Friday, June 02, 2006

A Different List

I’ve been enjoying the lists (number 2 list, Ingaisms, etc.), so I figured I’d share another one. At work the other day, I came up with a term for “self stimulation.” I have learned many terms for this, mainly because I have spent much time performing this “sport.” Here are some of my favorites (I will stories to certain ones that I either came up with, or need more explanation). Notice, I am not using the “traditional” ones, like Chokin’ the Chicken. Please share any that you like.

1. Doing Research – Since a lot of this self-love is done on-line nowadays, it is a nice code word to use. It makes it sound less naughty.

2. Eating Spinach – Popeye has very large forearms – he eats spinach, people who self-stimulate work out their forearms … get the picture?

3. Hockin’ a Pants-Lugie – Just made this one up. I think it speaks for itself.

4. Talkin’ to Willy – We have a friend with a lisp (or a wisp, as he says it). Anyway, he used to always say he was “Talkin’ to Willy,” but what he meant to say was that he was starting to worry. We, as good friends, decided that this term should be used for something else.

5. Launching the Lap Rocket – I got the term lap rocket from the new Bloodhound Gang song (Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo).

6. Tappin’ the Keg – For the beer drinkers (but please, don’t drink this beer).

7. Makin’ Glue – Hey, the stuff is awful sticky.

8. Extracting DNA – For the medical professionals.

9. Impregnating the Toilet - (if that is where you dispose of the tissue).

10. Exercising – Hey, you can lose some major calories from this.


Rev. Smokin Steve said...

Hitchhiking under the big top!

Los said...

Love it, Smokin'!!!!!

El Padrino said...

Pulling the Pork
Spankin the Monkey
Raising the Flag
Causing Spunk
Shooting the Caulk Gun

Christina_the_wench said...

I'm so getting you a box of tissues for Christmas this year. Maybe even some lotion if you're lucky.