After throwing my birthday bash this Saturday, I have learned some new things that may help each of you, when you plan a big bash:
1. When purchasing beer at a local distributor, it is always better to use cash, or even a credit card, than it is using a debit card. Why? Because, many times, the people at the cash registers have about as much brain power as a bag of sand (I hesitate using that, because I don’t want to offend the sand). This is what happened to me on Saturday. I purchase a keg of beer, some ice, and a 30-pack of beer. The bill comes to around $120. The lady charges my card $720. She goes to refund me the $720, and charges me $720 again (that’s $1440, friends). Now, I can’t get any more money out of my account until the end of business today, thanks to her gaff. I’m hoping there is no overdraft problem, that would really suck. I hope we all learned a lesson here.
2. Don’t put chicken wings out as appetizers at the beginning of the party. Why? Because, if only 3-4 people are there at the beginning, they will eat all of them, without giving a sh*t about the other guests who are coming later.
3. Don’t do shots of alcohol late in the party. Why? Because, either you will puke, or a friend of yours will puke, or both. Thankfully, I didn’t deliver the sidewalk pizza, but a friend of mine did. He passed out on a neighbor’s lawn as well, and it took 3 of us to drag him down to the basement. Just don’t do it, dammit!
4. Premake as much food as possible – because you will pretty much spend a good three hours on the grill.
5. Eat before the party, because if you are throwing it, you probably won’t have time to eat.