Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Wacky News Stories

Did a church-sponsored yard sale with the wife last weekend ... I'll never get those 5 hours back!

1. On a waitress on disability because of a bad back being caught stripping at a strip club:
"In defense of said waitress, she was trying to take people's orders ..."

2. On a man who got shot with an arrow by his neighbor for parking in his parking spot:
"I'm guessing the man who 'illegally' parked, got the point ... I'll be here all week!"

3. On a memo from a fire department - The couch is not an ashtray:
"What about the recliner? Is this an ashtray?"

4. On TIME Magazine naming Lady Gaga the most influential artist of 2010:
"Well, at least it wasn't the Jonas Brothers ... or Nickleback."

5. On the Oil Spill that took place last week:
"Exxon is finally breathing a sigh of relief, thanks to BP."


Steph said...

Every time I hear someone talk about how wonderful Lady Gaga is I want to puke.

Reverse said...

LOS, I'm heading out for the week. On my way to Fenway in Boston, then Funspot in NH. Clown you when I get back.

Heff said...

Lady GaGa needs to get naked for the camera to prove she's got "talent".

paige said...

All very funny. #2 sounds like all of my fiance's jokes. BA-DUM-BUM.

Jeff said...

1. There's a job in City Hall waiting for her.

2. Neighbor = Ted Nugent?

3. Related memo: the gas can is not a fire extinguisher.

4. Did the suicide rate go up?

5. With an oil slick that big, you'd think Congress went for a group swim.

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