Wednesday, December 07, 2005

1. I am really getting irritated by that Pepsi commercial where the New England Patriots draft a Pepsi machine. Does this make me want to (a) buy a Pepsi, and (b) root for the Patriots? The answer is an emphatic NO! My first question is what does a Pepsi machine that catches footballs have to do with the taste of a Pepsi? My gut reaction is that it has nothing to do with it, but you might have other opinions. Secondly, would I ever root for an organization that drafts a Pepsi machine? Again, the answer is no … although a Pepsi machine would probably be better than Jerome McDougle.

2. Simon Cowell (sp?) just received a new 5-season contract from FOX. Thank goodness. I am so happy that American Idol will continue to grace television screens across the country, and continue to help in rapidly decaying people’s minds, as well as killing off terrestrial radio. Certainly, contestants on this show have great voices, BUT, there is no creativity outside of that. They sing other people’s songs -usually ones that are overplayed, so I’m sure we’ll hear gems like Photograph from Nickleback, and fecal loads from Three-Doors Down. Where is the creativity in this? Shouldn’t these “idols” be judged on songs they write and arrange themselves? Wouldn’t this be a better show than watching glorified wedding singers? Is FOX’s audience this dumb?

3. I am really getting sick of these “Red Tag” sales that Ford and GM are running. Hey guys, are you getting the picture yet? Nobody likes cars that are shaped like boxes.

4. Anyone else annoyed with any KFC commercial that has the “Sweet Home Alabama” song playing in it? KFC stands for Kentucky – Fried – Chicken. Most people outside of Alabama and Kentucky know that Alabama is not located in Kentucky. Stop playing this song, dammit! You are starting to sound like a GM commercial (playing old, overplayed rock songs to sell your product).

5. The thing I hate most about snow is the salting and over-salting of the streets. I know it is done as a safety precaution, but there is more salt on the street in front of my house than in the Dead Sea. On a positive note, I have learned a new word. That word is Brine. Apparently, brine is a mixture of 25% salt and 75% water, and this brine is useful in preventing ice build-up and melting ice. I learned this after the 82nd time it was mentioned by all of the local news stations. Thank goodness for local news. I am sure I will only hear this about 7,437 more times during this winter season.

3 comments:

Jeff said...

1. I am really getting irritated by that Pepsi commercial where the New England Patriots draft a Pepsi machine ... My first question is what does a Pepsi machine that catches footballs have to do with the taste of a Pepsi? ... although a Pepsi machine would probably be better than Jerome McDougle.
** Pepsi tastes like dirty leather?
** I remind you that, for years, the only receiver able to get open and catch McNabb's passes was the basket in the Lincoln Financial ads.
** Has a Pepsi machine been shot?

2. Simon Cowell (sp?) just received a new 5-season contract ... I am so happy that American Idol will continue to ... help in rapidly decaying people’s minds, as well as killing off terrestrial radio ... there is no creativity outside of that. They sing other people’s songs -usually ones that are overplayed ... Shouldn’t these “idols” be judged on songs they write and arrange themselves? Wouldn’t this be a better show than watching glorified wedding singers?
** Decaying our minds? Perhaps, but I loved that intellectual classic, Dumb and Dumber.
** Radio has been long-dying by lack of talent, or there would be no void for American Idol to fill.
** "No creativity" puts them on the Hollywood fast track.
** The least they can do is make performers cover songs like "99 Problems," "Legalize It," "I Used to Love Her," or "The Rodeo Song."
** So few acts write their own songs anyway -- so why does that matter?
** I don't watch Idol but have some compelling ideas that would merit more seasons: For starters, all concerts performed in prison.

3. I am really getting sick of these “Red Tag” sales that Ford and GM are running. Hey guys, are you getting the picture yet? Nobody likes cars that are shaped like boxes.
** It's easier to hire a new marketing firm than to change a design or negotiate with a union.
** I bet you'd like it if it were instead a "Red Light" sale, such as in Amsterdam.

4. Anyone else annoyed with any KFC commercial that has the “Sweet Home Alabama” song playing in it? ... You are starting to sound like a GM commercial (playing old, overplayed rock songs to sell your product).
** STARTING to sound like GM?
** Nothing like using redneck music to sell in inner cities.

5. The thing I hate most about snow is the salting and over-salting of the streets ... I have learned a new word ... Brine ... I learned this after the 82nd time it was mentioned by all of the local news stations.
** Things I hate MORE about snow: cold, wind, ice, and idiot drivers.
** Just another reason to not bother with local news. And you thought Idol was unoriginal.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

1. I can see it now...

With the second pick in the NFL draft, the Cleveland Browns select one of those claw thingies that grab stuffed animals and drop them down in the slot for a quarter.

With the third pick in the NFL draft, the Houston Texans select a George Foreman Grill.

2. American Idol does suck. But I did watch it at the end of last season because I have this new habit of watching reality shows just so I can make fun of them in my mind. It seems to entertain me.

3 and 4... the advertising industry actually ran out of marketing ideas and new jingles back in 1987. They just are hoping we won't notice. I think te last original idea was "Where's The Beef".

5. Being close to the pulse of local media as I am, here is a list of 5 things a television news operation must do when a big snowstorm hits...

1st... get a shot of one of their reporters in front of a big salt pile, or in front of a Penndot truck.

2nd... remind people to not drive on the roads unless it is absolutely necessary, and if you do have to drive use extra caution.
(Side note here... you don't know how many times during bad weather events I had people tell me when I did my traffic reports that I need to remind people of things like "be sure to put your headlights on". I always countered with "Do you want me to also remind them to get a hot breakfast, put their mittens on, and call their mother once a week too?" People think we in the media need to hold people's hands sometimes.)

3rd... put the weather forecaster on as the first story, no matter if we are getting one inch or 30.

4th... start the morning news a half hour earlier at 4:30am to have the earliest snow coverage, further inconveniencing the people who work for those stations having to get up at 2:30 in the morning just to make it to work (yep, I've been there).

5th... overstate so much about how bad the traffic is expected to be that less people will decide to drive, and not one delay will happen on the roads as a result (this happened more than once when I worked in Boston).

Ink and Stone said...

1. Haven't seen it.
But if the Patriots like Pepsi enough to draft it as a player, then I MUST go out and BUY Pepsi.
Not.

2. Stupid show that emphasizes the stupidity of the stupid populace that watches this stupid crap.

3. I have a Focus and it's not shaped as a box, Karl. Idiot. Sure I got a recall that the passenger doors might open of their own volition, but hey! Who cares? It's Ford! Bastards.

4. "Sweet Home STFU" If I want chicken, I'll cook it myself.
Polynesian Chicken for the win!

5. I thought Brine was a type of small shrimp that humpback whales ate.