Un-Neighborly

Generally, I try really hard to get along with my neighbors. Most of them are easy to get along with, so I expend very little energy tolerating them. However, one of my neighbors is really starting to wear on me.

She is known as the neighborhood gossip/snitch. She knows about everything going on long before anybody else does. She also sticks her big ugly nose where it doesn’t belong. She has never done this with me, because I keep to myself and never give her any ammunition. However, I’ve seen it done with a few neighbors, and she is relenting.

Let me give you one example. Her immediate neighbor, the one she shares the twin with (not a person, but a type of house), bought his house about 6 months before we bought ours. He has always been nothing but friendly to me, and has done major improvements to his property in the short time he has been there. For some reason, this bothers the sea-hag (since I can’t give you her name, I will be calling her this, because she looks like one). I’m guessing she doesn’t like the idea of home improvement around the neighborhood, because she would like to continue living in her filth and not feeling guilty about it.

So, now she is sticking her nose in his business, asking if he has gotten permits for his improvements. She even has mentioned on several times that the fence that separates their property is 3 inches on her side. Now, nobody should give a flying rat’s ass about 3 inches, especially since it was her dopey husband’s idea to do this years ago. But, now she wants to remind the guy over and over again that he can’t do anything on that part of the property, and that she may want to plant flowers there. In my humble opinion, she should at the very least think about removing the hairs inhabiting her face before she event worries about the three inches of property. This is but one “topic” that she has “discussed” with her neighbor. There are many more, and unfortunately, she comes by when she sees me outside to go over all of them, while I try mightily to ignore her (it never works, she could probably make a brick wall blink).

But now, I suspect that she is stealing my coupons. I know it seems petty, but I am really into coupon clipping now. But, this past week, we didn’t get our coupons … or did we. The Inquirer does a weird thing, in that they send out the coupons on Saturday and the newspaper on Sunday. We didn’t get the coupons on Saturday, so I called the Inquirer, and they delivered them yesterday. I put the coupons on my front step (I was on my way to work … and running late). But, when I got home, they were gone. This lady is the only one in the neighborhood who has no problems trespassing on anybody else’s property, and I know that this would be something she would be totally capable and willing to do.

What will I do about this? Probably not much. BUT, I will definitely tell her that somebody has been stealing my coupons the next time I talk to bush-face. Then, I will say that it has bothered me so much that I have installed a hidden camera to catch the thief. This will hopefully make the hairs on her face stand up, much like a porcupine.