News Flash, ladies and gentleman. It’s Sunday, and Anna Nicole is still dead. I don’t want to sound insensitive here, but why are we covering this like somebody who discovered the cure for world hunger has just passed away? Seriously, did she deserve this much attention?
Now I have nothing against Anna Nicole, other than that god-awful show that the E Channel put out on her … oh, that and her voice – one could tell she was on TV by opening the window and hearing the collective howls of dogs everywhere. O.K., I admit that I enjoyed her Playboy pictures in the past (probably on more than one occasion, if you get what I mean). But besides that, I’m still having trouble figuring out what all the hubbub is all about – but I thought I’d put together a list of plusses and minuses.
Plusses –
1. Her cans … really, that’s all I can think of with her … and her cans weren’t even real … I heard that there are a ton of scars on ‘em, and that may end up making it a minus.
2. Her appearance in the Naked Gun – just because that movie was so darn funny.
Minuses –
1. Her voice – Personally, I’d rather hear somebody with a “bad disposition” repeatedly scratch a chalk-board.
2. Her Figure – Oprah Winfrey thinks that she had trouble maintaining a stable weight.
3. Her uncommon ditziness – Tori Spelling, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the gang are jealous.
4. The fact that she’s a mother – I don’t want to make any false judgements, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that being a son or daughter of hers is probably not the healthiest thing in the world. Just because I like to look at positives, this death may be the her daughter's best chance at a normal life.
5. Her Trim Spa Commercials – If anything, these made me hate Trim Spa … but, what is this company gonna do now?
6. The immense media attention she got in life – I’m still scratching my head on this one. She added nothing to anything, but people still just HAD to watch her.
7. Her “marriage” to that old guy with a lot of money – Not only was she a ditz, but she was a conniving ditz who knew how to use her “ass-ets.” She repulsed me after this.
8. That movie she was in, back in the mid 1990’s – This made Ishtar look like Gone With the Wind times 10.
There are many more minuses that I could’ve come up with, but I figure you got the idea. Of course, the “news journalists” love this, because the stories practically write themselves. The problem is, much like any other “tragedies,” this will supersaturate media outlets for weeks (and probably months) to come.
Seriously, what other “interesting” and deep facts can we find out about this bimbo? Does it warrant hundreds of hours of reports? I think not. Of course, I’m the guy that doesn’t get the national fascination surrounding American Idol, so my finger isn’t really on the pulse of the nation. Let me once again say that I don’t wish death on anybody (except Barry Bonds), and I’m certainly not reveling in her tragic death, but isn’t there more important stuff to report on?
10 comments:
Here's why her death is so newsworthy: because it will cause a wave of job cuts for journalists.
I don't hate Anna Nicole (as much as you do apparently ;) ), but honestly, a whole 20/20 on her life?! I KNOW there is better stuff to report on than that. Like Snicker's commercials--hee hee--just kidding!
--snow
p.s. Cashmere came on the radio the other day and I promptly changed the station in your honor. :)
Agreed. The only thing that suprises me is that she lived THIS long. Why anyone is shocked by her death, or even interested is beyond me.
The train wreck theory:
You can't help but look at a train wreck. And since we've been hearing about this ongoing train wreck on a near daily basis for the past year (well those of us that listen to Preston and Steve)- we're strangely fascinated by the whole thing.
I'd expect a similar reaction to other train wrecks. I'm looking at you Miss. Lohan.
But she did do a soft core porn video with her involved in girl on girl action which was kinda hot. So she did contribute something good to this world.
It won't be long until we hear Barry Bonds and the term "grapefruit sized tumor" in the same sentence. With the combination of massive amount of steriods and karma there's no way this won't happen.
People die. Move on.
Yeah, I agree, she was not so facinating a person that she deserves all the attention she got. However as far as the old man is concerned... she as only one of many strippers he got busy with, she just happens to be the one he married. He knew damn well what he was doing. If his family should hate anyone, it's him. He litterally screwed them out of an inheritance.
I think it was the Trim Spa that killed her.
I can't beleive you admit to jerking off to that (realllllllllllllllllllly rich pig.)
Jeff - Ah, but they still have life to them with trying to "figure out" who the father of her daughter is...
Snow Elf - Good work - you must swear off of the Led Zep ... unless it's a song that isn't played very often.
Steph - She should've died a few years ago - she outlived all expectations.
Sir Geb - I think Nicole Ritchie will die before Lohan.
Rev - Never heard of the soft core porn vid - if I had seen it, I might not have been so mean to her in this post.
Eric - We should have a parade when that happens!
Christina - well put!
DB - I am certainly not blaming her for the old man's retardedness.
Reverse - I've pleasured myself to worse.
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