Tuesday, March 20, 2007

This and That...

Here are some questions you’ve probably been dying to ask me – consider yourselves lucky I decided to answer them:

1. What is your favorite breakfast meat?
“Believe it or not, this is a tough one for me. It really comes down to two – sausage and bacon, but not that Canadian bacon crap – looks too much like ham. I’m leaning towards bacon, because the smell of it cooking moves me more than the smell of sausage cooking ... and yes, it comes down to that for me.”

2. If you could choose anybody to be president, who would it be?
“I think I’d choose the Wolf from Pulp Fiction. The guy had a way of cleaning up messy situations … sounds like the perfect gift for a president to have.

3. Are you a cat man or a dog man?
“Dogs, dogs, dogs (and not in a sick way, ok?). Cats have about as much of a personality as Bill Wyman.

4. If you had to choose between having to puke, or having to go diarrhea, which would you rather do?
“I’d rather just go for it and shit my pants. I hate puking. I hate the sound, sight, and smell of puke.

5. What would your dream job be?
“Phew, anything that would pay me a lot of money, and produce very little stress on me. I would love to talk sports, movies, and farts … if somebody would give me a lot of money to do this, I would be a happy man.”

6. Your favorite fast-food chain?
“Ugh – tough call. If I could form a hybrid that included Wendy’s Kaiser rolls, Burger King’s flame-broiled patties, and McDonalds’ French fries, I’d be a happy man … probably weighing 50 more pounds as well.”

7. Who was the first person you had a crush on?
“I was in fifth grade. The girl’s name was Kathy. She thought I was a toad. Maybe it was the red sneakers my mom made me wear. Once, she got head lice. I still had a crush on her. I was a sick kid.”

8. Do you have a first memory?
“I remember my mom threatening to not let me outside until I pooped in the toilet … I held out for 3 days until I finally pooped again … some things have a way of staying with you for some reason.”

9. Who is your favorite super hero?
“I’ve never been really big into Super Heroes. However, I always liked El-Kabong.”

10. What would you rather be doing right now?
“I would rather be swimming in money … a lot of money.”


Kristin said...

Canadian Bacon... funny movie, suspect breakfast food.

Fast Food? In 'n Out... the rest of them will kill you.

El-Kabong? Really? Was there such a superhero? I always liked Wonder Woman because her outfits were the best.

Ink and Stone said...

1. Mmmmmm... bacon.

2. I'd choose a regular working Joe to be president. Not some rich bastard who used his money to get into office. Just a regular guy who is from the people and for the people.

3. Dogs!!!! I'm allergic to cats.

4. Can I choose neither?

5. I don't have a dream job... there is no such thing.. because it still involves working.

6. Hmmmm, hard to say. I like different things about all the chains. Though Chick-Fil-A is high on the list.

7. My first crush was in elementary school on a girl named Holly. Don't remember much about her now.

8. My first memory involves cacti... and it's not a good memory.

9. El-Kabong! When I was little, one of my favorites was Danger Mouse.

10. Sleeping.

The Rev said...

I remember only one Kathy in 5th grade.

Is it the one I am thinking of?

Schooskie said...

dream job: couch tester. i would be paid to sit/lay on a couch for 9 hours. i'd have to watch tv be stocked with snacks/beer and a toilet close by, and the end of the day, i would just give a thumbs up or thumbs down to the manufacturer.

El Padrino said...

everything canadian sucks

and my first crush was strawberry shortcake

im sicker than you

Eric said...

While I love bacon about as much as anyone I'd have to side with sausage in that debate. The problem with bacon is when you go to a diner you never know when you going to get served a big strip of fat. Sausage is harder to mess up in my opinion.

Los said...

Kristin - Never saw the movie, but I'd rather watch it than eat it.

Ink - You would have a dream job, if there was a position called XBOX 360 gameplayer.

Rev - that's the one.

Schooskie - You would be the best by far at that job.

ELP - Strawberry Shortcake??? Ewww!!!

Eric - I didn't say that I would say no to sausage ... wait, that didn't sound good.

minijonb said...

I think you need to make some "Winston Wolf 2008" buttons... I'd volunteer for his campaign.

Jeff said...

I consider myself lucky to be going on vacation tomorrow.

1. Breakfast meat: Pepperoni or sausage on cold pizza.

2. President: Speaking of my trip to San Francisco, Harry Callahan.

3. Dogs vs. cats: Dogs. At least you didn't say gerbils.

4. Being ill: Diarrhea of the Mouth is the worst.

5. Dream Job: So you basically want to be Stephen A.I. Smith? How about Porn Stunt Double? Seriously, Guinness quality control.

6. Fast-food chain: The drive-thru daiquiri shops all over New Orleans.

7. First crush: I'm trying to picture you as a red-sweater-wearing toad.

8. First memory: No wonder she once said you were "in the toilet."

9. Super hero: Remind me to tell you the joke about Superman and Wonder Woman sometime.

10. Doing right now: Drinking.

Lionitt said...

I seriously am starting to freak out by the similarities we share - minus that whole ham phobia.

Superstar said...

Los: Well, since I do have some knowledge in the curemaster of meat...Bacon and ham are "cured" (pickeled) with the same brine mix. When they load the meat into the machine that injects them..It's the same. FYI. Ironically, Ham is already fully cooked and only requires re-heating. Bacon needs to be cooked as it's only partically cooked in a smokehouse/process.
More than you wanted to know? LOL ;)

Puking BAD...Gawd help ya if you ever get them both at the same time...THAT really sucks. BIGTIME!!!

Um Since I am a cartoon "virgin" who was he? did he wear a cape? did he have the lighting bolt on his chest? I know, superman, wonderwomen, Justice legue...yep,,,don't know yours....Help!??

Los said...

Minijonb - I think I'll write him in during the next election.

Jeff - Lucky! vacation tomorrow????

Superstar - Bacon doesn't taste like ham, though.

Los said...

This was El Kabong, by the way:


Reverse said...

9. Who is your favorite super hero?

Tuff one since I'm such a geek... So I'll go with my favorite 5;

Superman - He'll never kneel to Zod (Never ending battle)!

Goku – Dragon Ball Z years. 26+ episodes battling the same villain (Freeza), you have to see it to appreciate it.

Optimus Prime – His John Wayne flavor worked for me. I cried when he died in the movie.

Captain America – His ideals work for me. It’s sad they just killed him off. But everyone on this list has been dead one time or another.

LOS – For having the balls to get out of this dead end job.

Dirty Birdie said...

Burger King’s flame-broiled patties

I first read that as "flamed-broiled panties" and I was quite baffled and a little excited...

Rainman said...

R. Lee Emery - Full metal Jacket and Mail Call fame
PC Game tester or Porn Star tester
Cant remember her name?
Almost drowning when I was like 3 years old
Green Hornet aka Bruce Lee
Fishing on a boat somewhere sunny and warm while drinking a cold L

The Rev said...

I remember that Kathy you speak of.

She was the first one of the girls to get the dirty pillows, wasn't she?

Snowelf said...

Los: I fear I may be the only one who knows who El-Kabong was...so I get mucho kid at heart points for that! :)