A New Discovery ...

I came to a conclusion a few weeks ago at work, after much “picking.” Before your dirty minds start cranking out ideas, I’ll let you in on it - I think I may have purchased the absolute worst boxer briefs ever made. Sorry to all those folks who were disappointed by this revelation.
You’re probably wondering how I was able to come to such a conclusion … either that, or you really don’t care so much about my underwear trials and tribulations (and if that’s the case, I really don’t blame you). I’ve been spending an enormous amount of time throughout the day pulling out these enormous wedgies that I’ve been getting. It’s as if these boxers were cookies and my ass was the Cookie Monster, either that or my ass has been like a vacuum cleaner, sucking up the lint … which of course is being represented by these boxer briefs.

I remember buying said underwear at a department store a few months ago, opting to buy the brand that was a couple of dollars less. If anything, I learned a VERY important lesson that day, my friends – there are some items which one should not spare expense on. Actually, I’ve known about some of these for quite some time – items such as trash bags and shoes quickly come to mind. Well, congratulations boxer briefs, for you have finally made this exclusive list!

I would estimate that I pick this wedgie about 5 times a day, and I may be a little conservative with this estimate. The more embarrassing thing is that I’ve been caught picking my wedgie on numerous occasions. It’s a tough thing to brush off, and it’s really difficult to make out like you were doing something else (for instance, when you trip while you are walking, sometimes you can pretend that you were jogging). I’m probably known in some circles of the office as Mr. Wedgie, or something like that … all because I wanted to save a few bucks on underwear.

On a side note, one truly underratedly good feeling is the feeling you get after pulling a wedgie out of your ass. Some words that don’t fully describe this feeling include satisfaction, freedom, and invincibility.