My Many Nicknames

Over the years, I have acquired quite a few nicknames. Some of them have stuck, and some of them have faded into the past. The funny thing is that I remember the origins of many of my nicknames, and since it is Friday, and I can’t think of anything else to write about, I figured I’d bore you with this topic (you’re welcome):

1. Kaz (pronounced Kahz) – This one was given to me at a very early age, I believe I was in first grade when we schoolchildren were discussing something about World War II, Nazis, Japs, and Kamikaze missions, and since my first name was similar to Kamikaze (the first two letters are the same), some of my peers began calling me Kamikaze. It was eventually shortened to Kaz, and this nickname stuck with me until high school.

2. Los (pronounced low-s). This is probably my favorite one, and was given to me when I was on the Interboro soccer team. Apparently, our first names were not good enough, so the captains of the team decided each of us needed a different name. Mine was originally going to be Karlos, but it was eventually shortened to Los. This became the dominant nickname for me throughout high school, and I wanted it to continue through college, but when I told my college buddies to call me Los, they said, “Whatever, Karl.” It is still used by many of my high school buddies, but I fear it is slowly becoming a thing of the past … much like the Backstreet Boyz and Jay Leno.

3. Stupid German – This was an alternative nickname to Los in high school. Since I’m German and I do stupid things, the nickname came naturally. Thankfully, it never caught on.

4. The Winner – I was given this nickname by a lady with no teeth taking her daughter for a walk last year. A few friends of mine and I went on a bar tour, and as we were leaving one bar to go to another, we walked by this piece of white trash. I had a lot of quarters in my pocket, so my pants jingled as I walked (I needed quarters for the Megatouch machine, dammit!!!!). The lady heard this, and she said, “Hey, you must be the winner.” I would’ve punched her, but it looked like somebody beat her to me. Anyway, this nickname stuck for the rest of the bar tour, and will probably be brought out for the next bar tour (which happens to take place tomorrow).

5. Bubbie – This is one that my wife uses for me. I’m not really sure what her inspiration was for this, but she uses it all the time. I guess it is better than being called “Piece of Shit,” or something like that.

If any of you can think of any more for me, go right ahead (keep it clean).