Let me be the first to wish you a happy Cliché Day – that’s right, probably one of my favorite days of the year. So, in the immortal words of Richie Cunningham, “Sit on it, Potsie!”
You Call THAT a Special?
I went to Iron Hill Brewery a few nights ago with a fellow Penn Stater for dinner, and a funny thing happened. The waiter asked if I wanted to hear the specials, to which I replied, “sure,” and the waiter says the following: “Let me see if I can pull this out … I have the grilled sausage.” Of course, I pounce all over this, and say something to the effect of “Well, that really didn’t sound so good.” Poor waiter guy was flustered for the rest of the night.
Oil Came from What?
You know, I’ve always been under the belief that oil came from dinosaurs. Ink, a coworker, thought it came from plants and foliage of some sort. Surprisingly, after some research, we found out that neither of us are correct. Apparently, it comes from some sort of small life-form (not really a plant, not really an animal) that ends up dying on the bottom of the ocean floor and forming some sort of sludge. Of course, Ink and I got into an argument over this, and Ink claimed I was lying. I responded with “If you don’t know that you are lying, then you aren’t lying.” Not really sure any of this made sense.
Take That Cigar and Shove It!!!!
This past weekend, Red Auerbach, legendary coach and GM of the Boston Celtics passed away. As a Philadelphia sports fan, I wonder if any of our owners will ever reach this legendary status. The only one that comes anywhere near this is Ed Snider, but his teams really haven’t done much since the Flyers won two Stanley Cups in the 1970’s. Auerback’s Celtics won well over a dozen championships, and probably would’ve won more if Len Bias didn’t overdose on coke back in the day. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m really jealous and I wish we had some competent owners in this city. Please help us!
Office Prank of Sorts
You know what pisses off a lot of people at work? When somebody (me) makes a bag of microwave popcorn in the office. The smell wafts to all corners of the work place and if you listen closely enough, you can hear the collective sound of stomachs growling. Of course, you have to be skilled at popping corn in the microwave – there are some rocket scientists in this building that have caused the fire alarm to go off because (a) they didn’t realize that one can overpop corn, or (b) they decided to go to the bathroom while the corn was popping, and ended up spending too much time in the restroom or forgot about the popcorn altogether. Maybe people should be licensed to pop corn.
Writer’s Workshop: Passing The Baton
3 months ago
12 comments:
I like unplugging peoples mouses (or is the plural of that mice in this case too, im not really sure). It's a totally harmless prank but for some reason everyone always just assumes there mouse is broken, then they get all kinds of frustrated before they ever think to check if its plug in or not.
I don't think I would have ever given any thought as to where oil comes from. Anyway, to annoy co-workers I like eating their marked lunch and then pretend I'm starving.
Eric - Ooh - I like the unplugging mice idea!
Jeff - Sixers are 1-0! We are BETTER than the Hawks!!!!
FM - This is why I bring a cooler to work and set it under my desk ... so nobody steals my lunch!
Microwave anything with garlic in it in your office. People will wig.
Have a good weekend, Los!
Christina - You are a genius!
I wish I was there for the sausage moment. I think I would have lost it for about 5 minutes laughing. The waiter would not be able to come back to the table because I would be laughing so hard.
We once had a legend in this town... remember Connie Mack? Well of course you don't cause that was over 50 years ago. That's the closest thing to Auerbach we have.
In recent times, Paul Owens had a good run, but not really Red Status. Ed Snider wishes he was Red Auerbach.
I never said you were lying! I said you were wrong! You said I was lying! And it turns out, we were both wrong. But I guess if you don't know that you're lying than you're not lying, just misinformed.
king popper, teach me to pop the perfect kernel.
I will put together a to-do list sometime for those who want to learn the art of popping the perfect bag.
The worst smell at an office is fish. In one of the many call centers that I have staffed up in the years, it starts off simple. 12 microwaves 50 people all eating lunch at different times. Then a m onth goes by and now 130 people work here w/ 12 microwaves.
NEW RULES, split lunches and still they manage to keep them ok and clean. another month goes by and now there are 200 people.
The signs start..NO FISH
NO POPCORN
OH then the whole refrigerater mess! OMG! Why can't people (including me) remember that they BROUGHT a lunch to work? Container full of CRAP they didn't finish the night before and LEAVE it in there for "janitor" (normally the "team leaders or management" to clean out)
OH and the best part is when the employees' all get pissed (including me) that We threw away the $.05 tupperware $1 store container!
*phew* guess I had alot to say about that!
yes, there is a skill at popping the corn, i don't have it.
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Arrghh! I'd have to seriously harm you if you made that disgusting pop corn near me.
It aint real. It's plastic smelling. YUCK!
I only like the old skool pop corn. Mmmm. You really can't compare.
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