Great, time to start raking leaves ...
1. On some spooked cities banning teenage trick-or-treating:
"Teenage trick-or-treating?!?!?!? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess these kids will have trouble finding a prom date."
2. On the possibility that come Nov. 3, California could become the first state to allow legal, regulated, taxed marijuana;
3. On Virginia possibly raising the speed limit to 70 on some highways:
"Oh man, somebody better tell Sammy Hagar he needs to update his song!"
4. On a story that on October 23, the Earth will be 6014 years old:
"Dinosaurs are rolling over in their tar-pit graves ..."
5. On a hungry showjumper causing chaos after he led his horses to a Liverpool McDonald’s drive-thru:
"I just love it when a guy decides to 'horse-around!'"