Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stoppage Time, Jr.

You call it What??

So, I accidentally clicked on the Whoopi Goldberg radio show this morning – how the hell does she have a morning show now? Is this the next rung of the ladder after Hollywood Squares? I guess she can’t really do porn, because she is just way too damb ugly.

Anyway, that’s not what I’m blogging about today (although, certainly a blog about what Whoopi will do next is certainly one that that should be done by somebody in the future). She mentioned something about all these television commercials about Erectile Dysfunction that are smothering our TV airwaves. And, although I agree with her about this – it is getting out of hand, kind of like all of those Sally Struthers commercials in the late 1980’s – I have a different take on this.

I’ve noticed that a lot of these commercials are calling it “E.D.” Is this the new cool nickname for it? Does Erectile Dysfunction even need a cool nickname? Should we start having nicknames for all illnesses to make them sound cool? Like for instance, “I was diagnosed with the G-Hizzy by my doctor last night (G-Hizzy would of course be Genital Herpes). Or, I came down with the T-Fun a few weeks ago (Toenail Fungus). Are drug companies trying to “sexify” personal illnesses so that they can increase their business? I gotta know, because I’m really not liking the term E.D. Please, help me with this one.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Not that most of you care, but I had my fantasy draft last night, and I had the number one pick. I took Shaun Alexander, because I really want to get screwed by the Madden jinx. Here are my other picks:

QB'/s – Matt Hasselback, Jon Kitna
RB's - Shaun Alexander, Chester Taylor, Kevin Jones, Ahman Green
WR - Hines Ward, Derrick Mason, Matt Jones, Lee Evans
TE - Kellen Winslow, JR, Vernon Davis
K - Jay Feely, Nate Kaeding
DEF - Seattle, Kansas City

Everybody loves their team after the draft, and I’m no exception. Sure, I’m a little light on Wide Receiver, but our league generally favors running backs and QB’s, and I think I did pretty well with these … of course, injuries are always the wild card. Hopefully, Seattle doesn’t get the Super Bowl hangover.


Christina_the_wench said...

Kitna? For real? That's a good thing? And I live in Detroit.

Yes, I have a fantasy football addict at home and he has converted me this year. Pray for me.

Superstar said...

E.D. is such a stoppage subject. LOL ;o) I mean there is no "cool" way to tell your Dr. "UM Hi I coulodn't perform last night w/ the wife..." Isn't a convo that any Man would want to have...eveR!!!

I guess they had to come up w/ a marketable way to "educate" the public about it...Like "limp dick" would be allowed on TV...COME on people....LOL ;o)

I like Whoopi...I don't know if I would enjoy her on radio...hmmmm is it on an XM channel?

Never done any of the fantasy football stuff....I have enought to keep up with weekly picks...LOL ;o)

Ink and Stone said...

Hemmoroids... "The Hemmies"
Gonorhea... "Go-no-hizzA"
Chlamydia... "Clapt up"
Whooping Cough... "Hoot and Howl"
Syphilis... "Syph-a-licious"
Eczema... "Zema E"
Chicken Pox... "KFC Blues"
Measles... "Red Mizzies"
Mumps... "Mush Mouth"
Bird Flu... "Tweetin' Nasty"
Gingivitis... "Da Grill Sickness"

Jeff said...

E.D. = Stage Fright. As in, every time Whoopi Goldberg makes a public appearance, demand for stage fright drugs increases.

You had the #1 pick and DIDN'T take the Big Johnson? I can see the #2 guy doing his best Reggie Bush impersonation: "Cool, I'll take LJ. That was stupid."

Actually, I like your team ... but I still hope Kevin Jones gets hurt. Still won't forgive him for his college selection press conference. Punk.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

You will regret taking Alexander with #1. You could have had him with the #3 pick.

Snowelf said...

I happen to like Matt and Shaun. :)
(as I love football and have been known to jump up and down from the couch, I feel it's fair being on a first name basis with the guys..)

I'm with you on the Seahawks though...I hope Seattle doesn't get all crappy this season just because that seems to be the freakin' pattern in football. I am still bummed about their loss...that was just painful...

Anyway, Good luck, Los!!

Los said...

Christina - Martz is running the offense in Detroit this here. He did pretty well in St. Louis.

Superstar - Whoopi is on regular radio here in Philly. I'm sure it won't last long.

Ink - Nice work!

Jeff - Two words - Herrmann Edwards.

Smokin' - How many fantasy championships have you won?

Snow Elf - Holmgren's usually pretty good at keeping a team sharp.

El Padrino said...

QB- Solid
RB- LJ was the #1 choice but SA is awesome and Chester is pretty good #2-- Vikes have a great offensive line
WR- like you said, little weak
TE- could be a good year for Winslow and Davis is a freak
K- excellent
Def- Seattle very underated, they were #1 last year... who knew that besides me? KC is putrid, your a bonhead for taking them, you'll drop them on the waiver wire by week 2

overall good squad, good luck

Bob Kaelin said...

Hopefully Winslow won't get injured again for your sake. 2 games in 2 years...kind of a scary choice to make but when healthy, I hear he's good. Good luck with that one though.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

I won one about 5 years ago, but it wasn't a money league.

Jeff said...

Can't believe I missed this one before ... Karl's team is like the old gay joke: this year he's a Tight End, by next year hopes be a Wide Receiver.

Better hope Seattle doesn't repeat the Super Bowl Jinx. Coach focus is nice, but Owens didn't sink the Eagles last year -- it was McNabb's injury. Likewise, Carolina losing 3 RBs the year before.

Kitna makes a good backup QB, but with some risk since Martz has a history of getting his QBs killed.

Alexander will do well for you. Really like you getting Taylor, and Green as your #4 RB is a good gamble -- a steal if he's healthy.

WR might be thin, but every year most studs underperform a number of journeymen. Winslow is also a huge risk, though drafting him mid-to-late is a reasonable risk.

KC's defense is one more reason to take Larry Johnson #1 -- he'll be on the field more than Alexander. And Edwards runs more than Vermeil.

Snowelf said...

Being from StL...Martz is pretty okay...he has a rep for being an ass, but hey, I guess that's good football right?
The Rams really are my favorite, so I have to always root for them by default. ;)