Friday, May 26, 2006

Number 2's

I don’t have much time this weekend, but wanted to give ya something to read in case you are bored, or like to read my posts whilst in the crapper. I figured I’d do a fitting post regarding great “Number 2” lines that I’ve heard. I have an entire list of ‘em on my old website (http://losrulz.tripod.com/number_2.htm), and figured I’d share some of my favorites with you. If you have any that you’d like to share, please let me know!

Here they are in no particular order:

* "I just mailed a turd to the sewer using Crapper's Same-Day Delivery."
* "I'm gonna pay a visit to the Angry Chair.”
* "I've got a meeting to attend at the oval office."
* “I just returned from hangin' bananas."
* "I have to unleash the party snakes."
* "I'm going to solid fart."
* "I'm going to 'give the brown tongue.'"
* "Time to go drown some brown."
* "I just flew the toilet kite."
* "I just tattooed the toilet."
* "I just dropped some rope."
* "I was just in the fecal position."
* "I ripped off some tree bark."
* "I got some luggage in the trunk."
* “I just released the mud eels from the butt cave."
* "I just created some dark matter."
* "I just 'Clubber Langed' the toilet."
* "I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl."
* "I have to download a fecal file."
* "I have a runner in scoring position."

4 comments:

The Rev said...

You definitely need to post more of these.

My favorite... my ass beat the toilet, 2-0.

Superstar said...

THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!! OMG!!! OK Here are a couple, I can share (thank god for "brothers" from another mother!!!):
* "I have to go pay my water bill"

* "I went to the bathroom and lost 10lbs!"

* "I need to get caught up on the circular reading"

*"I just distroyed the bathroom"

The worst has to be that invisible wall that you hit when you were not aware that someone just went #2!!! Here are some cover up lines to this moment:

*"Were you arrangin' flowers on the back of this toilet? Is that Lilacs??? WHEEEEEWWWWWW EEEEEEEEHHHHH"

* OH...MY...GOD...Child what is wrong with you and your AZZZ"?????

El Padrino said...

These are great.

Just made a batch of brownies is a good one too.

Mama en Fuego said...

* Gonna drop some kids off at the pool
* Pinchin' a loaf