Now, I don’t like going on negative rants (sure you don’t, Los), but I was thinking about things that bother me the other day, and I got to thinking that quite a few of said things probably bother only me. I figured I’d list a bunch of these, and see (a) if you agree with any of them, and (B) solicit things you think only bother you as well. So, without further adieu, the list:
* Steak and Eggs bothers me – one is breakfast and one is dinner. They should not be mixed. It’s like crossing streams in Ghostbusters.
* Not having a choice for a side besides hash-browns at restaurants for breakfast – I hate hash-browns, and there should be an alternative for idiots (like me) who are hard to please … like, say tater tots?
* People who don’t use their turn-signals – If you are a religious reader of this blog, you already know this. I am so fanatical, that I think you should even use the turn signal at 4:00 in the morning when nobody else is on the road.
* The little “Zoom-Zoom” kid from the Mazda commercials – I so desperately wanted one of the Mazda drivers to “accidentally” run him over. The kid haunted my dreams for many nights a few years ago.
* Chili with beans – Did you know that original chili is made without beans? That’s the one I prefer, because I, too, am an original.
* Meter Maids in the city of Philadelphia – My god, these animals hide behind trees, trash cans, and mailboxes, waiting for meters to run out so they can get their fancy little ticket books out to write people tickets. These people have the power to create bad.
* NASCAR and Country Music – Enough already! We get it! The south is so “in” right now.
* News Anchors and weather people who try to have a “spontaneous” conversation – Seriously, guys, nobody is buying it. You guys are about as interesting as a Saltine.
* Gas stations that charge for air – As if bending us over and sticking the gas nozzle in isn’t enough, you still have to charge for air????
* Serving Size recommendations for food – Who in the world can only eat 3 chocolate chip cookies??? Who the hell is making these suggestions, Nicole Richie?
Writer’s Workshop: Passing The Baton
4 months ago
8 comments:
I agree with a couple of these, others.... well, let's just say I think you're a freaking nutcase.
Things that bother me:
* Self Righteous Vegetarians - If you wanna be super healthy and all that, good for you. But don't shove your 'healthy' ways down my throat. For instance, years back I went to my cousin's wedding, both him and his old lady are veges. All the food at their reception was vege. stuff. Like peanut soup! Hey, not everyone enjoys this crap, how about making a menu everyone can enjoy! Don't like it that I eat animals, well, fuck off, steak is tasty!
* Tailgaters - Not the kind going to sports games or concerts, them folks are cool. I'm talking about the speeding assholes who think they own the road. Here's a few tips for you, you fucks - A. I can only go as fast as the person in front of me is going. B. Riding my ass is NOT going to make me drive faster, in fact, I'll slow down just to inconvience your self-important ego a little more. C. I will get out of your way if you give me a fucking chance, you impatient little shit.
* An over-abundance of car commercials - Seeing tons of commercials about the new Explorer or Tahoe or Altima or Focus or Intrepid is NOT going to make me rush out and buy a new car. Seeing tons of car commercials with neato special effects is NOT going to make me rush out and buy a new car. Idiots.
* Reality TV - I really hate this shit. It's stupid. 'nuff said.
* Littering - Seriously, are you that impatient driving home that you have to throw your trash or cigarette butts out the window instead of waiting to put it in a trashcan or dumpster? Probably the same people as the tailgaters. I hope you all get hit by a meteor.
* Late fees - OK, I had 5$ on my credit card... just 5$. I missed the payment by 3 days... They charged me a 15$ late fee for the 5$ on my card. Hey, banks, FUCK YOU.
* Bad hygiene - Yeeesh, brush your teeth, comb that hair... trim. those. nails.
* Unwanted Conversation - People who butt into conversations who have no right or no knowledge of the subject. Especially when they ACT like they have knowledge of the subject. If I wanted to talk to you, I would say, "Hey, what do you think?"
Steak and eggs only bothers you. I love the idea.
Tater tots are practically the same thing as hash browns. So you are definitely a nutcase there.
The other stuff... yeah, you ave a point with most of them.
I can't think of anything that only bothers me. I'm bothered by a lot of things that other people are bothered by.
Go easy on the country music...Slowly back away from the country music. I will concede NASCAR... I have never understood cars going around in circles for a trophy (never mind the millions of dollars) Then again, this is changing the subject.
Steak and Eggs is a "breakfast for the drunk and Atkins lovers. High Protein and at 3 in the morning pissed drunk it's a perfect combo fro the indecisive! ;o) I do like the crossing stream analogy. ;o) Where are you eating breakfast so I DONT go, that they don't have the side option of Grits, Biscuits and Gravy, Additional eggs or cereal??? EEEKKK
****Not using the directional**** Classic! Are you sure you don't live in PHX??? These people NEVER use their directional.. grrrrr
*Gas stations actually have a switch inside that they will give it to you for free if you go in and ask...I think the annoyance is that you have to GO inside and ask them for the air. ;o)
Serving sizes...ewwww check out the list for McDonald's sometime. LOL ;o) who knew that a Big Mac was 1000 calories??? WOW.(OK so I might be over exaggerating a bit!)
I shouldn't mix country music with NASCAR, sorry about that Superstar. I do like a handful of country songs - Cheap Seats by Alabama, and some Garth Brooks songs come to mind.
I live in Philly - we don't really have a choice for breakfast sides - it's home fries or hash browns (same thing). Give me grits, give me tater tots, give me french fries- anything but Home Fries!!!!!!!
Amen to all those (although I am a country music fan you couldn't PAY me to watch NASCAR)
*Jewelry Commercials - I despise the fact that every holiday these vultures of male insecurity and materialistic she-beasts plant in everyone's mine that "Every Kiss begins with K" and it's just shit if it didn't come from Jared.
*Paris Hilton - since when is being white trash in a Juicy jumpsuit tantamount to being a celebrity?
*People who call 911 because they have a papercut. Get a Bandaid moron, people are dying.
The turn signal thing kills me.
Other things that bother me are people who sneeze but dont cover thier mouths.
When I order a sandwhich with no mayo and mayo is all over it.
When pedestrians think they have the right of way when the light is green.
Smokers bother me. Seriously would you eat a piece of meat with chemicals laced throughout it?
I LOATHE people that don't use turn signals too!! I don't get that mad if say you're on a highway and there aren't too many cars around and you notice someone do this, but if you're in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic and you decide to cut me off without using your effin' turn signal then you deserve to have your finger nails ripped off. Slowly.
And I totally thought to myself "Aren't tater tots kind of the same thing as hash browns" when I read that, hahaha, so I think Smokin' Steve has a point.
People that don't use turn signals, Amen to that, I hate that too. Country music and Nascar also annoy me. You are preaching to the choir on those two.
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