Thursday, July 12, 2007

I am Man!!!!!!

On Sunday morning, as I got into my car on my way to Target, I noticed something wrong with my car – as luck would have it, I had somehow acquired a flat tire … and this sucker was all the way flat … not a little flat or anything like that, but FULL BLOWN FLAT. What a pain in the keester. I had a minature air compressor in my car, and decided to try blowing this tire up … and I did manage to get some air in there … enough to get me to the gas station up the street, where I proceeded to fill it up fully. The leak, thankfully, was a slow leak – I was able to make it to Wal Mart, purchase some Fix-a-Flat, and fill my tire with it – thankfully, I bought two, because the first one exploded onto me (the tube, for some reason was weak) – and I was able to give some fellow shoppers a good laugh.

I monitored the tire, and for the most part, the leak was controlled. I was hoping the tire would last me until the weekend, where I wouldn’t have to waste any work time taking care of the situation … and for a few days, the tire was fine … until Wednesday evening, on the ride home from work …. In the middle of a nice rain shower … in blistering heat and humidity. The tire finally gave, and the air compressor was no longer providing any relief … I immediately called roadside assistance, as I didn’t want to go to the trouble of changing my tire in the weather conditions … and probably because I’ve never actually changed a tire by myself before. Roadside assistance would take an hour to get to me … I knew what I had to do … BECOME A MAN!First, I read the owner’s manual, and found the jack and spare tire. Next, I loosened all the bolts except for one … this bolt was different than the rest, and I couldn’t figure out where the tool was to use on this. It took me another 20 minutes to actually find this tool – nope, not in the emergency kit … nope, not anywhere else in the trunk … let me check the emergency kit again … nope, not in the first aid kit. Finally, I looked in the glove compartment, and to my surprise, I found the tool! I loosened that bolt as well, put the jack in place, and jacked up the car. I removed the flat, replaced it with the spare, and was on my way … it took me about 10 minutes, after I figured everything out.

Was I pissed about the flat tire and weather conditions? You betcha. But, as I continued my journey home, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride and pure manliness … almost making the entire ordeal worth it … almost.

11 comments:

Jeff said...

Which of these things in the first 2 lines of this post is not like the others?
1. I am Man!!!!!!
2. Going to Target.
3. Your picture.

Did you sniff your own pits when you got home?

Did you, ahem, "manhandle" your new hero?

snowelf said...

I'm very impressed, Los!
I make men change my tires, not because I don't know how, but because I'm not strong enough to get the bolts off!! Whenever I try to tell them I can do it if they just will loosen the bolts, they just tell me to forget it and change the whole thing for me!

--snow

sirgeb said...

way to not Schrute that one up!

ToddPacker said...

los real men use their bare hands to change tires... no need for silly tools

Snow White said...

I'm with Snowelf... I don't change tires. I gues I could if I had to... but I never have! Good job!!

El Padrino said...

but can you change your own oil?

El Padrino said...

and did you drink your own piss?

Fairmaiden327 said...

you are so manly. almost caveman manly. i however portrayed a damsel in distress when i had a flat two weeks ago. titty shirts really do work.

Steph said...

Haaaaaaaaahah! I hope you scratched your nuts, farted and burped loudly when you were done. That's what a REAL man is all about ;)

Los said...

Jeff - Thanks man, I knew I could count on you to put this into perspective.

Snowelf - Sneaky move!

Sirgeb - Many opportunities to Schrute it up, and I somehow didn't ...

TP - I've never claimed to be a real man.

Snow White - It's always easier to let someone else do it.

ElP - I can add my own oil, and I'm pretty good with reading instructions and figuring things out ... I just don't like the whole disposal of oil stuff.

FM - Funny, the titty shirts didn't work for me ... sigh.

Steph - I think I even tried to light one of my farts on fire ...

Snow White said...

Okay... I had tire trouble yesterday, and I'm blaming YOU. LOL Not really, but it was quite a coincidence that I would have a nail/screw in my tire the week you post about it. Some air and a can of fix-a-flat are holdin' it for now. Guess I'm buying myself a set of new tires for my birthday. sigh! Maybe it's a blessing in disguise since my dad says I do need new tires! Cheers!