Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Gourmet Critic


I was brainstorming ideas to use to make my blogsite more interesting last night – basically I was running out of stories to bore you with. Then, as I was making Chicken Helper, I realized I had the answer in front of me all along. Every now and then, when I try to make/eat something that I have never made/ate before, I can share my experiences, thoughts, and opinions with you (aren’t you lucky?).

Last night was a perfect situation – I have long been a fan of Hamburger Helper and the many delectable options that the brand offers, from the delightfully creamy cheeseburger macaroni, to the succulent beef pasta – Hamburger Helper is affordable, quick, easy, and delicious. However, my wife and I have never delved into the Chicken Helper side of this Betty Crocker mainstay, and since we were curious (and since we haven’t gone grocery shopping in about a month), we decided we would give this one a try.

The actual flavor of choice that we had in our cupboard was Chicken Teriyaki, and we were hoping this concoction/recipe would make Asians around the world proud. I promise I won’t bore you with the details involved in the preparation, other than one needs a pound of chicken breast cut into one-inch pieces, a tablespoon of margarine, and 2 1/3 cups of hot water. The package provides the rice, the Teriyaki-style cooking mixture, and the topping.

Even though I ate my entire allotment of the “bounty,” I must say that Chicken Helper does not live up to the legend of Hamburger Helper. I’m not sure if I prefer the taste and texture of the ground beef/turkey that is normally used with Hamburger Helper products, or if it was the ridiculously poor quality of the rice that was used. Maybe it was the laughably low count of peas used in the Teriyaki seasoning (I counted 3). Whatever the reasons were, I suggest to all to stay with what works – and that, my friends, is Hamburger Helper, and avoid Chicken Helper at all costs (as an aside, I am willing to try Pork Helper or Seafood Helper, for the sake of you – the reader, if Betty Crocker has the balls to release these to the general public).

16 comments:

Christina_the_wench said...

Chicken Helper Fettucine is good. Try that before you give up on it entirely. Betty needs the cash too you know!

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

This is a good idea. Stay with it. Call it Los' Product Plethora.

"I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine on it's own."

Los said...

Christina - Maybe I'll give it a try - I guess I should stay away for any of the "Helpers" with rice.

Smokin - I like the name, maybe I'll start asking for suggestions. Oh yeah, and nice "Vacation" reference. I fought the urge to put that in the story.

El Padrino said...

order pizza bro

unless you can't get a decent pie where you live
which i can believe...

Los said...

El Padrino - Cocco's Pizza makes a great Cheese-steak pizza.

Dirty Birdie said...

See Chicken Helper just doesn't sound good to me period, although I have fond memories of Hamburger Helper. But then again ever since I got knocked up Chicken itself makes me gag.

Maybe Betty will come out with Spam Helper.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

ElP...

We may not have New York pizza, which is among the best, but we don't lack for pizza in our parts. We're not Boston.

Among my favs... Dave's Pizza in Glenolden, Cocco's Pizza all over Delco, Imperial Pizza of Secane (still the place to get a decent $5 pie), LaRosa's in South Philly, and Lorenzo's in Philly on 4th and South.

El Padrino said...

just cheking...pizza is an essential part of life

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Agreed, Mr Padrino... agreed!

Kristin said...

"Pork Helper"? Are you serious? That just sounds so very, very wrong... but, maybe I just need to get out more.

Los said...

Smokin - Actually Milmont Pizza and Carmen's pizza are both very good as is New London Pizza (and their wings are to die for).

Kristin - I don't think there is currently a Pork Helper, but I figure they're probably looking into it.

mollymcmommy said...

did you just write about chicken helper???!!! i love it you whore! :)

i fully agree with your assessment that it doesn't even compare with hamburger helper :)

m

Steph said...

That sounds gross! Should have just had takeaway, my friend.

Jeff said...

This reminds me of the college friend's wedding weekend, when a bunch of us cut-ups had brunch at one of the city's finest restaurants.

On the menu was squab, the farm-raised version of pigeon, dietary staple of the homeless. So we spent 30+ min naming meals made with pigeon: Blackened Pigeon, Pigeon a la King, Kung Pao Pigeon, Pigeon Cacciatore, etc.

"Pigeon Helper" got the bill brought to our table very quickly.

Dirty Birdie said...

So does this mean you'll take food dares?? {evil grin}

Los said...

It's possible - as long as ham is not involved.