What Was M. Night Thinking?

I normally enjoy M. Night Shyamalan’s movies. I particularly enjoyed The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, and Signs was pretty good too, although nowhere near as good as the previous two. That is why I was particularly excited when I clicked on HBO and The Village was just starting. I had meant to see it in the theatres a few years ago, but for one reason or another, I never got a chance.

I should thank my lucky stars that I didn’t plunk down the $8 to see this pile of steaming crap, because I probably would’ve kicked myself in the nuts for doing so. I was so disappointed in this movie, that I’m fuming over the 2+ hours I wasted viewing this dung. I know I should’ve turned it off, but I just kept on waiting for something to happen (much like the Blair Witch Project), and eventually the credits rolled.

Normally, I would not give too much of a movie away so I wouldn’t spoil it for the people who “weren’t lucky enough” to have seen it yet. But, seriously, I’m doing you a favor. Don’t watch it. You’ll thank me. Not only is there no real action in this flop of a movie, the “big Shyamalan” twist that occurs in every one of his movies is so lame, that I felt like drop-kicking my television set after it was “revealed.”

I am more disappointed by how such a great cast was wasted on this puddle of puke. One would think that a movie that included Joaquin Phoenix, Adrian Brody, William Hurt, and Sigourney Weaver would be a slam-dunk. Apparently, Mr. Shyamalan was really moved by Ishtar, because, much like that movie, a good cast of actors was successfully engulfed in this miserable flick.

The funny part is, I’m usually able to find the good parts of movies. There are exceptions that include Betsy’s Wedding, Quiz Show, and That Darn Cat, but for the most part, I usually look for the good in a movie and focus on that. Heck, I even enjoyed such flops as “Dude, Where’s My Car,” “Dumb and Dumberer,” and “Caddyshack 2.” But, I really can’t think of anything good about this movie.

The “scary monster” that was supposed to be in this movie was something the elder villagers created on their own, which was a tremendous let-down. The “shocking twist” was basically that this town existed in the modern world, which is not shocking at all, considering we have Amish people in this country. Every part of this movie sucked from the lack of action, to the silly vocabulary used.
After I got done watching this movie, I wanted to call HBO up and tell them to put on Meet the Fockers for the 20,000th time, because it was a better option than The Village. Ugh, what a letdown. Did I mention that you shouldn’t go see this movie?