Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Drips and Drabs

1. Did you guys hear about all the Dick Cheney jokes? The late night hosts had a field day – not that this is very surprising. I guess it’s not every day that a vice president mistakes a guy for a bird, and shoots him. But I am shocked that none of the shows exploited the fact that he was shooting at quail – and putting in a zinger about how Cheney was actually aiming for Dan Quayle, the guy that single-handedly cost Bush senior a second term. I’m sure there will be more jokes about this, so I can only hold my breath and hope.

2. New York City was blanketed with the most snow ever recorded this weekend, and I’m surprised (once again) that the late night guys didn’t make more jokes about this. I figured they’d mix in a joke or two about world record numbers of drug pushers in the city as well. Of course, I’m still waiting for Pat Robertson to make another moronic remark (I think he is due, isn’t he) regarding the city deserving this because of all the sinners living there (stuff it, Robertson!).

3. My Monday ritual was sacrificed, thanks to a stupid dog show. Seriously, how many people could possibly be watching this? Do I need two hands to count them? Oh, and my Monday ritual is watching wrestling, so I guess I really shouldn’t be commenting on this.


4. Are the advertisers at Pepsi just mailing it in at this point? They’ve done a good thing by eliminating the “Brown and Bubbly” slogan. However, I just saw a new commercial featuring Pepsi and Jackie Chan as cops fighting bad guys. Ummmm…. Is this somehow supposed to make me want to drink Pepsi? If possible, this may actually be worse than the Pepsi NFL commercial in which the Patriots drafted a Pepsi machine. I felt myself actually getting dumber watching this… but not dumb enough to drink a Pepsi.

5. Speaking of weather, does it scare only me to know that some weather forecasters seem to be getting off a little too much on the weather? I mean, I think it is fine to be passionate about your job, but I bet that some of these forecasters would love to just get in bed with a nice tight-looking category 4 hurricane sometime.

3 comments:

Ink and Stone said...

1. I haven't heard any of the jokes... I'm not in the loop. :/

2. Robertson is a self-righteous asshole. And snow is fun.

3. Aw, poor wittle Karl missed his wrasslin'. 'Know how I can tell you're gay? You whine about missing wrasslin'!'

4. I like Coke better, but I'll drink Pepsi if no Coke is around.

5. A nice tight category 4, huh?
I can hear the sex lines now...
"Blow me, baby!"
"Your cumulo-nimbuses are so big!"
"Time to make landfall, baby!"

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

1. You're right. I've been waiting for a Dan Quayle reference, but there hasn't been much yet.

2. Letterman had some snow jokes in his Monday monologue, but he of course was overwhelmed with the Dick Cheney stuff.

3. Raw will be on tomorrow night. The WWE knew this would happen when they came back to USA.

4. The "brown and bubbly" has to go down as one of the worst marketing slogans in history. I'm glad they've abandoned it.

5. Yeah... Glenn Hurricane Schwartz has to be in love with storms. I can imagine him coming on to someone by saying, "hey baby, can I show you my high pressure system?"

Jeff said...

1. No Dick Cheney jokes [involving] Dan Quayle, the guy that single-handedly cost Bush senior a second term.
** Quayle was a liability, but Bush 41 lost the election when he broke his "Read my lips, no new taxes" pledge.

2. New York City was blanketed with the most snow ever recorded this weekend ... I’m still waiting for Pat Robertson to make another moronic remark ...
** I had no idea that ANYBODY paid any attention to Robertson within, say, the past 5 years.

3. My Monday ritual was sacrificed, thanks to a stupid dog show ... my Monday ritual is watching wrestling ...
** No, it's watching rasslin'. If only there were real wrestling on TV ...
** Thanks to the dog show, you actually HAD enough time to, ahem, partake of your other ritual. Just hope you washed your hands afterward.

4. Are the advertisers at Pepsi just mailing it in at this point?
** Madison Avenue often makes me feel highly overqualified for b-school.

5. ... some weather forecasters seem to be getting off a little too much on the weather.
** They're probably a little too used to a cold front.
** Some bloggers seem to be getting off a little too much on rasslin'.