Keep it up, Phils!
1. On New York's "Naked Cowboy" trying to get some "exposure" in his presidential run:
"I had no idea Spitzer had that nickname!"
2. On South Africa's famous smoking chimp passing away:
"I had no idea DeKlerk had that nickname!"
3. On a man being arrested for having a pillow fight with his wife:
"Thank goodness they didn't grill any marshmallows!"
4. On pygmy goats getting high grazing on magic mushrooms:
"When asked how they felt the next morning, the goats responded with a resounding 'baa-aaad!'"
5. On a man peeling a $1 million USD Monopoly Game sticker at McDonalds - then being denied his prize due to supposed "typo" on the website:
"Somebody get Mayor McCheese on the case!"