Thursday, May 17, 2007

California, Here I Come ... Part 2

This will be my last post for at least a week … have I had enough of blogging? No – I’m going on vacation. Specifically, the wife and I will be traveling out to San Francisco, where we’ll spend two days enjoying the city and its splendor. We already have our trip to Alcatraz booked for Sunday, and we plan on seeing the Japanese Tea Garden, as well as that zig zag street.

Then, on Monday, we travel to the Napa Valley. Now, I’m no wine drinker. In fact, I probably couldn’t distinguish between a cabernet and a merlot. But, that’s o.k. – I’m willing to learn. And what better place, than the Napa Valley! We have an idea of some of the wineries we will be visiting, and we can’t wait to eat at some scenic restaurants as well.

Here are just a few of the things I’d like to accomplish in California:

* Kick Barry Bonds repeatedly on his knees until they fall off.
* Ask somebody in Napa where the Chateau de Thunderbird is.
* Say hello to the Governator.
* Ask the trolley driver to take me to Rice-a-Roni.
* Mention to all the locals how much nicer San Diego is.

If you have any other suggestions, let me know! See y’all in a week!


Jeff said...

Have a good time, and don't shake hands with anyone -- SF hosting the National Masturbate-a-thon this month.

For your suggestions:
* Kicking Bonds: should take about 1 kick.
* The Governator: Sacto isn't far from Napa. But he often is at his Santa Monica restaurant on Mondays.
* San Diego nicer: NO! Say how much nicer LOS ANGELES is. Or, if you really want to slay the locals: Fresno. Or Texas.

Other obnoxious ideas from someone who's been there often and recently:
* Call the city "Frisco." They hate that.
* Gay jokes and your phrase, "pillow biter."
* Phrases like "Hershey Highway" and "Bend over and take it like a man."
* Call their cars "Pious."
* Ask if they know anybody who speaks Spanish besides the gardener.
* Dirty Harry was too sensitive.
* Ask if Bonds needs a new "trainer." They love him there. Seriously.
* Ask the wineries if they use turpentine like on The Simpsons.
* Make fun of the white canvas hung on the white wall at the MOMA.
* Taunt the homeless.
* Ask for a guided tour of the People's Park.
* Ask to tour O.J. Simpson's childhood home.

El Padrino said...

i'm jealous

ask them if they got that sweater vest at the gap

thanks, i'll be here all week

Superstar said...

LOL ;o)

HAve fun! ~waves~
You are really going to enjoy the Napa Valley tour.

Don't worry, they will give you the 411 on the wine. Just swirl the glass, look at it up in the light...You'll look like you know! LOL ;o) OH and occationally spit out the wine...~rolls eyes~ I KNOW it's WRONG..but it's what they do! LOL ;o)


minijonb said...

Chinatown and the waterfront in SF are always a good time. If you find Chateau de Thunderbird let me know =;-)

Steph said...

Have an awesome time. I've very jealous.

The Rev said...

Sourdough bread rules!

Kristin said...

I hope you have a great time... if you check this, be sure to have dinner at Ana Mandara... the BEST food... the place has a "colonial before the war Saigon" feel and is great!

Christina_the_wench said...

Good for you, getting away. Enjoy some couple time!

snowelf said...

Hey Los,

Hope you are having a great time! :)