Friday, November 18, 2005

Turn Signals Are There For A Reason, Dammit!

I’ve ranted about this before, but I swear that less and less people are using their turn-signals. Apparently, these misguided people think that most of the population have some form of ESP that enables them to come to some sort of divine understanding that the person not using the turn signal is indeed going to turn. Unfortunately, we don’t have this at our disposal, but we do have the turn signal, so use it, dammit!

Look, if you are in the turning lane, I’m not as upset with you, because I know that you are going to turn. BUT, if you are in a lane next to me and all of the sudden start veering into my lane without using your turn signal, it bothers me … for a number of reasons. First, it is extremely dangerous. If, for some reason, I am not paying attention to the road that very minute, I could be ramming my car up your ass. That is not cool, and potentially costly. Second, I feel that you don’t have enough respect for me to even offer me a turn signal before entering my lane. Thirdly, you basically piss me off, which makes me more aggressive and potentially dangerous. Do us all a favor and use the signal, OK?

Another driving issue I have is with passive and slow drivers who, for some reason or another, decide that they MUST be in the left lane of a highway. Most people of average intelligence or above know that the left lane is usually designated as the passing lane … or the lane for people with lead feet. But some mongoloids who found a loophole in the system to be able to secure a drivers license, still continue to clog up the left lane, which, in times of rush hour, causes massive delays AND potential for accidents. Stay in the right lane, douchebags.

Finally, I believe we should have separate roads for old people. They are a danger on the road (not all, but quite a few). Oh, how I love to be behind a car where I see only blue, frail knuckles on the steering wheel. These people basically don’t even give a crap anymore. If they get into a car accident, oh well – it gives them something to talk about when they are playing Earl in chess at the local park. “Guess what happened to me today Earl? I caused a 10-car pile up, killing 12 people, and worst of all, I crapped my new shiny pants that I bought from K-Mart.”

Yes – thank goodness its Friday.

3 comments:

Ink and Stone said...

Ok, take a breath... relax... it's ok, Karl, Relax.

People who don't use their turn signal suck.

If you're in the left lane and someone's coming up on ya, get out of the way!

Old people shouldn't drive. They should be studied to see what nutrients we can extract from them.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Is it possible for pants from Kmart to indeed be shiny?

Jeff said...

I swear that less and less people are using their turn-signals.
** In metro Philadelphia, cars do not come equipped with turn signals.

I could be ramming my car up your ass. That is not cool
** And Karl knows cool.

I feel that you don’t have enough respect for me to even offer me a turn signal before entering my lane.
** We're not alone in not respecting Karl!

Thirdly, you basically piss me off, which makes me more aggressive and potentially dangerous.
** Women who don't give turn signals should at least give a courtesy flash.

But some mongoloids who found a loophole in the system to be able to secure a drivers license ...
** The true mongoloids are the DMV employees who grant those licenses. These drivers are dumber.

Oh, how I love to be behind a car where I see only blue, frail knuckles on the steering wheel.
** In the town where I grew up, there was an old lady who was so short and hunched-over that she had to look THROUGH the steering wheel, not over it.

“Guess what happened to me today Earl? I caused a 10-car pile up, killing 12 people, and worst of all, I crapped my new shiny pants that I bought from K-Mart.”
** Wasn't this a bad REM song? Shiny Crappy People holding hands ...