Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wacky News Stories

Just wanted to give a quick shout-out to those Chilean miners!

1. On an alcohol-laced energy drink equivalent to at least three beers, a can of Red Bull and a shot of espresso having prompted a New Jersey college
to ban the drink after nearly two dozen students were hospitalized for alcohol intoxication:
"All you need is a the BK Breakfast, and your heart would probably shatter."

2. On a new Halloween treat - Candied bacon:
"Homer Simpson just wet his pants..."

3. On "Spider Goats" grazing on the side of a dam:
"Well, that ain't too 'baaaad.' In fact, it's 'dam' impressive!"

4. On a Shar Pei having a facelift so it could see:
"Cher and Joan Rivers were said to be extremely jealous ..."

5. On a woman who tripled her trouble when she stole a doughnut from someone's truck, peed in a parking lot and offered to perform a sex act on an officer for money:
"Poor Lindsay Lohan .... she hasn't found the bottom yet."


Heff said...

Red Bull is OF THE DEVIL !

Four Dinners said...

According to my pants I am the living embodiment of Homer Simpson...

paige said...

Red Bull is wonderful and delicious. If they stop making it I might become homicidal.

All of these are hilarious. ALL OF THEM.