sure that sausages would even come in the top 10. Am I right here? Sure, sure, I’m probably reading too much into this, and should just enjoy the commercial for what it is, right? I’m guessing, saying “Steak” repeatedly would not be nearly as funny as “sausages.”

Besides that, I’m intrigued. I want to know what this guy looks like, or where he used his voice before? Do you think he’ll be stereotyped from now on, ala Gilligan? I mean, when you hear his voice in other commercials, will you immediately think of the Bud Light commercial? Will you refuse to buy products his voice is promoting if these products are not Bud Light?

O.K. – you’ve probably figured it out – I really couldn’t think of anything else to write about. But, you have to admit – that is one funny commercial.

I've Had IT!

The state of Pennsylvania will have the spotlight shown brightly on its shiny tush in the coming weeks as Obama and Clinton prepare to campaign heavily. It’s only April, and I’m already sick of politics again … normally, it takes until Octoberish during a Presidential election, but the dung-flinging is reaching epic proportions already.

I don’t usually write or talk about politics, because frankly, there are enough people out there doing it already. I also don’t openly discuss my political affiliation for many reasons, mainly because I’m going to probably piss approximately 50% of the people off no matter which side I’m on. More importantly, I really don’t have an affiliation, I tend to be a moderate … a curse word on both sides.

The thing is I don’t believe in pulling that big blue or red lever when I vote. I really try and do research and make an informed voting decision, as opposed to blindly voting for one party or the other. I wish more people would do this, personally. Unfortunately, it’s never about what a person can do for the people anymore, but more importantly, what that same person can do for his or her political party. That is extremely nauseating, if you ask me.

I understand that if you want to get your party’s “blessing,” you have to usually give into party ideology, not to mention the ideology of corporations and “friends” who have financed your political career … another thing that makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

I truly think that if government and political parties had good people who cared about the people first and foremost, many of our problems would either be eliminated or at the very least lessened. I know, I know … it’s a very naïve way to look at it, but that’s just the way I am. In order to get to the higher ranks of government, you almost inevitably have to make a few deals with the devil … deals that will ultimately dictate what you do in government. For once, I’d like to see somebody come in, take charge, and say a big F-U to that … it’ll probably never happen, though.

Seriously?

OK – I have to come clean … I was ALWAYS under the belief that in order to have fun at a bachelor party, you absolutely, positively HAD to include a stop at a “gentleman’s establishment.” Sure, one could fill the day with other events and activities, such as a round of golf, trip to the Phillies game, or trip to the casino, but it was ALWAYS necessary to include the above-mentioned stop, or else it really couldn’t be considered a bachelor party.

This weekend, my feelings may have swayed a little. You see, this was the first time I attended a bachelor party in which a gentleman’s club trip was not included in the events and activities … yes folks, history was indeed made. The thought of it initially perplexed me. How is this even possible? Isn’t it a law to have strippers included in a bachelor party? Would the world suddenly end because of this travesty?

I found out all of the answers to these questions and more. Yes, it is true that one CAN have a bachelor party and not have to see any skin. Is this preferred? Probably not. But, it IS possible. Now, the other activities and events need to be stepped up in order to do this. For instance, this particular bachelor party took place in Brigantine and Atlantic City … which means there were more than enough potential activities to keep us occupied.

We started out at a condo we rented – playing cards, drinking some beers, insulting each other incessantly … you know, typical guy stuff. We then took a cab to a place in Brigantine called the Laguna – it’s a beach bar, and we had some sort of special buffet and beer tower special set up for us. The food was great … and much needed. However, the beer towers left a little to be desired … when one hears the word “tower,” one probably envisions a rather large object. Unfortunately, the beer towers looked more like blenders filled with beer. We were able to somehow get the bartender to give us refills on these rather puny towers … all in all, not bad – we stayed about 4 hours, and then went on to our next stop … again via cab (hey, we’re safe guys … but also, Brigantine police are absolutely ridiculous).

Stop number two was Game On in the Caesar’s restaurant area … really cool sports bar with a night-club-like atmosphere. We had our own corner location, which was key for a number of reasons … first, the place was mobbed. Second, we had a great view of the tv screens, and the rest of the bar. Plus, we had our own semi-private bathroom. We stayed there for another 4 hours, chatting with women from other bachelorette parties, and basically getting more and more intoxicated (another key to a no strip club bachelor party). By the way, you ladies always seem to complain about bachelor parties being out of control … it seems to me you women aren’t innocent either … I make this statement because the “bride to be” of one of these bachelorette parties was basically checking my friend’s tonsils with her tongue as he was attempting to give her rump a nice hand-waxing … but I digress.

We then went to the casino to play some craps … but playing any table games whilst inebriated isn’t such a good idea … it took us only about 1 hour to find that out. At this point, it was about 4 a.m., and since I’m no longer in “game shape” when it comes to all night drink-fests, I was exhausted, and just wanted to get back to the house and sleep it off. All-in-all, not really a crazy night, especially by bachelor party “standards,” but it was a good night, nevertheless … plus, I haven’t seen this group of friends in quite some time.

Why Didn't I Think of That????

I remember when I was in ninth grade, seeing a TV show on Nickelodeon called Mad Movies. Basically, the idea was to show an old movie (public domain, I’m assuming), but the movie would be chopped up and re-edited into a half-hour show, and re-dubbed with new audio, and in a sense “changing” the script of the movie. The result was absolute hilarity. I only saw about 4-5 episodes, and loved it!

In the early 1990’s, Mystery Science Theatre began its run on Comedy Central. It was in the same mold as Mad Movies, taking a movie that was public domain, but instead of redubbing it, three characters would “watch” the movie and make funny comments. I loved it, but at times it was a little long – it would’ve been great to have this in ½ hour formats. On a side note, I hear that MST3K is making some sort of comeback – I’ll be interested in seeing where this goes.

I’m reminded of these two shows, because a coworker gave me a link to a website which reminds me of the shows. The site takes clips from movies, and a guy makes comments about what is going on in a particular scene. For instance, during the movie Cocktail, there is a scene where Tom Cruise and the other guy are bartending and making fancy drinks during a song, and the crowd by the bar is cheering them on. The “narrator” is making comments like, “Sure, they only serve two drinks per song, but it’s worth it.”

These guys basically are cashing in on stuff we probably all do … which is making fun of movies, TV shows, commercials, etc. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t come up with these ideas … sigh. Anyway, if you’re interested in this site, check it out - http://www.rifftrax.com/samples.

Warning .... Warning ... A Sports Story !!!

Every once in a while I need to talk (or blog sports), and now’s as good of a time as any to give my take on the Philly sports (professional) “atmosphere. Some of you will probably be bored out of your skulls by this post, but hey, ya gotta give me props for warning you. Without further ado ….

1. The Philadelphia Flyers – After a 2007 season that would’ve made the 1972 76ers blush, the 2008 version, sans bumbling GM Bob Clarke, has returned to familiar playoff territory. Sure, they squeaked in on the second-to-the-last day of the season, and sit at an unimpressive 6th seed, but when you consider the fact that they lost one of their biggest playmakers in Simon Gagne for most of the season, coupled with injuries to important players, and goaltending that has been inconsistent at best, this squad did the city proud. They have a very young nucleus in Carter, Richards, Umberger, and Coburn, and need to round that out with some more talent … especially in goal. Sadly, the Flyers really haven’t had a good answer in goal since Hextall’s first time around. Stevens is OK at best as a head coach, but maybe he’ll grow along with the team … certainly he deserves another year with this team. My prediction for the playoffs is that they lose in 6 games in the first round against the Ovechkin and the blazing hot Capitals.

2. The Philadelphia 76ers – What the hell happened here? Seriously – after trading away Iverson and Webber, I thought this team had about as much of a chance to make the playoffs as our president does of successfully reciting the alphabet. All they did this season was fire the GM, bring in another GM, and trade their Ashton Kutcher look-alike Korver, and now are battling for 5th place … remarkable considering this team was 18-30 just over two months ago. Granted, Philly still needs a quality scoring power forward, and I still have my doubts about Iguodala, but they are exciting to watch now. The offseason will be interesting as they address whether to sign Iggy to a major contract … and if they do this, do they move him to 2-guard so that Thaddeus Young gets more playing time? And, will they have enough money to pursue a quality power forward? My prediction for the playoffs this year is a loss in four games (depending on which team they play, of course).

3. The Philadelphia Phillies – It really is a shame that this ownership refuses to go for a championship full throttle with arguably three of the best players in the club’s history playing in the infield. This club could probably outhit anybody, and for the most part, has more than enough adequate fielding to back up the bat-power. Unfortunately, their pitchers tend to serve up better meatballs than even the best Italian restaurants in the city. Outside of Hamels, it’s hard to have confidence in any of the starters, and the bullpen is always a concern. My prediction for these guys is a third place finish, behind the Mets and Braves.

4. The Philadelphia Eagles – They teased us this offseason, by almost indulging the fans by trying to sign free agent stud Randy Moss. But, I get this feeling these guys knew Moss was going to sign with the Pats no matter what and that this “move” would quiet the fans down a little. It’s not gonna work, fellas. I understand the philosophy to build from the inside out, by going after good offensive and defensive linemen, but shouldn’t the wide receiver position be nearly as important in the west-coast offense? I mean, didn’t Walsh’s Niners have the greatest wide receiver in the history of the game? What about Green Bay? Sure, they didn’t have anyone like that, but they had two terrific receivers in Brooks and Freeman – certainly better than the current Eagles roster. I like what they’ve done on the defensive side of the ball – considering they needed to increase the turnovers they were causing per game. What about a kick/punt returner? Do you realize that the Eagles had the worst starting field position of any team in the league last season???? Again, this may partly explain why the offense had trouble scoring. If this team stays the way it is, and doesn’t add a wide receiver of any note and no “decent” kick/punt returner, we’re looking at another frustrating 8-8 season.

Hey, at least we have the undefeated Philadelphia Sou…..nevermind.

Updated Phrases

A coworker and I got to talking last week about popular phrases and their origins. A few of these phrases probably need to be updated. For instance:

* A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. This phrase can be traced back to the 1300's, and basically means that it's better to have a small actual advantage than the chance of a greater one. This needs to be freshened up a bit, doesn't it - maybe make it a sports reference ... like, say .... "A field goal is better than no points at all ..." Ok, that one needs work.

* From soup to nuts. This conveys the meaning of "from beginning to end". It basically describes a full course dinner, starting with the "soup," and finishing with the "nuts" as the last course. But who the hell finishes a meal with nuts at this point? Isn't it more common to have ice cream, cake, or pie? Starting with soup is fine, although salad may be even earlier than soup, right? So, I submit we change the phrase to "From salad to cake."

* Take down a peg or two. This means to lower someone's high opinion of themselves. Apparently, one of the origins of this has to do pegs being used to regulate the amount of drink taken from a barrel. How does this even relate to lowering somebody's self opinion? We have an opportunity to blaze trails here (hey, that's another phrase!). Maybe use some modern day comparison, like "getting Spitzered." Just a thought.

* The whole nine yards. We should be familiar with the meaning of this - everything/all. But, in a society that loves football, this seems to be a bit confusing, since you need 10 yards for a first down. The origin of this one is clouded, and new official origin can be determined, although it is most likely military. Sports seems like it could be used again, and I submit a football comparison ... like "The long bomb." There's gotta be a better one.

Anybody have any others, or better suggestions?

Happy Birthday, Cutie!

My wife celebrates what she claims is her 25th birthday today … apparently her 10th 25th birthday in a row. I have been lucky enough to celebrate 8 of those with her and hope to celebrate many, many more 25th birthdays. In addition to throwing a little party for her (actually, she’s really running the whole thing, from the guest list, to the drink and food selection – I’m “financing” it), I got her a couple of gifts – the first is her perfume – Armane Code.

The second is season 6 of her favorite TV show, Wings. I enjoyed Wings – thought it was pretty funny, and I know others you also enjoyed it. I’ve never seen anyone who is as rabid about this show as my wife. On weekends, she puts one of the DVD’s in right before she goes to sleep … EVERY weekend. She once called out sick for an entire day, and watched Wings for 10 hours straight. Folks, that’s dedication. I struggle watching 10 hours of football a weekend during the season.

Anyway, my wife took off Friday, so she could prepare some food, and clean the house. I’m taking her to Sushi restaurant in Media tonight … Schue absolutely LOVES sushi. I’m growing to like it more and more. Consider this – when we first met in January of 2001, I never even tried Sushi, and would never have guessed that I’d ever give it a whirl. In fact, one of our first dates, Schue took me to a sushi restaurant in the city – I ordered chicken Teryaki – which is like ordering a hot-dog in a steak restaurant.

I’ve done some growing up with regards to my taste in food, thanks to my beautiful wife. She’s done some growing up with regards to wrestling knowledge, thanks to her beautiful husband. It’s a “Match” made in Heaven … Happy birthday, cutie!

Do me a favor - go over to her site and wish her a happy birthday - it'll make her day! http://schue91.blogspot.com/

What Do I Say?

I love my job … I really do. I love just about everything about it. Two things, however, are “opportunity areas” for me (by the way, opportunity areas is a nice way my company describes problems/issues). The first is the 40-minute drive – it’s not overly terrible, and heck, I’ve had longer drives to other jobs. BUT, with gas prices rapidly marching to $4.00 a gallon, it is becoming more of an issue than it should.

The second, and probably easier to solve “opportunity area,” is the security guard in the lobby of my building. No, I don’t have any major issue with the guy – in fact, he seems to be pretty cool. But, first, I have no idea what his name is, and he’s been there at least 8 months. I say hello to him every day, and chat with him briefly at least 2-3 times a day. At this point, it is nearly impossible for me to ask him what his name is. It would certainly make me look like an ignorant ass-clown (at least I think it would). I’m pretty sure he knows my name, because he’s the security guard, and anytime someone walks through the door with his/her id badge, the name comes up on the computer.

But, it goes further than that. I’ve run out of things to talk to him about. Sadly, the brief conversations are usually around the weather, and around how close the weekend is. Now, I hate to talk about the second “topic,” mainly because I really don’t hate my job (sure, I’m always looking forward to the weekend, but not THAT much). However, I’m always finding myself asking this guy, “Hey, is it Friday yet?” My teeth grind together every time I say this phrase. He’s probably sick of it as well – you know, he’s probably blogging about me being such an ass for asking him if it’s Friday, or how many hours until 4:00.

With previous security guards, I was able to talk sports, movies, tv, or anything else. Conversations were easy to start up, and I know I brought more value to the table than telling the guy that it’s unseasonably cold this morning. I’m not sure about any of this security guard’s likes or dislikes, and I’m not sure I want to know. But, seriously, I gotta be able to create more small talk with this guy than the current repository I am employing. So, if any of you have suggestions, please let me know … for my sanity, and the security guard’s …