Thursday, January 04, 2007

I Got Bruced!

Do you remember watching a movie as a child that you loved, and then years later, you watched it again and realized it was a genuine grade A piece of crap? Me too. This happened to me not too long ago. I had remembered going to the movies when I was around 8 or 9 to see “They Call Me Bruce.”

I remember coming out of the theatre thinking that this was probably the funniest movie that I was ever going to see. I was elated, yet sad, because I would never laugh as hard as I did during this “gem.” I remember going to the Mac Dade Mall with my cousins to view this “masterpiece.” For months afterwards, we couldn’t stop talking about this movie, and quoting some of the better lines, like, “I once got hit by a Toyota … oh what a feeling!”

A few months ago, whilst in Best Buy, I was perusing the discount DVD section, when, like a mythical sign from God, “They Call Me Bruce” literally fell into my hands. At $5.00, I could relive my childhood and own one of the all-time greatest flicks. I hurriedly rushed to the cash register, handing her the Lincoln, and waited eagerly for my workday to end.

On the ride home, I excitedly told my wife about this wonderful purchase, and explained to her how her life would change after watching this classic. The problem is that the movie absolutely sucked. It was so bad, that I started shaking and shivering, with thoughts of a misguided childhood full of lies running amuck in my mind. How could this be, I thought.

On a recent ride to work with my friend, Slant, I explained to him what had happened. We discussed this for nearly the entire 45-minute ride, and came up with a term for this. What had happened to me was that I “Got Bruced.” Slant and I came up with a couple of other flicks that gave us a severe Brucing – some of the more memorable ones include “Caveman,” “In God We Trust,” and “Modern Problems.” I am curious as to whether or not any of you got Bruced before, and which movies gave you a good Brucing.


Jeff said...

Uh ... this post's title sounds like you went back to Woody's.

Fairmaiden327 said...

This was retarded.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

i'm coming over tonight, and we will watch that movie together.

I, too, saw it in the Mac Dade Mall back in the day. I, too, thought it was a gem at the time. I also saw it for free. Mom had connections.

I guess Sheena, Queen of the jungle is my Bruce movie. The only reason I saw it 7 times (for free) was that Tanya Roberts got naked.

Steph said...

Teenage mutant ninja turtle movie.
God the acting was sooo BAD!

Snowelf said...

You know, I keep trying to think of something, but I seem to have the opposite problem. I see something once and I hate it, and then I see it again and I start to like it. I've done this with Tombstone, Austin Powers, and Starship Troopers and a whole bunch more.

I will tell you, my most hated movie is Dirty Dancing. Barf!


mollymcmommy said...

i've never heard of that that movie, like ever. where the heck was i?!?

Reverse said...

"No you Got Bruced!"

I'm shocked They Call Me Bruce doesn't hold up... SHOCKED!

Superstar said...

~Looks confused~
Who watches B movies from the 80'S Anyway???
~rolls eyes~
I am trying to think of movies...I just keep coming up blank...there are some songs on the radio that would qualify!

Eric said...

I've never heard of any of those movies you mentioned. I can say that this weekend I had whatever the opposite of getting Bruced is. I watched Roadhouse for the first time in like 13 years and it was amazing. By amazing I obviously mean that it was a horrible movie, but so horrible that it might just be the best movie ever.