Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The Annual 4+ Hours of Hell...

My parents have done and continue to do so much for me, that I could never turn down their request that I (and Sue) attend the annual “Vereinigte Saenger – Saengerbund,” event. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? So, what exactly is this, you may be asking. In a nutshell, members of different German choruses throughout the Philadelphia area get together and perform classic German songs. My dad is part of one of these groups, the Delaware Saengerbund – spending a day with the family and watching my dad perform is the least I could do …

But man, it ain’t easy, folks. First of all, mom and dad treat us to a late lunch (or early dinner) at the Cannstatter (the German club). At one time, the food there was excellent … sadly, that was a long time ago. The salad is set up “banquet style,” in which you go up to a buffet table, and scoop lettuce out of a large steel bowl that is sitting in a tub of ice. Toppings and salad dressing are available next to the tub, but the “Chef’s special” salad dressing looks as if it was already digested once.

The soup is ok, but let’s face it – it’s kind of tough to screw up soup, right? I ordered the prime rib, which unfortunately probably should’ve been renamed prime-fat. Amazingly enough, the chef was able to completely overcook one side, and barely heat the other side – a culinary feat! Oh, and it took more than an hour to even get the food – it was as if the chef was outside locating the road-kill to cook for this splendid meal.

The waitress was about as friendly and welcoming as a lake filled with piranhas, and her knowledge of the beer selection was akin to a five-year-old’s knowledge of driving a MAC truck. Oh, and I told you this was a German club/restaurant, right? Well, at one point, I actually heard La Cucaracha playing over the loudspeaker – I was informed by my uncle (hopefully jokingly) that it was originally a German song – my brother said it was originally titled “Das Cucaracha.”

But, as bad as the dinner was, the actual concert was even more brutal. There were six German groups, ranging from old to ancient. Some groups were better than others, but none were great. The only thing that got us through the event was the notes my brother, wife, and I made on each of the performances. Hopefully, my brother kept the notes – I’ll try to scan them and post them … I think you’ll get a laugh.
Again, I’m happy to do this once a year for my parents … thankfully, it is only once a year.

12 comments:

Lisa said...

I must have the Lawrence Welk gene ... it sounds like fun (except for the half raw, half torched prime rib) ..... Barbra Peapod

Jeff said...

Do they at least have Hitler on Ice?

Can't say I'm surprised about the food. The local Italian clubs are pretty bad -- and how hard is it to cook pasta? Sad that these clubs have declined so far.

Do you wear lederhosen for your folks? (Do I really want to know?)

Steph said...

You're a good son. I'd run. FAST.

sirgeb said...

Los-

I still have the sheet featuring such classics as our running commentary on the Trenton Arbeiter 7- and old women singing from the men's room. I’ll make sure it gets scanned in and sent over.

And I’ll be in my lederhosen on the 15th down at the DSB (the other/better German Club)- for the inaugural performance of their house oompah band. We’re looking for a name, if anyone has any suggestions. There's six of us- so I was hoping the name would involve Delaware, beer, or the German #6 (pronounced very similarly to 'sex') into our name.

minijonb said...

German-American culture is fading away here. We had a great German resto that recently closed so it could be torn down and be replaced with a parking ramp. Ahhh... progress!!!

El Padrino said...

no shot, your a good man
i'd RSVP fuck no to that

Crassius Maximus said...

It's good to get in touch wif yo' roots n' shit...Even if you have to choke down some bad food.

Sandi said...

Your wife is a saint to attend this with you.

Paige Jennifer said...

Sweetie, it's called a flask. Get one. And load it up with liquid gold whenever you are slated to attend something like this.

snowelf said...

los, this is one of those miserable life experiences that makes for GREAT blogging. I busted out laughing at the Das Cucaracha part!!

Ah, the things we do for our parents...

--snow

Christina_the_wench said...

Yes, but they put up with your ass for 18 years or so....*snort*

Los said...

Lisa - I think even you would've had a hard time staying awake.

Jeff - If they did Hitler on Ice, that would've been an improvement, obviously.

Steph - Eh, they're pretty good parents.

Geb - Fax that sheet over to me!!!!

Minijonb - Many German clubs closed in the Philly area over the past 20 years ... they just were never able to transfer the popularity over to the younger folks.

Elp - I owe a lot to my parents ... the least I could do.

Crass - If the food would've been good, it would've been a lot easier ...

Sandi - She enjoys the humor we make out of it.

Jennifer - That wasn't the problem - the beer was free!

Snow Elf - I'm still giggling over "Das Cucaracha."