Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wacky News Stories

So, if the democrats and republicans can come to compromises, shouldn't the NFL players and owners be able to do so, too?

1. On a French physician who says his design for foldaway toilet is biodegradable, lightweight and would be useful following natural disasters:
"Um ... after a natural disaster, if your main concern is searching for a foldaway toilet, maybe you need to reset your priorities..."

2. On a report that finds that drinking too much alcohol is blamed for a "considerable proportion" of cancer cases:
"Since I don't curse on this blog, I can't really express my true feelings about this ..."

3. On a woman accused of attempting to circumcise her baby at home using a box cutter and a pair of pliers:
"Even McGuyver probably would recommend against this ..."

4. On a state senator wanting N.J. students to 'opt in' to paying activity fees for college campus events, following Snooki's Rutgers visit:
"Especially if Snooki doesn't even know how to spell Rutgers ..."

5. On a bill passed in the state House of Representatives in Texas raising the speed limit to 85 miles per hour on certain long stretches of road or designated lanes:
"Gives a whole new meaning to the word Fahrfegnugen!"

No comments: