The big windstorm last weekend was kind enough to take off some of my siding ... now I know where my tax money will go ...
1. On Britain advising people to help prevent cancer by cutting down on steaks, hamburgers, sausages and other red meat:
"Sponsored by Chick Fil-A and Gortons!"
2. On a woman beating a £110 ($180) fine in a 30-hour standoff with a parking inspector:
"Wow - the revolutions in Egypt, and Lybia ... now revolutions against parking inspectors? Here's to hoping this revolution hits Philadelphia!"
3. On Canada’s “Pub Guy” Bill Perrie having a dream job that allows him to travel around the country in search of bars to drink his favourite brew - he just hit his 2,500 bar visit:
"Man, I wish my high school guidance counselor came up with ideas like this for me!"
4. On 14-month-old girl spending hours trapped inside a bank vault Friday evening after wandering off from her mother and grandmother:
"Looks like mom made the wrong deposit ..."
5. On the world's fattest contortionist:
"He was shocked to actually see his toes ..."