Tuesday, December 26, 2006

2007 Predictions

I haven’t done this in a while, and to tell you the truth, I wasn’t a very good prognosticator (I think I would win the gold medal in scrabble with that one). But, what the hell – I’ll give it a shot.

10. I think that one of the 4 “F*ckhats” will pass away this year. You know – Nicole, Paris, Brittany, or Lindsay. I’m not wishing this on them, mind you, but I can just see something like this happening. My guess is that it’s gonna be Nicole, probably starving herself to death or something like that. Again, I’m not wishing this on her.

9. Barry Bonds’ knees are going to fall off during a baseball games. Now, unlike #10, I am wishing this on him.

8. T.O. will get released from the Cowboys. The guy has a knack for ruining pro teams. In fact, I’m surprised that FOX hasn’t put together a reality show based on this yet.

7. The Phillies will be in the wild card race until the last week of the season … like every year.

6. We will either get confirmation that we were successful in “terminating” Osama Bin Laden, or we will find out that he had died about a year ago … again, unlike #10, I am wishing this on him.

5. The Rolling Stones will finally end their “Bigger Bang” Tour that started in 2005.

4. There will be another “new” Tupac cd out, with “all new material” … even though the man has been dead for close to 10 years (or more).

3. Burger King will be producing a 10 patty hamburger (I think they’ve already done 5, so what the hell).

2. The Reverend will post another blog entry on his site (which means he’ll have a new job – go Steve!!!!).

1. There will be a “Best of” President Bush funny lines DVD out … and it will be the best selling DVD of the year.


Superstar said...

YOu need to add the hat and fether and Ed McMann to intro you...>;o)

Kristin said...

You are so right... one of those trainwrecks is going to stupid herself right into an early grave.

And, for the love of that is holy, could the Rolling Stones just move on already?!

Fairmaiden327 said...

Hi Los!

I'll go with Lindsay. Totally a younger version of me. I hate Barry Bonds. I LOATHE T.O. -- he's a little bitch. Don't know anything 'bout Philly. #6 No way. Something wicked this way comes. One of the Rolling Stones will eventually pass out on stage, prompting them to quit. #4 Absolutely. #3 BK dude spawns kids with freaky faces. #2 The Rev. cannot stay away. #1 Sounds like that's a given.

Ink and Stone said...

Prognosticate, Los, prognosticate!

10. My money is on Paris. Let that annoying little meatbag rot.

9. I guess he 'knee'ds to stay off the drugs, huh?

8. meh. He can rot too.

7. Waaaaah.

6. Please, Osama is at the Bush's ranch... sipping tea and talking to W. about new ways to instill terror into the public to perpetuate a state of total war.

5. The Stones need to stop touring... it's only shortening their lifespans. Except for Keith, I don't think that guy can die.

4. He's not dead.

3. And they will call it the 'Mega-Meaty King of Kings'

2. woot!

1. His ability of speech is definately something to laugh at.

Jeff said...

Karl's predictions:
10. None will die, but at least one will be in either Playboy or rehab.
9. Hope you're wrong -- that we never see Bonds again.
8. Way to go out on a limb.
7. The Phillies have the best pitching staff in the division and may be the favorites.
6a. You could make this exact prediction about Castro.
6. Bin Laden's been marginalized. So OK by me, but I'd far rather see the demises of Ahmedinejad, Kim, Assad, Chavez, Mugabe, etc.
5. One of the Stones may die the moment they stop touring.
4. And another Elvis CD.
3. Salad Alley will begin selling a 10-gallon Caesar.
2. Best wishes.
1. DVD production will occur. It won't be 2007's top seller. The market has already been saturated, at least 45% of the country won't buy it under any circumstances, and too many people are far too tired of politics to bother.

On to my predictions (in no particular order):
1. Raul Castro will honor Fidel by killing as many dissidents (and competitors) as possible -- with many dying before Fidel's official death. American and European intellectuals will blame Bush.
2. Putin will attempt to assassinate at least one international political opponent.
3. At least one American politician will say something exceedingly stupid about the military that only serves to expose his own idiocy.
4. At least one European country will give nuclear equipment and technology to Iran.
5. The Eagles will win at least one playoff game, and Philly fans will attempt to run Donovan McNabb out of town.
6. Joe Paterno will pass Bobby Bowden for most career college football wins -- and have fewer (as in zero) players arrested.
7. At least one major news organization will push a "fake but accurate" story, then lament the impending loss of subscribers or ratings.
8. Super Bowl ads will be better than the game itself.
9. T.O. will call either Bledsoe, Romo, or Parcells gay on his way out of Dallas, and will then fragment a 5th team.
10. Jack Bauer will survive Season 6.

El Padrino said...


do you read palms

Superstar said...

Los: Jeff needs to get his own blog...
BTW no offense to this "jeff" but the name jeff is a BAD BAD name...something alone the lines of "JEFF IS GOING TO DIE" KILL JEFF Vol. I and Vol. II...sounds about right...BAD,BAD man...Not that I dislike this comment leaving dude.,...Just thought I would share...I'm board...

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Geez, just tell the world what I am doing.

I'll probably come back regardless. I'm starting to miss it.

Los said...

Superstar - I'm in negotiations with Mr. McMahon now! BTW - Jeff used to have his own blog ... a sports blog about the Phillies ... he was a great writer, but I guess even he got tired of writing about the "Sillies."

Krisin - No dissin' the Stones (I'm a big fan!).

FM - Lindsay is a good pick ... heck, all of them are good picks.

Ink - I like the name of the new BK sandwich!!!!!

Jeff - Great predictions ... a little skewed to the right, but still great.

ELP - No palm reading, but I'm not against learning how to.

Rev - We'll have to podcast about our Electric 6 show.

Snowelf said...

Go Lostradamus! ;)

I loved number three--I swear, between hardee's and BK, it's like there is a contest to see who can get the most fat in a burger! Bleech. (also one more reason not to eat hamburger. ;)) And of course, number one...yea...good old number one...

Happy 2007!

furiousBall said...

Much along the same lines as The Doors, Tupac is leading the league of dead guys with the most released posthumous works. It seems will get a chronological compilation of Jim Morrison's Best Farts in the studio, perhaps with some digital magic they could do a duets edition with Tupac's studio farts?

Eric said...

I think you're right about Nicole, she's not looking to good. If she doesn't OD herion she'll die of starvation by the end of the year. Paris, unfortunataly, looks reasonably healthy.

Los said...

Snow Elf - In a weird way, it's sort of "refreshing" to see a fast-food restaurant not try and hide what it is all about.

Furiousball - I'm eagerly anticipating a new studio album by the Beatles.

Eric - You never know, with all of the "activities" that Paris participates in, she may get the HIV.