Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Stoppage Time

If it smells like a fox …
So, T.O. is causing ripples in Dallas already, eh? I have to admit that even I am shocked at how quickly this schmuck is rocking the boat in Big D. In case you hadn’t heard, Owens has yet to practice with the ‘Boys because of a hamstring injury (something he apparently complains about each and every offseason), AND he decided to skip his team’s first preseason game, AND apparently he decided to skip out on a book signing. Geez, I have no idea why T.O. is so misunderstood - he seems like a great guy. He has quickly reached Barry Bonds status with me (not a good thing), and I hope that somebody lays him out really good this season - to the point where he has trouble remembering if his name is T.O. or O.T. By the way, if things continue to sour in Dallas, I already have his next excuse lined up (remember, you heard it here first):

“The NFL is out to get me! They are intimidated with the star-power that I possess, and have asked all the other teams to mistreat me. They want me out of the game, and continually make up stories about how bad of a guy I am.” Mark it down, folks.

Pluto No Longer a Planet?
So, apparently, a bunch of scientists from around the world came together to come up with a definition of what a planet really is. Apparently these egg-heads are having a heated debate on whether or not Pluto should still be considered a planet. Guys, seriously, we’ve been calling it a planet for so long, why not leave it that way, instead of confusing society. Is it really that big of an issue at this point? Don’t we have more important things to worry about than this? Why should we care about this anyway? If Pluto is all of the sudden no longer considered a planet, will this cause sudden typhoons and earthquakes across our own planet? Just keep it that way. Besides, in my opinion, it is the second coolest named planet in our solar system (just behind Neptune).

Nice Headline has a headline “Bill Gates Pumping Cash Into AIDS-Blocking Gel.” Anybody else find this as funny as I did? Could CNN have used another word instead of “Pumping,” like maybe “donating” or “giving?”

And You’re a Sports Network?
I’ve noticed a lot more dart tournaments on ESPN in recent weeks. It got me to thinkin’. ESPN shows a lot of darts and a lot of poker. Additionally, they show bowling. Should any of these really be considered sports? Are all of these fun? Absolutely. But just because they are fun, and competitive, does this mean they are sports? Competitive eating can be fun and certainly competitive, but surely, this can’t be considered a sport, can it? Where do we draw the line with regards to sports? Is ESPN coming dangerously close to becoming what MTV is to music … or lack thereof? You know, I considered ESPN more of a sports network when they were showing Roller Derby (I was a big fan of the Bay City Rollers).


El Padrino said...

Darts and bowling are definetely sports. Poker is borderline.
Competitve Eating is not a sport.


Terrel Owens is an asshole. It's really that simple.

Superstar said...

T.O. What a baby...with all the complaining...I am sure he is losing all his endorcments...which is really how all athletes make money!

LOL ;-P EL stole mine...URANUS!!! I can't help it..It's just funny...U-R-Anus! LOL ;o)

Better look out the Dart players will be throwing sharp objects your way. I have a couple of bars that I will not go to at certain times with the blinking lights for that very reason...I nearly got my lights ruined one night...they are very competitive and SERIOUS about their games!!!!~dodges perfect bullseye~ phew that was close!

Jeff said...

Soon T.O. will stand for Tuna Offal.

Pluto: Scientists need to find space in the galaxy for T.O.'s head, which is so big it has its own gravitational pull.

Headline: Good thing CNN rejected "ramming" and

Sports: It's not a sport if scoring is by judges and not refs (except boxing, only because of the KO). If drinking improves your score, it's not a sport. If participation reduces your athletic ability, it's not a sport. Also the WNBA.

ESPN is ridiculously hypocritical. Consider:
* ESPN writes articles about out-of-control little league parents, then televises Little League regional early-round games.
* ESPN preaches about all supplements (including safe, legal ones), then gives Barry Bonds his own show.
* ESPN laments lack of team play but has renamed the 4 seasons Bonds, T.O., Kobe, and Tyson; and renamed the major holidays Ricky Williams, Maurice Clarett, and Randy Moss.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

ESPN was originally created as a combination of entertainment and sports. So to me, this programming isn't a stretch.

Los said...

El Padrino - Ba-da-bing!

Superstar - I love darts, but I'm not sure I can consider it a sport.

Jeff - Love the rules! But, what about Babe Ruth - didn't he drink before games?

Smokin' - I'm pretty sure that no ESPN people are reading this blog, so you don't have to kiss their asses here.

Jeff said...

Babe Ruth was great despite his drinking, not because of it. No way alcohol helped him duck from a 90 mph fastball at his head, or hit a curve ball.

Softball, however, is a borderline case. Alcohol doesn't help your play, but the game wouldn't exist without the keg at 2nd Base.

Gambling is a sport to Pete Rose, Lenny Dykstra, Michael Jordan, and allegedly Rick Tocchet. Nobody else qualifies.

Corey & Carson said...

I'm a science teacher, and I don't give a damn what the say about Pluto now not being a planet. That really fucks up my mnemonic system!

Reverse said...

I'd love to see a reality show on ESPN starring; T.O., Barry Bonds,and... and... and... that's all I got. Imagine the drama.

Christina_the_wench said...

The vision of Bill Gates pumping anything is ruining my lunch. Thank you, Los.