Monday, February 27, 2006

Coming In Threes?

Don Knotts and the guy who played the dad in A Christmas Story died this weekend. So, you know how these celebrity deaths come in 3’s? My question is, who would you like to see complete the trifecta? Not that I want anyone to die, but I would like to see their “careers” halted (I just want to make that clear – I am trying to have fun with this blog, and don’t want to offend anybody … at least not too much). Here is my list:

1. Kevin Federline – The guy is so slimy that eels abhor him. He obviously is much like a Kato Kaelin, in that he tries to hook on to morons (Brittany Spears) in order to gain celebrity status.

2. Simon Cowell – I HATE American Idol. I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!!!!!! I have gone into many reasons why I have hated the show in the past, so I won’t bore you with a recap. But, I truly believe that Simon and this show have corrupted our minds, and have continued our forced acceptance of really bland music.

3. Barry Bonds – This guy makes my skin crawl. Arrogance emits out of this guy at a stronger rate than energy emits out of the sun. I will never question his athletic skills, but I will never get over the way he acts. I watch his games in the hope that his knees explode.

4. Corporations who have ruined terrestrial radio – Again, I’ve stated this many times, so I won’t rehash. I do believe internet and satellite stations applaud these corporations, because they have successfully helped to jump-start these markets.

5. All Boy Bands – Thank goodness that they don’t seem to be as popular as they were even a few years ago, but man, my ears bled when I heard their music (and it was played just about everywhere).

6. Osama Bin Laden – I don’t think I really need to add anything to this.

7. Politicians who won’t work together (both sides) – How can we accomplish anything with all of the bickering? Shouldn’t the people come first (that’s what she said) instead selfish political agendas?

8. Bode Miller – Enough already. You are a skier, and you are only popular once every four years. Why don’t you try and help the image of the sport instead of acting like a turd? The Olympics needs people who are potential role models, not arrogant jerks who think they are better suited for the silver screen.

9. Kobe Bryant – I think he should’ve tried to be a golfer or bowler, that way, he wouldn’t have to worry about including the rest of his team in the game … not that he worries about that now.

10. Gangsta Rap – I just want the whole genre to die. Seriously, how does this even get on the air? They talk about sex, violence, drugs, etc., and the FCC is O.K. with this? But, when Stern talked about this stuff in an arguably less graphic way, he got fined, censored, and was forced to leave. How does this work? Am I missing something?


Ink and Stone said...

My List:

1. Kevin Federline, Britany Spears, Christina Aguilera, and any of these other so-called pop "singers" who think that they actually make music. What they actually make is the sound of suck.

2. ALL REALITY TV. Ok, America.
A - this is NOT reality... this shit is no where close to reality.
B - it's fucking stupid. I don't give a flying frog's fat ass about a bunch of stupid assholes who are in some jungle area and need to 'survive'.
I hate this crap.

3. 'Gangstas' - Not the Al Capone, Frank Nitti type. I mean the gold chain wearing, bitch slapping, hooptie driving, idiots who think that being a 'gangsta' is cool and some sort of culture.

4. Pop culture.
Pop culture is not culture. Pop culture is not politics. Hollywood is stupid. Stop listening to them.

5. Osama and all terrorists in general.
Yes, we don't believe in what you believe in. No, we are not responsible for why you are the way you are.
Get over it.

6. All religion in general.
Get over yourselves. If someone doesn't believe in what you believe, deal with it. You don't have to show them 'the light' or 'the error of there ways'.
Stop being a bunch of intolerant fucks.
There is such a thing as Free Will.

7. Bipartisan Governments.
Hey there are more than 2 ways to look at a situation! Idiots.

Reverse said...

Gangsta Rap - You got a problem with mass genocide my man. Ink and I are gonna have a drive by at say 3-ish and pop a cap in yah for your blasphamy.

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

You got your trifecta today...

Dennis Weaver, gone! McCloud rides no more!

Jeff said...

1. Kevin Federline: Officially done after Family Guy took him down.

2. Simon Cowell: Who?

3. Barry Bonds: His teammates don't talk to him unless he speaks first.

4. Corporations who have ruined terrestrial radio: Books on Tape. Problem solved.

5. All Boy Bands: South Park's "Fingerbang" took them down.

6. Osama Bin Laden: Only #6?

7. Politicians who won’t work together: Good luck.

8. Bode Miller: Who?

9. Kobe Bryant: Barry Bonds without a bat.

10. Gangsta Rap: So the FCC is the real problem. Big news there!

** Let me add a few:
1. Terrorists. Islamofascists, abortion clinic bombers, eco-terrorists. Hamas, Hezbollah, the IRA, whatever. They're all the same.

2. Appeasers and enablers of terrorists.

3. Dictators. Iran's mad mullahs, Kim, Castro, Chavez, the ChiComs, the Burmese junta, etc., can all rot.

4. Politically-correct idiots. The dolts at Yale who granted admission -- with considerable financial aid -- to the Taliban official under the guise of "diversity" should go back to Pakistan with him.

5. Statist nannies. But they're obviously smarter than us, or else they'd "let us" choose for ourselves.

6. The Cult of Personality. Or, if you'd rather, the Oprah-fication of America.