Sunday, March 30, 2008

Let's Get Physical ...

This past Friday, I had a doctor’s appointment for my annual physical … problem is that I haven’t had an annual physical in about 5 years … oops, has it really been that long? Folks, let me tell you, this visit felt as if I was doing confession at a Catholic church, but the last time I did it was 5 years ago. The doctor came in the room, greeted me warmly, then looked at my chart, and gave me one of those “disappointed” nods. I felt like asking if I should say 5 Hail Mary’s, and then bend over.

The physical went well – I mean the nurse even asked if I worked out, because my blood pressure was 118/70 – I don’t know what those numbers mean, but apparently, that’s pretty good. The doc checked my ears, mouth, and I guess my lungs … apparently, the plumbing is still in good shape.

Now, I decided to confide in my doctor that I’ve had a little problem – nothing I thought was serious. Basically, I’ve developed a rash/discoloration on my back, upper chest, and neck over the past 6 months – not overly noticeable, but still there. It itches a bit, but my skin always itches. The doc took a look at it and said it wasn’t anything big – he said the name of the “disease,” I think it began with an M, and had every letter of the alphabet in it at least once.

What I found out is that I’m kind of like something you’d find at a discount rack … an uneven sweater. I never knew this was even possible, but apparently, I sweat very unevenly across my body, and the ph of the sweat causes the skin to change color slightly … however, because my sweat isn’t evenly distributed, this is why I have “blotches.”

Doc informed me that I could go to a dermatologist, however he wanted me to try something first – he said I should buy some Selson Blue and use it as a lotion on my back, chest and neck … Now, I’m sure we’re all familiar with Selson Blue – apparently, it is much more than a dandruff shampoo – it is very useful to uneven sweaters like me. Who knew? He directed me to apply it every night for a week, and the blotches should disappear. Most likely, I’ll have to continue this “procedure” on a monthly basis.

Doc gave me other examples of “medicines” that were originally developed for one “illness” and were found to work on other “illnesses.” For instance, Rogaine was originally developed for people with high blood pressure. So, not only did I get a physical, but I learned something about Rogaine and Selson Blue … go figure.

12 comments:

schue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
schue said...

We have to get your skin evened out, bikin season is just around the corner!

schue said...

We have to get your skin evened out, bikin season is just around the corner!

Jeff said...

"I’ve developed a rash/discoloration on my back, upper chest, and neck over the past 6 months ... I’m kind of like something you’d find at a discount rack … an uneven sweater."

An uneven back sweater, huh? Have you tried shaving it?

A lot of today's illegal drugs were originally anesthetics or pain medications.

El Padrino said...

you can be a super hero

Blotch Boy!

sirgeb said...

uneven sweater?
it nearly killed her!
--cue groans--

minijonb said...

when i get home, i'm going to pour Rogaine all over my body to get rid of a rash... oh, wait... is that right?

Lisa said...

If worse comes to worse, we can fill in the gaps with some craft fur .... or a pink marker. ... Babs

Ink and Stone said...

"I felt like asking if I should say 5 Hail Mary’s, and then bend over." MWAHAHAHHAHA!

My great-nephew has the same problem with uneven sweating. It's so strange to see because when he sweats a line goes straight down the center of his face and torso - the left half sweating, the right half dry.

Paige Jennifer said...

I've got nothing. Well, save for saying 'I've got nothing.'

Reverse said...

I would have tried Head & Shoulders 1st. Heh...heh...heh!

Los said...

Schue - Harrumph!

Jeff - I've gone so far as to wax it in the past.

ElP - Actually, I'd like to be Super Blotch Boy.

SirGeb - Double-Harrumph!

Minijonb - With that, you might be able to at least hide the rash.

Lisa - Pink marker? No thnaks!

Ink - Mine isn't perfectly uneven like that ... I have all kinds of weird designs on my back.

Paige - You're better than that!!!!

Reverse - Triple Harrumph!