Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Weird Stuff I'm Good At ...

Are there there any "non-important" things that you do, that you honestly think you do better than anyone else? Weird question, right? Let me explain.

I feel that I am really, really good at cooking bacon. I know, I know, bacon is really easy to cook. But, the thing with bacon is, that you need to cook long enough where it's crispy, but still has some "juice" to it. If you overcook the sucker, it's just dry and crumbly. I'm an expert at this, and have been told by quite a few people over the years that my bacon is perfect (sounds kinky). I have a whole time-tested routine with this - basically, I cook it on a griddle at 325 degrees, flipping frequently ... making sure to continue this until golden brown (again, you have to eye it, making sure not to overcook). As many of you know, bacon, in my opinion, is probably the greatest food ever (in fact, I have argued for bacon scented candles and air fresheners ... ehough said).

In a whole other example, at my company, we are required to "volunteer" a certain percentage of our time in other departments. For instance, I assist the literature fulfillment department - basically, I help to stuff envelopes a few hours a month. What I like about it is that it's totally mindless and simple. Sure, it's kind of boring, but it's a welcome relief during a stressful day of work. I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of the best envelope stuffers in company history ... I've even been complimented on how good I am. Of course, there are full-time envelope stuffers, and if there was ever a competition, there's a good chance they'd smoke me ... but at the very least, I feel I'm the best volunteer stuffer (again, sounds kinky).


Mrs Parks said...

So funny!

Have you seen Bad News Bears (the new one) where Billy Bob Thorton say's to the fat kid on the mound, "Is that a bag a bacon" and the fat kid looks down to the zip lock baggy in the dirt and says, "Yeah... I have to keep my metobolism up."

I love bacon.

scargosun said...

Bacon is a good thing and it sounds like you take it seriously. Good for you.

Ink and Stone said...

Don't forget the discussion we had here a few years back about splicing 'bacon' genes with tree genes so we could grow bacon on trees! Bacon trees! Think of the profit! And all the saved piggies!

Superstar said...

Bacon is tricky, and you are totally correct! It is a very important skill!

I love mindless work. I did a 9 week contract that was like that once! I was the best time, I got to think about what ever I wanted, while being very productive.

Mostly, I like to think about different story lines and plots I'd like to write about!
*note to self ask Los to help stuff CD Jewel cases*

Heff said...

I am especially skilled at eating bacon. Does that count ?

Sunshine said...

I am all for bacon, and yes, it is a tricky thing to cook... If your not watching then it can curl up on you and there goes the straight piece of bacon you waited and worked on for breakfast... Hats off to bacon... oink oink

Lisa said...

You DO make good bacon!

I had to help stuff 10,000 envelopes once on my first job. We all sat around talking about how stupid it was they were paying college grads to stuff envelopes ... don't you know I had the wrong part showing through the window? What a tool.


Alaina said...

mmmmm bacon. damn now I'm hungry!

stuff I'm good at... besides making snarky comments on peoples blogs?

I'm really good and writing instructions. Clear, concise, understandable directions, no matter the topic. But that's just geeky me.

The Rev said...

You can stuff your bacon into the ol' ham envelope, if you know what I mean.

Lionitt said...

Q1: But how is your ham cooking skill?

Q2: Are you stuffing envelopes or chatting to the old dude in the corner for two hours?

schue said...

We dont need a bacon scented candle, just walk past the griddle you use-you can smell it all the time. But you do make damn good bacon,I'm terrible at it.
You're really good at folding clothes too!

I love Gollum said...

bacon cooking skills are key

Los said...

Mrs. P - I haven't seen the new one ... I loved the old one.

Scargosun - Bacon is no laughing matter!

Ink - I remember that well ... didn't we draw a picture of that?

Superstar - Mindless work is good to do at the end of the day to sort of wind down.

Heff - I think that works...

Sunshine - Without a doubt!

Babs - Stuffing envelopes can be fun ... if you have nothing else to do.

Alaina - I'm good at writing instructions too, I guess that's why I'm an instructional designer.

Rev - Hey-yo!

Lionnitt - no ham, thank you!

Schue - Good point.

ElP - Without a doubt!

Jeff said...

Why don't you make your own bacon candle -- add a wick to a jar of bacon grease?

Can't be worse than, say, dropping a torn-up concert flier into a candle (though not at a bar.

Or you could set up a bacon lab in the basement. Like a meth lab, except it makes addictive stuff.

Jori-O said...

Makin' bacon is definitely a skill...and for what it's worth, you are good at making boring, everyday things sound kinky!

-B- said...

Try the Bacon Mints, they're divine! (eeew)