Friday, June 30, 2006

Quality, My Ass!

Since you all seemed to enjoy the cable guy’s ass-print on the roof of my Tiburon story (humor me), I’ll give ya one more. I’m still stewing about this, by the way, and I have vowed that I will never buy another product from (through) this company again … unless for some reason I need a job and they hire me.

A couple of years ago, I heard about this really cool microwave/conventional oven. Basically, in addition to being a microwave oven and (more or less) a rather large toaster oven, this seemingly incredible über-oven was also a bread-maker, cake-maker, and rotisserie – all for around $250. Now, our kitchen is on the smallish side, so anytime a company makes an “all-in-one” product, I’m listening with both ears. By the way, this product was featured on one of those home-shopping stations. I won’t give you the name, but the company promises Quality, Value, and Convenience.

I decided to go online and place the order for this oven, and am put on a waiting list – no big deal. They won’t charge my credit card until the oven is delivered (this was a few days after Halloween, 2004). I am told that I could be on the waiting list for up to 3 months – again, I’m not concerned – a product this good I can wait for. I routinely checked the website to see the status, and right around Christmas time, the website says that the product has been shipped, and I can expect it sometime after January 1. I am jumping out of my skin at this point – I can’t wait to have this thing in my house, even though I probably will never make bread nor cake – just telling friends that I could, if I wanted to, would be awesome.

So, January 1 comes and goes. Then, the 5th comes and goes, and then finally on January 10, I call the place. The customer service rep says that this is common, and I should wait until January 17 – if the Intellichef is not at my doorstep on that day, I should call back. Well, January 17 comes, and still no oven. I call the place again, and the customer service rep says that she will reimburse me my money … I’m not satisfied, because I want the Swiss-army-oven, dammit! The lady says she could put me on the waiting list again. Steam was beginning to come out of my ears – I said that if I am put on the waiting list again, at the very least, I should be put at the top of it, because I had been on the list before. No dice. So, I was put on the list again … at the bottom.

So, three months go by, and I am still on the waiting list. I contact the customer service rep, and she says that it is a popular item and that I could be on for a little while. Then, 6 months go by, and still nothing. I begin to think that this company probably thinks that I screwed them out of the last microwave and I’m trying to get a second one for free. I call the customer service rep again, and ask her if I should just move on with my life – and she says “No, you’ll definitely get it.” 9 months go by, and still no microwave. Again, I call the customer service rep and ask her if I should just expect that I’m never going to get this microwave. Once again, the lady told me to be patient. It’s been about 12 months – I think I’ve demonstrated how patient I can be. Ghandi would be jealous ….probably not.

About a week after this, I got an e-mail from the company saying that they would not be able to fulfill my order. I was livid. I wrote them a real nasty letter saying stuff like “I thought you stood for Quality, Value, and Convenience – I received none of these.” I thought the company would at least acknowledge this, and offer me some kind of coupon for %20 off – but alas, I never heard from them again. Jerks.


Rev. Smokin Steve said...

I'm not sure, but I think my mom has that oven. She bought one of those deals from QVC.

You could go over to her condo and use hers. It talks and everything.

By the way... Soni and I were wondering how that Magic Bullet is working out for you. We're thinking about it.

Ink and Stone said...

Damn, Los. I told you to contact the Better Business Bureau. They keep a record of all negative comments submitted of businesses - especially major ones. Or write to local papers, word of mouth can do wonders.

Christina_the_wench said...

Yeah, what ink said. You should bitch big time to anyone who will listen.

Los said...

Smokin - we LOVE the bullet.

I probably should've contacted the Better Business Bureau, but it's too late now.

Jeff said...

Steve's mom got your oven. THAT is priceless.

Reverse said...

Sooo what you are saying is you have an ass dent on your car roof.

Superstar said...

Smokin: "silver bullet" the "magic" silver bullet as in kinky???What is there to think about??? Sorry...can't help it.

Los: At leasst they gave you your money back! ;P You should have written them that they owe you for suffering, damages, made up something about how your life went to the crapper due to them not producing your all in one "oven"...That would have been funny!!!

Dirty Birdie said...

LOL Swiss-army-oven....*snort*