Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter Fools...

Looking back to when I was a kid during Easter, I realize the lengths my parents went to pull the wool over my head … and how willing I was to go along with everything. I mean, think about it – we would spend an afternoon painting Easter eggs, and then I would be told that an Easter bunny would come around, take those eggs, and hide them in my yard. Why on Earth couldn’t the Easter bunny just paint the eggs him (or her) self, and then hide them. Certainly, this bunny did not match up to Santa Claus in the least. However, for some reason, I never questioned this, and I still believed in the Easter bunny.

On Easter, when I was young, it rained, so the “Easter Bunny” had to hide the eggs inside the house. I was freaked out by this. How in tarnations (yeah, I used the word tarnations … what are you gonna do about it?) did the bunny get inside in the first place? I was concerned about a bunny getting in the house, but never once concerned about a big fat man with a large bag coming into my house every year. Still, after finding the eggs and Easter baskets filled with chocolate, my fear for the bunny subsided.

But probably the biggest “fear” I had on Easter Sunday was the fear of what kind of suit my mom was going to make me wear to church that day. Far and away my least favorite of these was the tan 3-piece suit she made me put on, on more than one occasion. I looked like a giant pound-cake. Not only that, but the cheap polyester material that the suit was made of, always made sitting through church and Sunday school nearly impossible. I dreaded it. My mom always tried to bribe me by taking me across the street afterwards to Davis’s Trading Post, where I would have to make the tough decision on purchasing baseball cards, Mork and Mindy cards, or a Reggie candy bar. Ah, the memories.

I know, I know – I’ve totally talked about the “bad” side of Easter … not going into the true meaning. But seriously, can you forgive me? I was just a little kid at the time.


The Rev said...

From the Urban dictionary...

1. tarnations

Another word for hell also see Heck. Mainly used in the southern part of the United States in the late 19th to early to mid 20th centuries.

1. What in tarnations is going on here?
2. What in tarnations are you doing to that cow Billy Bob?
3. Where in tarnations did I put my corncob buttplug?

Jeff said...

Here in Philly, having a fat man in your house isn't all that strange. He's probably a relative. And so is his large bag.

The Easter Bunny also clucked.

Mork and Mindy cards? I was wrong about you taking Prescription-Strength Dork pills Friday. Clearly you had Dork Implant Surgery as a child.

El Padrino said...

as long as i got some candy i believed

Ink and Stone said...

Dork Implant Surgery! Hahahahahaaaa.

I remember searching for colored eggs on Easter and getting big ole baskets of candy. I never really liked religion, even at a young age, but I loved candy!

Eric said...

Also I think the idea of a 6' tall bunny should scare the shit out of kids but it doesn't. Weird.

minijonb said...

I thought you were going to say you had been molested by the Easter bunny... that would be some seriously messed up shit!

Los said...

Rev - I feel educated!
Jeff - I was 7 at the time ... I think I still have those cards.
ElP - I think it was bribery, right?
Ink - Why you, I oughta!
Eric - Yeah, big bunny delivering eggs ... how did that one happen?
Minijonb - God, I hope I wasn't molested.

Steph said...

At least you painted eggs and went to church. My parentals didn't even make us do THAT. We just woke up on Easter Sunday to tonnes and tonnes of chocolate eggs and bunnies.
Sugar coma's were so fun back then.

Superstar said...

I am beeming with joy that you are using "Tarnation"!!!!
LOL ;o)

BTW I am laughing at the idea that your Inga put you in a yellow, baby blue, and mint green plaid suit jacket and matching pants...I am only using my imagination, as you didn't describe your most hidious suit! ;o)

My Mom always made my sister and I wear matching outfits...right down to the black patten leather shoes. So there I was the FAT one looking even BIGGER and FATTER next to my pettit sister in her perfect fitting dress. While mine wlays hit me RIGHT in the tummy showing off just how bad horizontal strips look on ANYONE!!!
~rolls eyes~
Thank GAWD for the 80's and 90's!