Weekly Assignment

What a fitting way to end the year than with Mama Kat's weekly homework assignment. She's got a doozy this week - Describe a New Year's where you would have been better off just staying home.

It was my senior year in high school, and a friend was having a New Year's Eve party (parents somehow trusted the house to him on New Year's Eve). I was REALLY excited about this one, because it involved more than just a handful of us drinking in somebody's basement ... this was hard-core!

I got to the house around 9 o'clock, and had a beer or two ... so far, so good. Unfortunately, the beer ran out ... and even more unfortunately, I had never, ever heard of the "beer before liquor" saying. I happily and ignorantly switched to some vodka and orange juice. Then, when the orange juice ran out, I once again switched to vodka and iced tea ... Then, the iced tea ran out, and I was about to switch to vodka and milk - thankfully somebody stopped me.

I remember the clock striking 12, and I also remember going downstairs to play pool ... but I don't remember playing pool. The rest of this blog is based on some "detective work" on my part (asking others what I did the rest of the night).

* I played one game of pool that lasted about 45 minutes (rumor has it that it was quite hysterical).
* I sat on the couch, and after about 10 minutes, proceeded to throw up all over myself and the couch.
* A bunch of people dragged me upstairs and threw me in the bath-tub.
* Word started circulating that I might be dead.
* A friend of mine turned on the shower to start hosing me off - I got up and tried to get out of the tub, saying I had to go home.
* Hit my head on the back of the tub and passed out again.
* Friends undressed me, cleaned me up, and washed my clothes.

An ugly night, folks ... but I did learn that important rule about beer and liquor ... and also pacing myself ... I've never let that happen to me again, thankfully.

It's probably an important time to remind everybody to have a safe and happy New Year!

DBT 2K8

This weekend is a biggee – we celebrate our 4th annual DBT! What is a DBT, you may ask? Well, it is a bar tour/dive – we tell the bartenders of the bars we go to that it is either the “Delco Bar Tour” or the “Drunken Bar Tour,” but truth be known, it is actually the “Dive Bar Tour.” We started this annual adventure humbly 4 years ago – there were around 6 or 7 of us the first year. We took public transportation, Septa to those familiar with the Philadelphia area.

Four years later, we’ve blossomed … to around 10-12 people … ok, ok, maybe not blossomed, but to tell you the truth, the smaller crowd is a pretty cool thing. We still take public transportation, and this year with gas prices rising faster than Lindsay Lohan’s blood-alcohol level in a night club, we’re continuing to do our share to save gas!

The bars are, for the most part, real dives, but all have their own nuances. For instance, the Red Lantern has a Golden Tee machine, and no clientele (which means the bartender can focus on our drunk asses), Uncle Snazzi’s has no beer on tap, and uses napkins from the Wendy’s next door. Dino’s has a shuffle ball table and the men’s room is plastered with pictures of naked women. The Frontier Saloon is the local NASCAR hotspot, and has a picture of an Indian woman that “gets naked” every half hour. The Milmont Inn, or “Milmonster” as we call it, smells like the Tuesday after Mardi Gras in New Orleans all year ‘round. This year, we are adding Hunt’s Annex Lounge to the “tour.” I really don’t know what to say about the bar, except that I think it is cool that it has the word “Annex” in its name.

We tend to give each other nicknames during this bar tour. I’ve been lucky enough to have names such as “The Winner,” “Montgomery F. Blowfish,” and “Spittles.” I hope to add to this illustrious list! Last year, we ended up going back to my place and playing Guitar Hero … not an easy task whilst intoxicated. Then, we went back to another bar, and hung out with some really drunk chicks … one even showed me a “compromising” picture of herself that she took on her cell phone. I nearly lost all the beer I had “accumulated” throughout the day.

Here’s to more good stories and another successful DBT! Wish me luck!