Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Things I hate!

20 Things I Hate:

1. That many restaurants only offer home fries as a side for breakfast dishes – I hate home fries. I think they are purely filler, because restaurants don’t want to give us a plate full of just eggs and meat. I propose that ALL restaurants give you a choice of sides in addition to the home fry, such as French fries, hush puppies, tater tots, or grits. This would make me a happy camper.

2. Philly Radio sucks – If you are looking for cool new modern rock music, this is not the place for you. If you are looking for Zeppelin, Metallica, Ozzy, and Audioslave, you’ll hear one of these groups about every 5 minutes. It’s sickening.

3. I will agree with all the other bloggers with regards to the lack of use of turn signals. I especially hate it with people who are making left-hand turns! Frustrates the hell out of me – I’m sorry, not all of us have developed ESP.

4. The WNBA – no offense to the ladies, but I would rather watch golf, than watch women repeatedly miss layups (I get that enough with the Sixers).

5. People Who Buy Hummers in and around Philadelphia. Are you guys and gals serious????? Are there really that many hills and mountains in the city? If so, I must be missing them. All I know is that they clog up the streets, and guzzle the gas. I hope that all of you who thought you were cool when you bought the Hummer are now pissed that it costs you $379 everytime you have to fill up your tank.

6. These companies that are masking their telemarketing efforts via these “hey, just calling to see how you are doing” phone calls. My cable company has started doing this – I know what you are up to, you maggots! Knock it off!

7. NASCAR – I’ll never figure it out.

8. How Brad Gilbert got another TV show after Everybody Loves Raymond ended. How did this show stay on the air so long? Who was the guy in charge that said, “Yes, we need to give Brad his own show, he deserves it?” How does this guy still have a job?

9. American Idol – Why do you lemmings continue to watch this show? Are you that obsessed with wedding singers?

10. The Phillies Ownership – seriously guys, just sell the team. Nobody trusts you, likes you, nor sympathizes with your phony plight. You’ve made all the money you can, and you’re going to start losing money soon, if you continue to take that giant dump on the field like you have in recent years.

11. Barry Bonds – Please, leave us and our baseball records alone, you big-headed cancer.

12. Ham – I can’t stand it! If you are making ham for dinner and inviting me over, please (a) have some standby food item, or (b) don’t invite me (I won’t mind).

13. Paris Hilton – Now it’s music. When will we get to see her wafy body on a movie screen (and not in a porno house)?

14. High Gas Prices – I’m not sure who to blame, and I know there are many suspects, but I just can’t stand these high prices. I’d rather spend the money on booze.

15. Ladies wrestling on the WWE – Look, I know that many of these women are very talented and very beautiful, but it really is a dropoff, when the ladies are out there wrestling (especially if the clothes stay on). They should be relegated to managing wrestlers.

16. QVC – You may have read my blog entry from a few posts ago. This is what happens when I don’t get my microwave!

17. TV commercials that aren’t funny – If you want me to pay attention to your product, then you better make me laugh. I don’t like your serious Allstate commercials with Cerano from Major League, and I don’t like your poor attempts at humor (Miller Lite and Taco Bell). Make me laugh, dammit!!!!

18. That construction going on right near the airport on I-95 and also the construction going on at 5th and Market Street (in and near Philly). Guys, it’s been over a year (actually, closer to 2 years with 5th and Market). Skyscrapers get built in less time. What the hell is your problem?

19. T.O. – Instant Karma will get you, Mr. Owens. And when it does, you better have a shovel with you, because it’s gonna take you months to dig your way out from under that big steamy pile of sh*t.

20. George Steinbrenner – he single-handedly ruined baseball for many cities (like Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, etc.) with his bottomless pocket-book. Actually, I’m probably more jealous than mad – the ownership in Philly is a travesty.

By the way, I'll tag Reverse and Ink and Stone for this one. Your turn, boys!


Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Everytime I see the Allstate commercial, I keep saying to myself "Cerrano have to wake up bats!"

Christina_the_wench said...

I like it! You did good, grasshopper. Still worried about that ham hatred though....

El Padrino said...

Never understood the army vehicle obsession...

WNBA is so awful

bad drivers, who likes em?

Ham is delicious, your nuts. It's pig, pig is very good. Pshyco.

Only reason to watch ladies rassle is to see if anything "falls off"
yes i'm a prevert.

Steinbrennar is good for baseball. Trust me. If MLB had a cap of some sort then it would be impossible to do what he does. And furthermore the luxury tax he pays is more than enough to compensate for smaller markets.

Dirty Birdie said...

Sadly, Paris has done film. It was called House of Wax and it got crappy reviews. Hence it didn't even show up on your radar. And if I remember correctly, she did have a nude or partially nude scene.

No, I didn't watch the movie, I'd rather let me cat claw out my eyes.

El Padrino said...

Not nude, bra and panties...

the way she died was awesome

Christina_the_wench said...

Any way Paris dies is awesome.

Jeff said...

Philly Radio sucks: to repeat myself,
(1) Philly radio is the best possible ad for Books on Tape.
(2) WMMR is 24 hours of Led Zeppelin and Ozzy, WYSP is 24 hours of Pink Floyd. Yawn.

Cars in PHL do not come equipped with turn signals.

WNBA: let them play vs. (all) 5 men in the stands, randomly-picked. THAT might be interesting ... maybe. Same comment for women's rasslin'.

If my commute were as long as Karl's, I'd buy a Hummer just to run over all the stopped cars on the freeway.

Paris Hilton: the less said, the better.

Allstate ad: I keep hearing, "Jobu no help me hit curve ball. I say, 'F- Jobu.' I hit curve ball myself."

Steinbrenner did not "ruin baseball" in small markets. He's merely a convenient excuse for bad management. Look at small market successes:
* Minnesota: 47-39 and a regular contender (was to be contracted a few years ago)
* Oakland: 1st place, usually makes the playoffs (3rd-lowest payroll in MLB)
* Cleveland: 93-69 last year, 2 games out of AL wild card
* Florida: won 2 World Series in past 10 years, despite twice dismantling the team

Superstar said...

I love American Idol in the try out phase only...I don't care for the 24 to 12...I Love aking fun of the FREAKS that think they are "all that and a bag of chips".

I assure you I am NOT a lemming...

Ink and Stone said...

Hmmm, things I hate...

* Close Minded People, Self Righteous People, Arrogant People.
Don't really need any explanation on this one.

* Golf -
Talk about the most boring "sport" ever invented. Hey rich white guy, hit a little ball, hit it toward a hole, if it lands in the hole you win! Now go find your ball, and go the fuck home. I say we raid all these golf courses and turn them into parks.

* Mainstream Beer -
Seriously, crap like Coors and Bud does NOT taste good. It tastes like watered down piss. (Not that I know what piss tastes like, mind you) There needs to be more good micro-brews like Bell Tower Ale.
Personally, I LOVE Hard Cider. Mmmm, mmm, mmm.

* Reality TV -
There's nothing real about reality TV. It's the worst bunch of tripe out there.

* Self-righteous non-gamers -
People who think gaming is stupid because they don't understand why people like them. It's an escape, it's a form of entertainment, and if well done, it can even be an interactive movie. All because you don't like something doesn't make it stupid.

* Pro Sports -
Too much money goes into these. Too little heart goes into these.

* Worthless people -
A LA Paris Hilton. She has NOTHING to contribute to society. She's not an actress, she's not a musician, she's not even a good porn star. She's a waste of space.

* ABC and the writers of LOST -
ABC for creating such long pauses in between episodes of LOST. IT DRIVES ME FREAKING NUTS.
Ok, with the writers of LOST - it's a love/hate relationship... I love that they right such good plotlines and dialogue, and hate that the write such good plotlines and dialogue.... and they killed off Libby, dammit!

* Politics, Lobbying, and the government -
At one time, the government was "for the People" was it not??? Now it's "for the Corporations". The only way to change the government now, is to dissolve the government. But as long as there are psychos in office, we will never have control.

* Lima Beans -
Freaking Ew... ok?

* Weasels and Mooses -
For making me love them so.

* Color Theory -
I'm currently taking a color theory class... I swear the color order system of artists is screwy... there's something just not right about it. I don't have my finger on it quite yet, but it has to do with the relationship of complimentary colors, split complimentary colors, and unequal values in the artist's color wheel.
If all other complintary hues have similar values, yet Yellow and Blue-Violet don't... somethings wrong!

* Religous Extremism -
Get over yourselves. I don't know and NEITHER DO YOU.

* Current modern mainstream music -
If you look this up in the dictionary, it says to look at the definition of the word SUCK.

* Insomnia -
I finally got over 3 days of it, I feel better... and not as psychotic anymore. :)

That's all for now... I could keep on going for pages.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

More Cerrano wisdom...

"Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come."

"Jesus, I like him very much. But he no help with curveball."

Dirty Birdie said...

LOL - I totally forgot he was the crazy Jamacain (?) guy.

Funniest commercial ever was the Superbowl commercial with the clown suit where when he drinks the beer it looks like he's shoving it up his ass....that kills me, even now.