Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fast Food, My A$$!

I’ve gone on a fast-food rant in the past, but it had to deal with drive-thru’s. Well, I got one for when actually ordering inside a fast food restaurant. My wife and I went to KFC on Sunday because we were in the mood for some “finger-lickin’.” Service was predictably slow, and there was a long line – it took us about 20 minutes to get our food – fast food, my a$$.

However, that’s not what my rant is about. There were these three older ladies in front of us, and they too had to wait in line. One would think that whilst in line, you would generally look up at the menu and get a general idea of what you want. Nope, not these mental midgets. They looked at the menu as if it was printed in Chinese, and they couldn’t get the handle of the “intricate” value meal numbering provided by KFC. Fast food companies “invented” this so that it would be easier to order. However, to some, there is absolutely nothing that could make ordering easy.

The first lady asked if the “Number 1 chicken breast meal” included a chicken breast. I kid you not. After the cashier informed her that it did indeed include a chicken breast, he asked her what sides she wanted. You would’ve thought the guy asked her to take pi to the 23rd digit. She was flabbergasted, and for a time, I thought she was going to pass out … no such luck. The second lady faired even worse, ordering the number 5, and when asked if she wanted a thigh or a leg, I could hear gurgling originating in her head. It was much the same with the third lady.

On the way home from KFC, my wife proclaimed that these ladies, in their advanced age, had to have gone to a fast food restaurant prior to this, and if they can’t order by this time, they shouldn’t be allowed back. I wondered out loud if there was some sort of training available for customers who are incapable of placing orders at fast food restaurants.


Jeff said...

Next time drop your pants and "order them a Number 2."

snowelf said...

This is why I am deathly afraid to get "old".
I am going to stay young forever.


Ink and Stone said...

Beware. This is what happens when you eat KFC. You become like those old ladies.

Now it's time to go get me some chicken!

Eric said...

Old people have no idea how to function in normal, everyday society. We should just warden of a section of Florida and send all the old people there. I believe this would solve most major cities traffic problems.

Los said...

Jeff - I was seriously considering it!

Snow Elf - I just can't imagine myself being that way ... EVER!

Ink - You are such a funny cluck!

Eric - I've thought about the idea of having roads that only old people can use. Maybe we can add restaurants as well.

Ink and Stone said...

"Old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them...”

Christina_the_wench said...

I find that the old people in my area are cranky bastards who have no patience or manners. I shit you not. They are not humble, feeble grandparently types. They are rude and should be shot. Or donated to science.

Viva la KFC!

Superstar said...

OK, First I have to say, I am the LEAST patient when fast food is not FAST.

I start tapping my foot and then it's just all down hill.

I find for KFC the drive-thru a better option. I am sure SURE that I would have gone balistic on that dumb person.